Weddingbee Blog

Can you have a wedding without a wedding party? No bridesmaids… no bestman… no matching dresses or rented tuxes?

Originally, Michael and I were going to have four attendants each. It was a very easy decision for me: my sister (matron of honor), my best friend for the past 20 years (maid of honor), my closest college friend and Michael’s sister. There were other friends who I would have loved to have in the bridal party, but 4 sounded like a good group.

Michael was planning on having his sister’s husband (best man), his sister’s husband’s brother-in-law (sister’s husband’s sister’s husband… huh?), his cousin’s husband and my brother-in-law.

…. His sister was the first to decline. She would rather just enjoy the wedding - no problemo. I can have uneven numbers or ask another friend (there was a law school friend I really wanted to ask, but I thought I should ask his sister first).

…. Then my college friend got preggers. (Yeah! She’s been trying for a year) She’s due a few weeks after the wedding and probably won’t even be able to attend (lives in DC).

…. Then his brother-in-law decides he wants a divorce. That dropped Michael down to his cousin’s husband and my sister’s husband. They were fine as groomsmen (two out of four) but he’s not really that close with either… not “best man” close… so he’s been avoiding the subject and hasn’t asked them. I know it’s really bothering him, so I’ve tried not to bring up the subject, but it’s T minus 5 1/2 months and counting, so some decisions need to be made.

Last night, I finally told him that he needs to deal with it and offered two options:

OPTION 1: No “best” titles - he can ask both guys to be “groomsmen” and just not have a best man; I would make my sister and best friend “bridesmaids” instead of maid and matron of honor (it’s only 2 of them, so they don’t really care).

OR

OPTION 2: No bridal party at all. We’d just have the kids (his nephew, my niece and nephew) walk down the aisles before us. My best friend would still be my best friend, she just wouldn’t be wearing a celadon green dress to prove it. Our sisters could be the witnesses and we’d obviously include everyone close to us in our pictures.

He’s thinking about it. I’m totally fine with option 1, but I don’t know how I feel about option 2 (even though I suggested it). Any thoughts?