Weddingbee Blog

I still haven’t changed my last name. There was a time when everyone I knew changed their last names immediately after marriage. Nowadays I see brides wanting to keep their last names more often. Some plan to change their names eventually but want to hold onto it just a little bit longer. Some don’t want to change their names but do it because they want to have the same last name as their children. Some hyphenate their last names. And some just keep their last names.

Why the dilemma? Is it hard to let go of a name you’ve had your entire life? Does changing our last names forfeit a part of our identity? For me the answer is yes and yes. I like my last name, though it’s a common one, because it reveals my ethnicity and that’s a big part of my identity. Having had a Korean last name my entire life and all of sudden having an American last name is a huge change. I wonder how differently people will perceive me. Will people treat me differently? I wonder if it would have been easier for me to change my name to another Korean last name.

Initially I didn’t change my name because I was pursuing a business venture targeted to the Asian market and thought that it would be better if I had an Asian last name. That made it easy for me not to have to face the decision immediately. It’s not that I don’t want to change my last name…. I do. I’m just having a hard time letting go because I’ve had this name for 27 years. Some people do call me Mrs. **** and I like the way it sounds. I like it when people acknowledge that I’m married. Mrs. Bee just doesn’t have that same feeling.

Mr. Bee doesn’t care whether or not I change my name - I’m the one who wants to change it because I do want the world to know that I’m his wife and I want our entire family to have the same last name. I know many brides whose husbands have put serious pressure on them to change their last names. To the guys out there… how important is it to you for your wife to change her last name?

Do you plan on changing your last name after marriage? Why or why not?