Weddingbee

A few years ago, Mr. Firefly’s cousin from the Boston area had a wedding with a cash bar. Cash bar?!?!?!??! Like, they made you pay for your drinks????

I was shocked; I had never heard of such a thing. Cash bars would simply never fly in New York. If you need to save money (and heck, who doesn’t), you decrease your guest list, skip the favors, cut out the flowers, dance to itunes, sleep outside the steps of Vera Wang’s sample sale for a cheap dress… you can do anything, but ask people to pay for their booz. Since I’ve been lurking on the knot’s message boards, I’ve come to realize that in many parts of the country, cash bars are not just acceptable, but sometimes expected.

There are some regional differences even within the NYC area. In the outer boroughs, Long Island and New Jersey guests expect that cocktail hour will be a virtual smorgasbord - pasta stations, carving stations, stir-fry, peking duck, raw bars, caviar, sushi tables, even make baked potato bars.

This is, of course, followed by a three or four course dinner. Dessert often, if not always, includes a Venetian hour where anyone with an elastic waist band gorges on cakes, pastries and chocolate-dipped everything. I grew up in Brooklyn and Mr. Firefly is from Staten Island, so this is what we’ve always expected at a wedding.

Things run a little bit differently in Manhattan and Westchester; cocktail hour is just that, an hour for drinking cocktails, eating some passed hors d’oeuvres and maybe munching from the fruit and cheese tray. Well, you can take the Bride (and her parents) out of Brooklyn, but don’t think for a minute that her guests will go hungry!

We had our tasting this week; everything was yummy, but my father was concerned that there wasn’t enough food at the cocktail hour. After he added a thing or three, this is the waist-expanding menu for cocktail hour:

Passed Hors D’oeuvres (Vegetable samosas, Baby lamb chops with date & mint pesto, Crab cakes with spicy peanut sauce, Coconut chicken with lemongrass & coconut milk sauce, Crab & artichoke stuffed mushrooms, Marinated baby shrimp on tortillas with guacamole spread, Heirloom tomato bruschetta & Tuna tartar in cucumber purse)

Mediterranean, Cheese & Fresh Fruit Display (often called a Tuscan Table)

Made-to-order Pasta Station (even the pasta itself will be made fresh!)

Carving Stations: braised short ribs & whole roast salmon

Seafood/Raw Bar (we’re Russian, so we’ll also be bringing our own caviar )

Sushi Station (Daddy Firefly: people will “talk” if we don’t do sushi)

… yes, all of this will be followed by dinner, dessert, and wedding cake… but, alas, no Venetian table!

• Carnival Wedding
• A Sweet Tip