Weddingbee Blog

Fao Schwarz is offering this limited edition Carolina Herrera Barbie doll for $140. The doll also comes in a brunette. It would make a nice (but pricey) gift for your flowergirl.

Your flowergirl will probably be just as happy with this $15.99 rendition of Bride Barbie from Toys ‘R Us.

It’s customary to tip many of your wedding vendors so you need to make preparations before your big day. I know it’s a lot of moola on top of what you’ve already spent on your wedding, but you want to recognize your vendors for a job well done.

These are my “tips” on tipping:

• Be sure to check all your contracts to see which ones already include gratuities.
• Designate someone (wedding planner, groomsman, parent) to hand out tips on your wedding day.
• Prepare envelopes with cash with each vendor’s name on them beforehand. Have some extra cash set aside in case you want to give a bit more to a vendor who went the extra mile. You can even buy wedding gratuity envelopes.
• Hand out tips before a vendor leaves so you can base them on the level of service they provided. Don’t be shy about neglecting to give a tip to a vendor that provides bad service (a limo driver showing up an hour late for instance).
• Owners of their own businesses should not be tipped (in fact it could be considered an insult!). These include but are not limited to: officiants, wedding coordinators, florists, photographers, videographers, and DJ’s.
• Thank you notes/cards are always appreciated!

These are some general tipping guidelines:

Nails, Hair, and Make-up - 15-20%.

Limousine Drivers - 15-20% of the bill unless gratuity is already included.

Valet Parking Attendants - $1.00 per car. Be sure to post a sign telling guests that gratuities have been taken care of and instruct attendants not to accept tips.

Maitre’ D - If it’s not included in your contract, $150-$300.

Waitstaff - Gratuities are often included in catering contracts. If they aren’t, 15% of your total bill is customary. (I’ve heard $15-$25 per waiter too.)

Bartenders - Gratuities for bartenders are often included in catering contracts otherwise 10% of the total liquor bill is customary. Never, ever allow your bartenders to put out a tip jar - it’s in horribly poor taste. This happened to me at my own wedding with one of the bartenders; luckily my wedding planners quickly put an end to it. Instruct bartenders to refuse tips from guests as well.

Restroom and/or Coatroom Attendants - $.50 to $1.00 per guest if it’s not included in your contract.

Ceremony Musicians/Band Members - Tipping your musicians is not required but it’s always appreciated. $20-$25 per member is standard.

DJ - Optional, especially if they’re the owners, otherwise $50-$100.00.

Delivery people - (florist, cake baker, rentals) $10 per person.

On our wedding day we tipped the hair stylist/make-up artist, limo driver, and band members. Gratuity for everyone else was included in our contracts. For our wedding planners, photographer, and florist (who all own their businesses) we opted to give them each a nice bottle of bordeaux.

These are just general guidelines but who and how much you decide to tip is completely up to you.

I came up with this idea when I saw these travel frames on Love, me yesterday.

Instead of giving your bridesmaids the traditional “will you be my bridesmaid” cards, how about giving them one of these frames? On one side you can put a picture of the two of you, and on the other it can say, “Will you be my bridesmaid?”

I know… I’m a big fat cheeseball. But admit it, it’s cute!

A Dear Weddingbee question in the previous post got me thinking about alternatives to the traditional brick and mortar registry. About.com had a good article on untraditional registry alternatives including a link to a great New York Metro article about couples who register for anything from Mercedes’ to art.

An option you might consider is setting up a registry on Felicite - one of the hottest things to hit the wedding registry world. It’s a new type of registry that lets you register for anything from anywhere.

We are an independent service where your friends can view your gift list and place an order. We’ll collect and consolidate payments and then either order the gift for you or credit your account so that you can buy it yourself.

Big ticket items can even be broken down into affordable pieces for your guests to contribute individually. And everything is absolutely free for the bride and groom.

Perhaps you’d like to have guests contribute to a honeymoon registry instead. Nuptual Paradise had a good post on all the different honeymoon registries out there.

And of course there’s HUD’s Bridal Registry Account (contributions towards a new home) and The Knot’s American Express gift checks registry that we mentioned in our previous post.

Whichever registry route you choose - traditional or nontraditional - nowadays, there are options out there to suit every personality and need.

Dear Weddingbee,

In some Asian weddings, brides and grooms would rather receive cash gifts instead of actual gifts. What is the etiquette of asking people who are unfamiliar with Asian weddings?

Angel

~~~

Dear Angel,

My initial reaction when I read your question was to think that asking guests for cash gifts was a faux pas. Then I thought about it for a second and realized that despite having a small registry, we returned a lot of the wedding gifts we received because we simply didn’t have the room for them in our small Manhattan apartment.

Today, traditional registries are not one size fits all. You may already have all the homewares you need. You may not have room for gifts from 150 guests. You may be saving for your first home or a car. Whatever the reason, cash gifts allow you the flexibility to purchase what you need most. And while cash gifts are a custom in Asian weddings, cash is certainly an appreciated gift at any wedding! It’s all a matter of asking your guests the right way.

I decided to do a little research and came across an article where Peggy Post - the judge of all things etiquette - says that it’s ok to ask for cash.

One of the most common challenges that couples face is how to request money as a wedding gift. Doing so is acceptable, if done politely.

If you seek down-payment money, get the word out through family and friends, Post recommends. Just don’t include that info in the same envelope as a wedding invitation.

“If you are asked point-blank what you would like for a gift, you might say, ‘Whatever you choose will be wonderful, I’m sure, but money for a house down payment is on the top of our wish list,’” Post says.

This knot article also offers some good suggestions and ideas for a cash registry:

If you decide to set up such an account, or simply want your guests to know that you’d prefer checks — let your parents, close relatives and friends, and wedding-party members know that when guests ask, they can tell them that. But don’t completely forego some sort of traditional registry. Give guests a choice — some may really want to give you something material, rather than just writing you a check.

These days, there are actual registries set up around the concept of monetary gifts — including the Bridal Registry Account, created by no less than the federal department of Housing and Urban Development! Couples can open a bridal registry savings account with participating Federal Housing Administration-approved banks nationwide. Family and friends can then deposit cash wedding gifts directly into the interest-bearing account — call (800) CALL-FHA for more information. Or sign up for the Create-A-Gift on The Knot Registry to receive AmEx Gift Cheques to be used toward whatever it is you want for your wedding gift — a down payment on a new home, a massage for your honeymoon — traditional or not.

The best points the two articles make are 1) don’t include anything about your registry on your invitation, and 2) create a traditional registry (even if it is a small one) for guests who may feel more comfortable giving you an actual gift.

Hope this helps. Good luck Angel!

Best,

Mrs. Bee

Carley Roney, Editor-in-Chief of The Knot, will be at Michael C. Fina on March 8 from 6-8 pm. She’ll be answering all of your wedding etiquette questions. I might go for the goodie bag.

(click image for larger view)

Mr. Bee prefers disposable razors because they offer a much closer shave than electric razors. Caswell Massey carries this beautiful swivel razor and stand for only $30 - and it uses Gillette’s Mach 3 blades! (idea from: apr/may 2005 modernbride)

Add this Deluxe Men’s Collection from Kiehl’s (products manly enough for men to use), and you’ve got yourself a nice little groomsman’s gift.

There’s a new online wedding organization site called Bridal Insight.

The site offers:

• To-Do List
• Calendar
• Address Book
• E-mail & text message reminders (for you or anyone in your wedding party)
• Special promotions from advertisers (ads are a little annoying)
• Listings & easy registration for Local Bridal Shows (some are free)

The local bridal show links will come in handy (I already saw one I’m interested in). The to-do list comes with a premade list of standard to-dos based on one year before your wedding date that you can edit or delete to suit your needs. But the text message reminders that can be scheduled and sent to anyone you want (as long as you know their phone number and service provider) is the coolest feature.

If you’re looking for something to keep your wedding planning organized, this is a nifty little tool.

I have a confession. I never had to search for a photographer… no browsing through websites, no looking at portfolios or books, no asking for raves or rants on The Knot; there was never a question, I was going with Leah McCormick.

I often find myself going on Leah’s website just to look at her photos and imagine how she’ll capture our wedding. Lately, I’ve been a bit disappointed because Leah’s had the same pictures on the site for almost a year. I couldn’t take it, I need more, I’m addicted.

Well, she hasn’t updated her website, but she sent me a “fix” today of photos from some recent weddings. All I can say is WOW… if you’re still looking for a photographer - in NYC, San Fransisco where she now lives, or some other lovely corner of the world - you must check out her work…

No we have not started one. Yes we are planning to. I remember chatting with pc1004rn & Mrs. Bee on AIM two weeks ago and they were both like “I can’t believe you haven’t started your registry!” and then they proceeded to laugh at me.

I should give them an atomic wedgie, shank their pants down, and push them in the snow face first. Then we’ll see who’s laughing. Most likely it will be me, laughing and pointing at their wedgies and also taking their wallets. MuHAHAHAHAHA! I will donate a dollar from each of their wallets if someone will assist me? Any takers?

So tonight, Mr. Ladybug and I made an appt to go to Crate and Barrel’s Sunday Morning Engagement at Paramus Mall. Why Paramus? Sunday the mall is closed so they do this on Wednesday evenings. I’ll let you guys know how it goes. Maybe even take photos?

Luggage Tags are an excellent idea for save the dates, placecards, and favors. They’re especially appropriate if you’re having a destination wedding, but I think they’re something practical that everyone will use and love.

If you’re using a luggage tag as a save the date, you can print your wedding information on one side of the insert showing through the window, and leave blank lines on the other side for the guest’s name and address.

(image courtesy ebay store vikishop)

Beau-Coup carries several different luggage tag styles that are great as placecards/favors. The classic and the cosmopolitan:

The airplane and the nautical. I’ve seen these styles on several different sites so shop around for the best prices.

The golf.

Love, me has some of the most adorable luggage tags including initial,

alligator,

flip flop,

heart,

flower,

and plain leather.

Girlfriend luggage tags would be great favors for a shower.
Love, me has some awesome wedding stuff (it’s definitely my favorite site of the week) so check it out! Celebrity wedding planner Mindy Weiss is one of the founders.

Beachcomberbride also carries several styles of luggage tags.

There are even luggage tag kits so you can make them yourself. You’d have to put in each guest’s addess yourself however, because they need to be laminated. The Stationery Studio has tons of designs to give you ideas.

Do some research for the style/color that suits your needs because there are endless choices out there when it comes to luggage tags. Surf sites like ebay for the best prices.

Luggage tags are a little personalized touch that are sure to be a hit at your wedding!

We get tons of emails here at weddingbee so we’ve enlisted the help of industry professionals to answer your questions!

~~~

Hello! I just got engaged this past Saturday and I’m so excited…. and scared. I have no idea where to begin. What would you suggest the first couple of things a bride-to-be should do?!

Thanks,
Annie

~~~

Dear Annie,

The first thing for you and your fiance to decide is whether you’re going to plan the wedding by yourself. If you want to work with a planner, I think it will be best to interview planners before running to pick the dress or venue.

If you’re planning to do it without help, you need to first answer the following questions:

• What time of year are you looking for?
• How many guests do you want… and who goes on the guest list?
• What’s your budget for the event? Once you have a budget, you can start looking at venues in your price range.

For more information on how to get started with your wedding planning, please visit our website. Congratulations, and good luck!

Eyal Tessler, In Any Event

Enter theknot’s Jean M sweepstakes for a chance at winning a $1000 Grand Prize and a $500 First Prize.

This is the ranking of my sisters to make this entry easier to comprehend:

Sarah’s Wedding (2002) / Sorry it’s blurry.

Sarah / The oldest / 31 / Married / Pregnant / The normal one
Susan / #2 / 30 / Soon to be married / The bitch
Hannah / #3 / 28 / Student / Out to save the world
Esther / #4 / 26 / Married / 1 lil girl josie-poo-poo-butt
Nancy / #5 / 24 / Fashion Industry / Professional Paranoid Freak

My cell phone starts ringing this morning at 9:30am while I’m at my desk…

Me: Hello?
Sarah: (my oldest sister) Hi Susan.
Me: Hi Sarah. Sarah, what have I told you about calling me on my cell phone between the hours of 9-5 during the week while I’m at work?
Sarah: Susan, my water just broke.
Me: *GASP* What? Really?!

So I told Sarah that I’d let everyone know, so I call Hannah…

Hannah: Hello?
Me: Hi Hannah.
Hannah: Hi Susan.
Me: Sarah’s water broke!
Hannah: *GASP* What? Really?!

So I told Hannah to call Esther and that I would call Nancy…

Nancy: (in a really bored tone) Hello?
Me: Hi Nancy
Nancy: Hi (I mean you can’t sound more bored than how she sounded)
Me: Sarah’s water broke!
Nancy: *GASP* What? Really?!

Hannah calls me back….
Hannah: I called Esther and I was like “Hi Esther” and she’s like “Hi Hannah” and I say “Sarah’s water broke!” and she goes “OH CRAP!”

Hahahaha… I’m going to be an aunt again!

Whenever I walk through Central Park, I try to convince Mr. Firefly to have our portrait sketched by one of the sidewalk artists. But it’s hard to tell who is actually talented - they all post the same sketches of Tupac and Tony Montana.

I’ve found something a lot better! Custom Canvases will take any image you provide, like snapshots, vacation photos, drawings, clip art, photocopies, illustrations and paint a stylized representation of your image in vivid color on actual canvas. The results are fantastic. I will definitely have one of our wedding photos done.

And with prices starting at $58 for a 6×6 painting, it can make a great bridesmaids (or anytime) gift.