Not-So-Girly Bride
April 7th, 2006 @ 8:06 am by Mrs. Ant
On the girly-meter, being a bride tops the scale. It’s right up there with being a princess. Except princesses are formally trained for years whereas brides are sort of thrown into planning that one day of ultimate girliness. Not fair, if you ask me!
I admit that I am not very girly.
So here I am, rather unprepared for this transformation. I have no idea how to apply makeup foundation. Just a week or so ago, I was still a pedicure virgin. I can cross manicure virgin off my list as soon as I stop biting my nails (working on it, I swear). I would much rather take my bridesmaids white water rafting than to a spa. My fiance definitely has better taste in wedding dresses than I do. Accessorizing? Yes, that’s one girly thing I do everyday - if you count my engagement ring.
I’m not saying that I’m a tomboy. Far from it. There is just a big gap between the normal me and the vision of fairytale loveliness that I want to be on my wedding day.
Sometimes, getting in touch with my girly side is pretty darn fun. Okay, more than sometimes. 
But there are also moments when the process is intimidating and overwhelming. Looking bridal (i.e. perfect) is not easy!
Thankfully, my fiance did not ask me “Will you be my bride?” He asked me to be his *wife*, to love and take care of each other for the rest of our lives. He certainly doesn’t demand and expect perfection from me (haha, what a joke that’d be). So why am I so obsessed with looking absolutely perfect? Maybe I’m just being silly and I should just be myself…
Haha.. yeah right! Of course I’m going to strive for bridal perfection, no matter how ridiculous it is. Everyone’s eyes, including the cameras, will be on me. And I only get one chance to shine on my wedding day. Plus, I am completely and utterly brainwashed by the media and wedding industry. (My apologies to anyone looking forward to an epiphany.)
So in the next few months, you will be subjected to my adventures in learning how to be more girly and beautiful. Everything from practicing how to be more photogenic, to whitening my teeth, to experimenting with makeup (my wedding is on a tropical island with no makeup artist on site), to trying false eyelashes (yikes), to my first spa facial, to finally quitting nail-biting, etc.
Wish me luck! I’ll be needing it…
Any other not-so-girly brides out there? 
I can’t be the only one… right?
Related Posts
9 Responses to “Not-So-Girly Bride”
right here!!! i hear ya!!! my bra & underwear never match. neither does my handbag & shoes. i carry messenger bags every day. all my makeup can fit in my pocket. i think i own just one skirt. pedicure? i had one done once, almost died from laughter beacuse my feet are so ticklish! i need major, i mean MAJOR, help on my big day! thank you weddingbee for everything so far!
I’ve been reading this site off and on since my engagement last year (and now, definitely more ‘on’ as the big day approaches) but this post definitely made me want to comment - Non-girly brides unite, indeed! I have never imagined my wedding day, never imagined my wedding dress, and never thought had an opinion on my engagement ring (well, except that it be sparkly of course) - so I’m sorta speed reading wedding magazines to develop my inner-bride. It’s definitely been a work in progress! One thing I’ve been looking for is like a Dummies Guide to Weddings and Being a Bride - including ettiquette, traditional wedding-related events, how to use a veil without having to use a comb to attach it, etc… so if you see anything like that, please pass it along (and vice versa!). Also, I’ve been a nail biter for quite some time and have finally decided to kick the habit - the nails on 6 out of 10 fingers are growing in nicely. Thanks for your post and helping us not-so-girly brides come out of the closet!
*raising both hands in the air*
forget about not knowing how to apply make-up, i can barely walk in heels! i love to wear skirts, but with flip-flops or tennis shoes! did you ever watch “father of the bride?” the girl wore sneakers with her dress. i want to wear timberlands with my dress!
HI! omg, i really thought that i was the only one that felt that way! I too am somewhat…non-girly and my wedding is coming up soon too. ive been experimenting with makeup, spas, manis and pedis…just recently i had my first mani and pedi; a rather strange girly tradition if you ask me. now my maid of honor (who is more familiar with being girly than me) is trying to find a perfect place for us to do my bridesmaids’ hair and nails. I’m soooo lost, but i’m so glad that YOURE just as terrified as i am about this whole bridal experience! ^_^
I am totally there with you all! I was married last December, and pre-wedding I felt like a fish out of water. “Doing my hair” most days means washing and brushing it - some days I will go so far as to put some gel in it - often a ponytail. And my engagement ring is my only accessory, too.
I got my degree in vocal performance, so one would think I was familiar with being all glammed up, but no - for big performances I would beg the help of my friends. But we had an “away” wedding, so none of my friends were there. The only makeup I had was mascara. With all the other stresses, and with getting married away from my hometown, I didn’t even have a plan. Thankfully, I have a wonderful cousin who stepped in the morning of the wedding - she is AMAZING with make-up and had a healthy variety of make-up between her supply and her brother’s girlfriend’s, so I didn’t even have to buy any!! Talk about a God-send!
Then there was my hair… I felt like a traitor to brides everywhere. I did my own (my cousin did smooth on something she had to keep it from frizzing). I wore it all down - straightened, then some loose curls. For shoes, I went with some Indian juttis - flats, comfortable, but bride-like:). And I didn’t *gasp* have a manicure - there was just no money left. But I rather think no one even noticed. 
i’ve helped create beautiful weddings and have been the wedding coordinator-zilla but now i am engaged myself and i’m the most RELAXED bride EVER! i don’t care about the dress, the location, the favors, the flowers…. i’ve learned to realize more and more what is REALLY important to me about that special day— to marry the man of my dreams! (cheese, i know.. 
anyhow, yes, deep down inside of me tho, i wanna look HOT on my wedding day~!
wow, you all are my saviors right now - everyone keeps insisting that i just have to suck it up and be girly for the wedding, but it’s just not me. wearing a hardcore dress is the girliest thing for me, and i am also hoping to throw on some flip-flops! i keep trying to tell everyone (and myself) it’s about the marriage, not the wedding, but it’s hard to keep track of that… thanks for writing that post, i’m so happy i’m not alone in this boat!
i’m not big on make up but found this new line called bare escentuals… http://www.bareescentuals.com/ i’m seriously in love… i went to sephora this past weekend, got introduced and now we’re inseparable
natural-looking make up with full coverage @ the same time 100% minerals… does it get any better than that
i got the starter kit @ sepora for $60.00, the bare escentual outlets sell the start kit for $75.00 but you can 3 extra things with it… so far so good… i’m so addicted right now i wish i had the WHOLE line…
Mrs. Ant, New York/Jamaica
Age and Occupation: 25, PhD Student
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 25, Finance
Engagement Date: July 26, 2005
Wedding Date: November 18, 2006
Blogging Since: February 15, 2006
Venue: Rockhouse Hotel
About Me: I live in New York but I'm planning a destination wedding in Negril, Jamaica. My fiance and I are high school sweethearts!
Alright, I’ve been lurking since I found weddingbee 2 months ago, but I’ve gotta make a comment now. You are so not the only one!
I never considered myself a tomboy either, but so much of what you’re expected to do before your wedding is just foreign–unless you’re a professional megalomaniac, I don’t think it’s normal to be so obsessed about yourself and your appearance. But somehow, when it’s your wedding, it’s not only normal, it’s expected!
I am in my last 3 weeks (April 28) and have had my first dermatology appts (which you may want to check out vs. the spa facials…better results in a faster period), my first pedicures, and the first time I had someone else do my makeup (for the trial.)
You know, the weirdest thing is how skewed your bargain radar gets…you buy so much that you’ll never use again, and you pay twice as much for it because it’s your wedding and somehow that makes it okay (I wasn’t like that at first, but got less picky about cost towards the end.) All in the name of being more perfect for 6 hours of your life!
Anyway, you are not alone! Non-girly brides unite!