Wedding Blog
Every culture has their own traditions regarding engagement gifts from families. My culture and Mr. Butterfly’s cultures are very simliar in this regard, as we are Korean and Chinese, respectively. However, I think his family is much more “American” than my family because they are not insisting on any Chinese traditions regarding gifts, engagement, etc.
My mother, on the other hand, wants to do it the Korean way. Apparently in Korea when a couple gets engaged, the family of the bride provides the groom with a nice watch and a suit. If the groom has a good pedigree (good education, profession, money, family), then the bride’s family is expected to provide much more. It’s called the 3 keys: 1 car key, 1 house key, and 1 key to some type of country club. Well, that’s what my mom told me anyway. 
I don’t put too much stock in the 3 keys thing, but my parents did get Mr. Butterfly the watch and the suit. Instead of a regular suit, however, I convinced my mom to get him the tux that he will wear for his wedding (cut down on costs!!).
The watch.
The tux.
What do you think?
Mr. Butterfly’s mom also got me a nice gift a few weeks ago too.
So what are your culture’s traditions on engagement gifts?
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i love the tux - the color’s hot!
My mom wanted to buy Mr. Bee a watch but he refused! He didn’t want to wear a Rolex. Or a plasma! Madness.
too funny; I was just going to write about that. Russian parents tend to get future son-in-laws nice watches or something equivalent. My parents bought Mr. Firefly a gorgeous Cartier Tank Francaise (i picked it out).
He’s not russian so totally wasn’t expecting it. The problem is that now I have nothing to buy him for a wedding gift! He wouldn’t really wear cufflinks, we already have a good tv …
i love the earrings. nice FMIL!!
i’m chinese. our engagement traditions consists of the groom bringing to the bride’s family a roasted pig, 2 chickens, a ton of wedding cookies/cakes, liquor, dried seafood, 2 coconuts w/double happiness painted onto them in chinese, and the money that the groom’s family is to give to the bride’s family for the bride’s hand in marriage. on top of this, you have to ask a fortune teller to find a “lucky day” to have these gifts presented. my family is very americanized so my father didn’t care for this, but my FI insisted on following tradition. it was a pretty confusing day b/c almost all of us didn’t know what we were doing! i’m glad my FI insisted we do this, b/c we had so much fun! plus, we chose my mother’s bday as the day which made it all the more special!
The “watch and suit” tradition is very similar to Chinese’s. That’s what my best friend’s parents gave to her fiance, plus a pair of shoes and a few more things that i don’t remember. OH, and he also received a MAN’S E-RING! That’s more the Taiwanese tradition. Isn’t’ that interesting! Haaaa i guess that’s more fair to the groom. They also got a BIG amount of $$$$ for a down payment for a house or whatever they want to spend on. As for the girl, the groom’s parents usually give her nice jewelry. My best friend got quite a few of those and also a diamond watch.
My mom filled me in on all the korean traditions for the engagement and wedding, but I’m not sure if we will follow all of those, esp since the inlaws have no idea about our traditions (and are the type who might feel bad if they don’t reciprocate or will feel incline to do the same). However, I planned on getting him a watch, but he decided he wanted a tv more (sure whatever). My mom is going to host a korean engagement ceremony at her house, invite them all over for the weekend, and I’ll wear my new hanbok. That’s when we will ask if the MIL will want a hanbok as well for the wedding ceremony, which I will buy for her as a gift.
those gifts are sweeeet!
our families aren’t big on tradition. which is a good thing for us because our parents are totally supportive of our destination wedding.
Hmm, I had thought that Korean tradition was that the groom’s family provided the future house / apartment of the husband and wife to be. Meanwhile, the bride’s family is expected to provide all the daily household stuff like pots, pans, china, silverware, blankets, etc as well as a gift to each of the groom’s family members, including extended family - uncles, aunts, cousins, second cousins, you name it.
I think traditional gifts for the parents of the bride and groom also are hambok for the mother and suit for the father. Eh, maybe not traditional, but the most popular anyway.
Luckily, my fiancee’s family isn’t into the whole gift everyone a gift thing - thank goodness.
could someone tell me why the bride gives the groom a watch (in korean tradition)?
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Mrs. Butterfly, New York
Age and Occupation in 06: 27, Bridezilla in training
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 30, Making me happy by saying "yes dear" to everything related to wedding planning.
Engagement Date: February 3, 2006
Wedding Date: November 18, 2006
Venue: Twenty-Four Fifth
About Me: Our wedding will be small but fun. I want a whole range of music including cheesy 80's music! But we'll see how that works out��‚��
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