Wedding Blog

Mrs. Bee kindly invited me to the Wedding Salon at Gotham Hall last night, and I happily tagged along. The Wedding Salon is supposed to be the ne plus ultra of wedding planning events — the home of the $100,000 Kleinfeld gown and $500 gift bag. How could I not go?

We arrived around 5pm, and were serenaded by a man in what appeared to be fox hunting breeches and a 4-foot long trumpet. That became annoying in approximately 5 seconds. See? The Wedding Salon IS helpful! Within seconds of arriving, I had already decided I did not want a fox hunter to play horse race starts on a trumpet at my wedding! An excellent start.

Next we checked in, and because of Mrs. Bee’s star status, received VIP bracelets. Sadly our VIP bracelets still only entitled us to a single gift bag. Which, I have to say, Mrs. Bee generously gifted to me! Despite her love for all things gift bag, she GAVE IT TO ME! She didn’t even take me up on my offer to share. Saintly!

We started our rounds. It was crowded. I have seen crowds like this once before. Mr. Caterpillar and I went to Tokyo last August, and got stuck in Tokyo Station during rush hour. 2 million people commute through Tokyo Station every day. I bumped into every single one of them while trying to run against traffic toward a rice ball store. This was similar, except there was a live band singing a cover of Beyonce’s “Crazy in Love” and the lighting was lower.

There were about a billion vendors. I stopped at all the honeymoon/travel booths because Mr. Caterpillar has not yet started planning our trip, and I’d like to leave hints around the house as to how I would prefer the Four Seasons Jimbaran Bay to a bus travel trip to Niagara Falls.

The center of the hall was devoted to table displays, and it WAS pretty impressive. One of the tables was decorated a la The Firebird. It was like Christmas had exploded all over it — a lot of gilt, a lot of red velvet, and a lot of Faberge-style eggs. No, really. Faberge-style eggs.

I liked all the candlelight and the centerpiece on this table. The flowers are by Chestnuts in the Tuileries.

And I liked the napkin rings on this table. They had funny little flowers tucked into them.

Someone passed by and gave me an hors d’hoeuvre sample. I think it was a slice of steak on a baguette. It was . . . chewy. Someone else came by with a cake sample, but I was still chewing on the steak. I think Mrs. Bee had some though.

Two vendors that stood out: Doyle & Doyle and Bernard Maisner Calligraphy & Fine Stationery.

Doyle & Doyle has an enormous collection of serious antique/estate jewelry. For sale or rent. To rent for a day, you put down 20% of the retail price of the item. When you return it, you’re credited 60% of the rental fee toward a purchase. For week long rentals, you put down 30% of the retail price.

Bernard Maisner does some mean copperplate calligraphy. He wrote my name on an envelope with substantial swirling and whatnot. If I were fancy, I’d have Bernard Maisner do my invitations.

Next, we found the Allure Magazine Beauty Suite. Someone did my hair. It involved lots of hairspray. He wasn’t used to working with people who have an enormous amount of hair, so there was a lot of twisting and groaning. He snapped himself with a rubberband trying to get it around my ponytail twice. Mrs. Bee thought it looked nice. I think I’ll not be doing it for the wedding.

While my head was in the custody of the hair man, Mrs. Bee collected the gift bag. It was possibly the gift bag of all gift bags, barring any sort of movie industry self-congratulatory awards show gift bag. It came with an All-Clad frying pan! As well as loads of make up — MAC lip gloss, Lancome mascara, Essie nailpolish (in my favorite color, Mademoiselle), Amore Pacific skin care scrubs and polishes. It also came with . . . panties. They’re white satin in front with blue and white ribbon ties at the side. The back is completely transparent and is screen printed with “Just Married.” Rhinestones abound. Mr. Caterpillar thought they were frightening. Lots of food also came along — cookies and colored M&Ms, mints, and candy coated almonds. I gave the cookies to Mr. Caterpillar to review. More when he gets back to me.

Oh, and the $100,000 dress from Kleinfeld? Kind of crazy. It had a giant diamond brooch in the center of the bodice, and two asymmetrical diamond straps on the right shoulder. It also had ruching and lace and pickups and ruffles and shirring. So, if you’re the indecisive type, or you just like lots of stuff, this might be the dress for you.