Weddingbee Blog

Brides often stress about what they should give their bridemaids, so I thought I’d share what Mr. Bee and I gave to our wedding party - perhaps it’ll give you some ideas.

• 1 groomsman got a cigar club membership
• 1 groomsman got a wine club membership
• Maid of honor and 1 bridesmaid each got an ipod shuffle and an itunes gift card
• 1 bridesmaid got a ton of makeup from MAC (my moh is a make-up artist so she gets 40% off ;))
• Male usher, male giftbook attendant, 2 wedding planners, photographer all received a nice bottle of bordeaux
• Female giftbook attendant received a limited edition cleansing oil from Shu Uemura

You might choose to make something meaningful like a photo album, or maybe buy a piece of jewelry they can wear on the wedding day, or even offer to pay for travel accomodations. Perhaps you’ll spend a little bit more on your maid of honor. Whatever you decide to give, be sure to include a handwritten note thanking your bridesmaid for being a part of your big day.

What are you planning on giving your bridesmaids?

Seriously, wedding planning is a one woman endeavor. If you’re lucky, you have a supportive BM or maybe a supportive Mom who helps you along the way, but it seems that you cannot, should not and will not be able to rely on the groom to plan anything.

Why is that? Men possess the ability to plan - that is not the question. Men hold down jobs, research flat screen TVs, IPODs, fancy bicycles, even BBQ grills on the Internet but inevitably they REFUSE to help you with any of the WEDDING planning.

Let’s take a moment to redefine help in the context of wedding planning. HELP does not mean: i) driving you to see vendors; ii) putting away your wedding magazines; iii) nodding his head, mmHmm-ing or any other non-active affirmative response; iv) interjecting uneducated opinions about issues already researched and resolved OR v) planning his own bachelor party.

HELP means starting AND finishing ANY particular aspect of the wedding. Grooms shouldn’t be like that temp admin assistant who comes to the office Tuesday and Thursday mornings to open mail and change the printer toner. I think it boils down to the simple fact that Grooms do not care about the details of wedding planning. If it were up to them, everyone would get married at City Hall and then head to the nearest Hooters for wings.

It is SO frustrating to be the single proprietor of a wedding that involves two people. So frustrating to be the only timekeeper, the only one hitting the Internet before, during and after work. Is this a bad day? Yes. Am I talking about Mr. Spider? Yes. Do I still love him and want to marry him and spend the rest of my life getting frustrated with him? Yes. Yes. Yes.

Feel free to share your own stories (or the stories of others)~!

Paul McCartney and Heather Mills recently announced that they were getting divorced after 4 years of marriage. Paul is worth 1.5 billion so everyone is abuzz because there was no prenup in place - Heather could stand to get between $350 - $750 million of his vast fortune. But McCartney has gallantly stated in her defense,

It’s been suggested that she married me for the money and there is not an ounce of truth in this. She is a very generous person who spends most of her time trying to help others in greater need than herself. All the work she does is unpaid, so these stories are ridiculous and completely unfounded. I’m very sad to see that some insensitive people would choose a moment like this to spread these vicious rumors.

Heather Mills even offered to sign a prenup before they were married, but Paul McCartney refused.

Turq Bridal offers affordable crystal and pearl bridesmaids necklaces that your bridesmaids will definitely want to wear again after the wedding.

You receive a free jewelry bag - that can be monogrammed for an additional $10 - with each necklace purchase. Discounts apply if you buy 3 or more necklaces at a time.

On Sunday, June 4 Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway aka The Wedding Goddess is conducting her annual “Blessing of the Brides and Grooms” in Central Park.

…to BLESS and DE-STRESS you and give you a chance to reconnect to the joy and the sacredness of your upcoming wedding… This is a ceremony before the ceremony, to help brides and grooms feel more relaxed, centered and confident … show you how to visualize the wedding going your way … and to empower you to start your marriage off on the right foot.

WHO: Officiated by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway and Rev. Vic Fuhrman

WHAT: The Annual Blessing of the Brides and Grooms

WHERE: Central Park Conservatory Gardens, 5th Ave at 105th Street, in the “Secret Garden” also know as the South Garden,

WHEN: Sunday, June 4th 2006, 4 PM

WHY: To bring blessings and lightness to couples of all backgrounds

HOW to attend: PLEASE RSVP to RevLaurieSue@aol.com

Bridesmaids gifts have been my plague of late — along with the fee simple defeasible — keeping me up at night, fueling nightmares about inadequacy and angry women in silk dupioni. What would be appropriate? What would be expected? What would they actually LIKE?

The last time I was a bridesmaid, I was forced to wear a fuschia chiffon dress (100% polyester) with gold shoes. Did I mention the dress had a bustle? And ruching all the way down the front. It was also off the shoulder with little ruffly bands. Oh, and it had a side slit cut so high that it SHOWED MY UNDERWEAR. In Church! No lie. My gift from the bride? Fuschia dangle earrings. Which would have been lovely, except I couldn’t wear earrings at the time since my ears weren’t pierced.

Don’t worry — we’re still friends. With this in mind, I wanted to make sure all my bridesmaids had gifts from me that they were actually physically equipped to wear. But, I also wanted something that was not so terribly practical. I wanted something beautiful, and maybe a little frivolous.

Enter Bonbon Oiseau — treasure house of all things delightful. I’ve been a fan of Bonbon Oiseau jewelry for a while, and I was hoping to outfit my ‘maids with something lovely. I met with Deb Stein, the mastermind behind Bonbon, at her Brooklyn studio to discuss options.

I told her exactly-ish what I wanted. She pulled out ribbons and charms and feathers. And a miracle occurred. I had found the perfect bridesmaids’ gifts.

We decided on feathered hair ornaments that would incorporate pieces of jewelry that could be worn later. The little gem above gives you the general idea. On my pieces, the chains will actually be detachable bracelets with charms that match the personalities of the girls. I think they’re glorious.

Deb is also glorious. She’s brilliantly creative; loves to work with brides; and is really, really good with budgets. Her pieces have also popped up in Martha Stewart Weddings. How can you go wrong?

Nothing makes you start counting and SAVING nickels and dimes more than planning a wedding. All of a sudden those quarters under the couch cushions no longer look like rusty, dusty old pieces of metals but pretty favors, rounded edge RSVP cards and pearl embellishments on your bouquet. Indeed, for couples like Mr. Spider and I who are financing the wedding ourselves, NOTHING can be purchased, ordered or even bookmarked under Favorites without a complete session of hardcore comparison shopping.

Being a DIY couple, we decided long ago that we would make our own invitations - we had imagined long nights of cutting, scoring, designing, printing, pasting and assembling - then we learned about Thermography and Engraving and Letterpress (Terms Defined) none of which can be imitated with your household printer. So as a comprise, we have decided to order our invitations printed but pre-assembled. My perusal of wedding blogs and forums have led me to two final sources: Paper Presentation and MyGatsby.com.

Ordering wedding invitations is very, very, very complicated . You gotta think about quality, quantity, colors, size and of course $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$. One thing we or I know for sure, I want the ubiquitous pocket fold invitation in brown metallic card stock.

Paper Presentation: $12.90 per pack of 10 when you order 10+ packs = $1.29 per invitation.

MyGatsby.com: $270 for 150 invitations = $1.80 per invitation (plus shipping)

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that Paper Presentation is the way to go. The thing is MyGatsby.com prints your stuff for you and we quite like Thermography so what does this mean? Price comparison for each and every part of the invitation literally down to the ink. I think I will pick up all the unprinted parts at Paper Presentation and order all the printed parts from MyGatsby.com. That way, we still get to assemble everything and satisfy our DIY addiction.

Any words of advice? Or better yet, do you know of a better deal?

Rothmans in Union Square is holding their semi-annual sale through June 6th. Save on men’s suits from brands such as Hugo Boss, Joseph Abboud, Calvin Klein, Ralph Lauren, Burberry and more.

Rothmans carries a great selection of men’s suits, tuxedos, and ties for your wedding - you should definitely check it out if you haven’t already purchased your groom’s suit.

Just in the year 2006 so far, I know of 4 engagements, 3 weddings, 1 pregnancy with twins, at least 1 more pregnancy planned for this year, and the list just keeps growing (and this EXCLUDES all weddingbee brides). Oh my, I suddenly feel like an adult.

At the wedding I attended this weekend, almost all the women were married, engaged, or a younger relative (under 22). There were only a couple of women who were single. When we got back to the hotel room, I thanked Mr. Butterfly for proposing before we had to attend this wedding - otherwise, I would have felt very left out, since I didn’t really know anyone there. However, I got along great with all of the engaged brides, since we belong to the engaged-and-going-crazy-with-wedding-planning club.

I know it’s because I’m in the appropriate “age bracket” for this stuff, but doesn’t it seem like everyone is getting engaged, getting married or getting pregnant? (and divorced?)

Its a whirlwind of celebrations!!!

How many engagements, weddings and pregnancies are happening around you?

I recently moved down the street from one of the city’s many Housing Works thrift stores. I love shopping at thrift stores because I can find great deals on vintage and designer clothing, handbags, home goods and so much more.

Yesterday I popped into Housing Works, as I regularly do, because merchandise changes daily so you never know what you’ll find. I ended up buying 3 dresses - a pink Laundry dress I’ll wear to the next wedding I attend, a Pucci inspired number that’s perfect for a party, and a Juicy Couture tshirt dress. Plus a super cool vintage purse - all for only $160.

I’ve found some awesome clothes and purses at thrift stores and consignment shops throughout New York. These are my favorite places to check out:

Housing Works
City Opera Thrift Shop
Angel Street Thrift Shop
Fisch for the Hip (consignment shop)
Ina (consignment shop)
Century 21 (discount designer goods)

Mr. Bee and I have been invited to 7 weddings this year - 3 down, 4 to go. That means I need several new dresses.

If you’re on a budget, like to find a great deal, or love vintage/one-of-a-kind dresses - the stores listed above are great places to look. Now I have to start scoping out stores that specialize in vintage clothing…

fallingup - A Chicago wedding with an amazing budget of under $7000.

MrsPresley - A Hawaiian affair.

ATRNY2B - Pink and black themed North Dakota wedding.

alh1475 - A Knot real wedding!

The wedding I went to this weekend had both a wedding cake and a groom’s cake at the reception. It was surprising how many people hadn’t heard of a groom’s cake. Mostly the people who were confused were men, but a lot of girls hadn’t heard of them either.

I think having a groom’s cake is a very nice tradition. I would probably serve the groom’s cake at the rehearsal dinner, separate from the wedding cake. Though I would have no idea what the shape would be for Mr. Butterfly - he’s not a die hard sports fan.

There have been many blogs written on Weddingbee regarding the topic of slippers or flip flops. It’s become an increasingly popular idea to provide a basket of slippers for your female guests, because we all know how tired our feet can get after hours of dancing in heels. I can attest to this because I danced the night away this past weekend in 4″ heels.

I was drunk enough not to notice the pain until the next day (thank god!) but this weekend has definitely made up my mind about providing slippers for your guests. I am definitely going to do it - even if only my close girlfriends use it, it will be well worth it. In fact, I’m even going to make sure that my MOH and BM have slippers that match their dresses, so that we can feel comfy and stylish.

Otherwise, we will end up like this!!

Everyone’s bare feet, including the bride!!

My parents were visiting this past weekend, so it gave Mr. Bee and I a chance to do the touristy things we normally wouldn’t. They wanted to check out Central Park so I decided to take them to Bethesda Terrace - the heart of Central Park and one of the most popular places to take wedding pictures.

We entered through the 72nd street and Central Park West entrance and passed through Strawberry Fields - named after John Lennon’s song because this was his favorite part of the park.

This “Imagine” mosiac always has flowers on it and tons of visitors standing around it.

I’d never been to Bethesda Terrace myself, and I wanted to scope it out since we’re planning on taking “engagement pictures” this fall in Central Park. The Central Park Boathouse is just across the pond pictured below. Getting married there would give you access to some of the prettiest post-ceremony picture locations.

The archway pictured under the bridge was closed off with a gate that day. Too bad - it’s one of the prettiest places to take pictures.

(image via: centralparknyc)

The walk through Central Park was so nice. It’s an oasis in the middle of the busy city.

Afterwards we walked over to Rockefeller Center. Flags of the world that are usually displayed were replaced with American flags in honor of Memorial Day.

Then up to Top of the Rock for a 360 degree view of the city. The day was pretty hazy, but wedding pictures up here would be spectacular on a clear day. Plus there is no wait to get up here - unlike the Empire State Building (pictured center).

View of Central Park.

There are so many great places to take pictures in New York whether you want a backdrop of nature or the city.

I went to a wedding this weekend in Virginia, near DC. It was a small wedding - between 85 to 95 people I think. The bride chose lavender and green as her colors, and it was perfect for a wedding in May. This weekend’s weather was a little iffy (some rain, then really hot), but all in all, everything went really well.

Here are some pictures!!

Sweetheart table for the couple.

One of the main centerpieces for the room.

Centerpieces for the table - see how the flowers are submerged in water with a candle on top? I loved this idea!!

More pics to come!