Weddingbee

Brides often stress about what they should give their bridemaids, so I thought I’d share what Mr. Bee and I gave to our wedding party - perhaps it’ll give you some ideas.

• 1 groomsman got a cigar club membership
• 1 groomsman got a wine club membership
• Maid of honor and 1 bridesmaid each got an ipod shuffle and an itunes gift card
• 1 bridesmaid got a ton of makeup from MAC (my moh is a make-up artist so she gets 40% off ;))
• Male usher, male giftbook attendant, 2 wedding planners, photographer all received a nice bottle of bordeaux
• Female giftbook attendant received a limited edition cleansing oil from Shu Uemura

You might choose to make something meaningful like a photo album, or maybe buy a piece of jewelry they can wear on the wedding day, or even offer to pay for travel accomodations. Perhaps you’ll spend a little bit more on your maid of honor. Whatever you decide to give, be sure to include a handwritten note thanking your bridesmaid for being a part of your big day.

What are you planning on giving your bridesmaids?

Seriously, wedding planning is a one woman endeavor. If you’re lucky, you have a supportive BM or maybe a supportive Mom who helps you along the way, but it seems that you cannot, should not and will not be able to rely on the groom to plan anything.

Why is that? Men possess the ability to plan - that is not the question. Men hold down jobs, research flat screen TVs, IPODs, fancy bicycles, even BBQ grills on the Internet but inevitably they REFUSE to help you with any of the WEDDING planning.

Let’s take a moment to redefine help in the context of wedding planning. HELP does not mean: i) driving you to see vendors; ii) putting away your wedding magazines; iii) nodding his head, mmHmm-ing or any other non-active affirmative response; iv) interjecting uneducated opinions about issues already researched and resolved OR v) planning his own bachelor party.

HELP means starting AND finishing ANY particular aspect of the wedding. Grooms shouldn’t be like that temp admin assistant who comes to the office Tuesday and Thursday mornings to open mail and change the printer toner. I think it boils down to the simple fact that Grooms do not care about the details of wedding planning. If it were up to them, everyone would get married at City Hall and then head to the nearest Hooters for wings.

It is SO frustrating to be the single proprietor of a wedding that involves two people. So frustrating to be the only timekeeper, the only one hitting the Internet before, during and after work. Is this a bad day? Yes. Am I talking about Mr. Spider? Yes. Do I still love him and want to marry him and spend the rest of my life getting frustrated with him? Yes. Yes. Yes.

Feel free to share your own stories (or the stories of others)~!

Paul McCartney and Heather Mills recently announced that they were getting divorced after 4 years of marriage. Paul is worth 1.5 billion so everyone is abuzz because there was no prenup in place - Heather could stand to get between $350 - $750 million of his vast fortune. But McCartney has gallantly stated in her defense,

It’s been suggested that she married me for the money and there is not an ounce of truth in this. She is a very generous person who spends most of her time trying to help others in greater need than herself. All the work she does is unpaid, so these stories are ridiculous and completely unfounded. I’m very sad to see that some insensitive people would choose a moment like this to spread these vicious rumors.

Heather Mills even offered to sign a prenup before they were married, but Paul McCartney refused.

Turq Bridal offers affordable crystal and pearl bridesmaids necklaces that your bridesmaids will definitely want to wear again after the wedding.

You receive a free jewelry bag - that can be monogrammed for an additional $10 - with each necklace purchase. Discounts apply if you buy 3 or more necklaces at a time.

On Sunday, June 4 Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway aka The Wedding Goddess is conducting her annual “Blessing of the Brides and Grooms” in Central Park.

…to BLESS and DE-STRESS you and give you a chance to reconnect to the joy and the sacredness of your upcoming wedding… This is a ceremony before the ceremony, to help brides and grooms feel more relaxed, centered and confident … show you how to visualize the wedding going your way … and to empower you to start your marriage off on the right foot.

WHO: Officiated by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway and Rev. Vic Fuhrman

WHAT: The Annual Blessing of the Brides and Grooms

WHERE: Central Park Conservatory Gardens, 5th Ave at 105th Street, in the “Secret Garden” also know as the South Garden,

WHEN: Sunday, June 4th 2006, 4 PM

WHY: To bring blessings and lightness to couples of all backgrounds

HOW to attend: PLEASE RSVP to RevLaurieSue@aol.com

Bridesmaids gifts have been my plague of late — along with the fee simple defeasible — keeping me up at night, fueling nightmares about inadequacy and angry women in silk dupioni. What would be appropriate? What would be expected? What would they actually LIKE?

The last time I was a bridesmaid, I was forced to wear a fuschia chiffon dress (100% polyester) with gold shoes. Did I mention the dress had a bustle? And ruching all the way down the front. It was also off the shoulder with little ruffly bands. Oh, and it had a side slit cut so high that it SHOWED MY UNDERWEAR. In Church! No lie. My gift from the bride? Fuschia dangle earrings. Which would have been lovely, except I couldn’t wear earrings at the time since my ears weren’t pierced.

Don’t worry — we’re still friends. With this in mind, I wanted to make sure all my bridesmaids had gifts from me that they were actually physically equipped to wear. But, I also wanted something that was not so terribly practical. I wanted something beautiful, and maybe a little frivolous.

Enter Bonbon Oiseau — treasure house of all things delightful. I’ve been a fan of Bonbon Oiseau jewelry for a while, and I was hoping to outfit my ‘maids with something lovely. I met with Deb Stein, the mastermind behind Bonbon, at her Brooklyn studio to discuss options.

I told her exactly-ish what I wanted. She pulled out ribbons and charms and feathers. And a miracle occurred. I had found the perfect bridesmaids’ gifts.

We decided on feathered hair ornaments that would incorporate pieces of jewelry that could be worn later. The little gem above gives you the general idea. On my pieces, the chains will actually be detachable bracelets with charms that match the personalities of the girls. I think they’re glorious.

Deb is also glorious. She’s brilliantly creative; loves to work with brides; and is really, really good with budgets. Her pieces have also popped up in Martha Stewart Weddings. How can you go wrong?

Nothing makes you start counting and SAVING nickels and dimes more than planning a wedding. All of a sudden those quarters under the couch cushions no longer look like rusty, dusty old pieces of metals but pretty favors, rounded edge RSVP cards and pearl embellishments on your bouquet. Indeed, for couples like Mr. Spider and I who are financing the wedding ourselves, NOTHING can be purchased, ordered or even bookmarked under Favorites without a complete session of hardcore comparison shopping.

Being a DIY couple, we decided long ago that we would make our own invitations - we had imagined long nights of cutting, scoring, designing, printing, pasting and assembling - then we learned about Thermography and Engraving and Letterpress (Terms Defined) none of which can be imitated with your household printer. So as a comprise, we have decided to order our invitations printed but pre-assembled. My perusal of wedding blogs and forums have led me to two final sources: Paper Presentation and MyGatsby.com.

Ordering wedding invitations is very, very, very complicated . You gotta think about quality, quantity, colors, size and of course $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$. One thing we or I know for sure, I want the ubiquitous pocket fold invitation in brown metallic card stock.

Paper Presentation: $12.90 per pack of 10 when you order 10+ packs = $1.29 per invitation.

MyGatsby.com: $270 for 150 invitations = $1.80 per invitation (plus shipping)

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that Paper Presentation is the way to go. The thing is MyGatsby.com prints your stuff for you and we quite like Thermography so what does this mean? Price comparison for each and every part of the invitation literally down to the ink. I think I will pick up all the unprinted parts at Paper Presentation and order all the printed parts from MyGatsby.com. That way, we still get to assemble everything and satisfy our DIY addiction.

Any words of advice? Or better yet, do you know of a better deal?