Weddingbee Blog

Hello from Mr. Bee. Mrs. Bee and I were at a party recently, and got to talking to some friends about gender roles.

In some ways, our marriage is very traditional: for example, Mrs. Bee cooks dinner, and I take out the trash. But in other ways, our marriage is modern too. I didn’t want Mrs. Bee to change her name, and she’s starting a business (weddingbee!).

But I think the most interesting gender question of all came from President Bush. He recently said he wasn’t going to fire Secretary Rumsfeld, emphasizing that, “I’m the decider, and I decide what’s best”. According to the New York Times:

The president … unwittingly added to the lexicon of marital relations.

Anita Willoughby and Jeffrey Naiditch were just polishing off their papaya mousse cake at a dinner party in Lower Manhattan last Sunday night when Mr. Naiditch decided it was time to go home. His wife was not quite ready to leave.

“He said, ‘I am the decider, I get to say,’ ” Ms. Willoughby said. The small group dissolved into laughter, and a bit of nervous chatter.

I think that’s the most interesting gender question of all. I think that Mrs. Bee likes to be the Decider. But if I let her decide everything, I don’t think she’d like that either. We sorta balance it out, so that we each Decide on the things that are most important to each of us.

In your relationship, who is the Decider?