Wedding Blog

Beth asks:

My mother (who is overzealous in her planning but means well) has posted a couple questions on wedding message boards and has had her head chewed off. That’s really turned me off, even though there are probably great friends and ideas to be had. What’s the best way to approach the boards? Are some boards better/nicer than others?

I wrote earlier about how I had a bad initial experience with wedding messageboards. But I must admit that messageboards were definitely one of the most valuable resources when I was planning my wedding.

Brides in general are very helpful and you share an instant sort of camaraderie with them. I’ve met some amazingly kind and helpful brides on messageboards. They talk about things on there that you’d never read in wedding magazines. They post ideas, projects, pictures, problems/advice, and just by reading through all that information - you really learn a lot.

That being said, I think it can be hard to join a board as a newbie They’re usually a community where everyone knows each other. The more you post, the better. Because of that, it can also be very clique-y. Some brides can also be very snarky. Lately moderators have become more proactive and started deleting such posts, but it’s a sticky situation because post deletion can seem arbitrary.

It really is a shame when you come across those few people who turn you off to messageboards. But I’d suggest giving them another try because they really are an invaluable resource.

Here are some helpful hints when joining a board:

1) Introduce yourself as a new member to the messageboard. The other brides will generally be very nice. Hopefully that’ll help you feel welcome and encourage you to post.

2) Read through the messageboard so you get an idea of how and what people post about. Some brides get annoyed when newbies post questions that have been asked time and time again - they tell the bride to go back and read all old posts before posting any questions. (I suppose this might be a fair point, but I can’t fault the excited new bride-to-be - I’ve been there myself. :P)

3) Participate and reciprocate. Don’t just ask for help, help out other brides too. Most messageboards show the date you joined and how many posts you’ve written, so they know if you’re a lurker or a helper.

Messageboards to visit:

• theknot
• weddingchannel
• liweddings
• ultimatewedding
• pricescope
• chinabridal (for Chinese brides)

What has your experience been like with wedding messageboards? Which are your favorites?