For the last month and a half I have been playing a one-sided game of phone tag with my caterer.
It goes something like this:
Me: Hi Caterer! It’s Miss Caterpillar I just want to check in and talk about the menu.
Caterer:
Next Week
Me: Hi Caterer! It’s Miss Caterpillar I just want to check in and talk about the menu. Do we need to make some decisions on rentals soon?
Caterer:
Next Week
Me: Hi Caterer! It’s Miss Caterpillar I just want to check in and talk about . . . oh, you know . . . the menu and the rentals.
Caterer:
Next Week
Me: Hi Caterer! It’s Miss Caterpillar I just want to check in and talk about the tents. Just the tents! That’s all, the tents. Real easy like.
Caterer:
Next Week
Me: Hello? Caterer? Hello?
Caterer:
Imagine this goes on for 6 weeks.
Last week, I got an actual voicemail from Caterer informing me that I always tend to call her on Fridays, and Fridays are so busy for her, so she just can’t get back to me. So, I should try to call her when she’s not so busy.
I am going to eat her.
What?! How am I supposed to know when she’s busy? Do I use my cross-country periscope to make sure she’s not making crudites on Friday afternoon? Why can’t she call ME when she has the time? Did I not give this woman a billion dollars and the private school education of my first born just to finance some chicken skewers and a tent?
ARGH!
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