Weddingbee Blog

I’m getting ready to go to a destination wedding in a month. What is the etiquette for purchasing a gift? Is it the same as a regular wedding, to cover the cost of your food (and is this true)? Being newlyweds, we’re in a budget crunch and we’re not sure what to do. Don’t get me wrong, we will take a gift… but how much should we spend?

~~~

As destination weddings become more popular, I’ve found that many couples request that their guests don’t bring any gift at all to offset travelling costs. I think this is a very kind gesture that all couples having destination weddings should consider.

As far as the “cover the cost of your food” rule, a recent New York Times article on high wedding costs stated:

Peggy Post… outright debunked “the old myth” about giving a wedding gift that is the equivalent of what the couple spent on you for the reception. “It’s about how well you know the couple and their families - and what you can afford,” she said.

THIS is especially true… when it comes to deciding what your budget will bear when you are invited to a destination wedding.

Your first step should be to find out if the couple has registered. If they have, feel free to choose one of the smaller items off the registry. If they don’t expect any gifts but you feel bad going empty-handed, you might want to give them something small like a picture frame, scrapbook, or an anniversary book. Make sure you have any gifts shipped to their home so they don’t have to carry it back to the States.

In the end, I’m sure the most important thing to your friends will be your presence at their wedding.

Hope this helps and good luck!

For more on wedding guest etiquette, check out theknot’s new guest guide.