Weddingbee Blog

Well, I am not married but this is a tough decision since I am a grade school teacher. I usually go by Miss. because it is cute and fun and the kids like it. For my older kids, I let them call me Madame! But now that I am almost married, I want to take my husband’s name, but I dont want to loose stability.

So maybe you can answer this because now I am curious… do you plan on changing your last name in your place of work or will you keep your madien name to avoid confusion?

Personally, i’ve always associated Ms. with women who are either Lesbians and therefore unable to marry, those who have been divorced but keep the married name, and those who otherwise don’t really fit into either Miss or Misses. So for me, I always go by Miss. However, now that I’m getting Married I will surely move right to Mrs. even if my name isn’t officially changed right away.

Technically, Mr. is the same abreviation for two titles. Mister and Master. Master being unmarried. Mister Married.

I am 23, definately able to marry, heterosexual, a strong believer in “till death to us part”, and I proudly rock to the title of “Ms.”

i went to Smith, a women’s college, and being that the founder of Ms. magazine, Gloria Steinem, is an alum, the term Ms. came naturally to us. even when i was student teaching at the college’s lab school, we were all referred to as Ms. and contrary to popular belief, not all of us are lesbians. it was a title that i used regularly and happily.

i am now married and also a school teacher, and while changing my name was rather annoying with going through all the paperwork, etc, it was really exciting for my first graders and fellow colleagues. since i am regularly referred to as “mrs” at school, it kind of made the change real and much easier to adjust to, and made the change real to my kids, too.

I’ve always used Ms. and it has nothing to do with being a lesbian or a feminist. If you were asked your marital status on all of the webpages and forms that ask you to choose a title, you would think it’s rude. So, I choose the ambiguous title.

I’ll be getting married in about a year and I never felt it necessary to use the title “Ms.” I never was a fan of political correctness…it never changes the raw facts. You’re married or you’re not, you’re gay or straight, etc. Titles don’t change it. I’m excited to be united with my husband in every way, including my title. I feel no need to allow my status to be ambiguous, and I want people to know that I’m married. It certainly makes for less opportunities for misunderstandings and lack of clarity. Using the title “Mrs.” also communicates to my husband that I am proud to be his. There’s my two cents… =-)

Neither my fiance nor I are lesbians. But we are both feminists. I use “Ms.” now and will continue to do so after I’m married. I will also be keeping my name. I don’t use the title to “change” anything. I just prefer one title for men and one for women.

Also, as an attorney, “Ms.” is more professional sounding than either “Miss” or “Mrs.” Practically, no one wants to hash out whether you’re married or not before sending you anything. Just my thoughts.

(I like that one company allows you to pick your title on a catalog request form from the usual “Miss,” “Mrs.” and so on to “Princess,” “Earl” and the like. I think I went with “Duchess.” Heehee. Er, and if it wasn’t clear, I’m not a Duchess.)

The company is Boden (http://www.boden.co.uk/catreq.asp). The noble titles might be because Boden is based in the UK. But then again, you can also choose “Squadron Leader” and “Field Marshal Lord” so could just be that they’re quirky. (Come to think of it, I might have dubbed myself a “Brigadier.”)

And I agree that having different names doesn’t mean anything about the quality of your partnership. Of course, here in the Bay Area, no one would blink twice about it.

I’m divorced and remarrying, but kept my maiden name, many of my close friends are homosexual (and I don’t care what the law says, if they had a ceremony I refer to them as married- marriage takes place in your heart not on a sheet of paper) and I filled out my voter’s form as “rabid feminist” party so I could say, “Yes, it just so happens that I am a registered rabid feminist.” FI and I are adding each other’s names to our own. So we’ll have the same name(s). And yes, he’ll be Mr and I’ll be a Ms if we need a title at all. FI knows I love him and respect him for the things we do and the way we are, and vice versa. I sometimes wonder if with all the wedding this and wife that I’m trying to prove something I already know to be true: we’re best friends with a lasting commitment and beautiful relationship.
Twistie- My dad had a colleage who was very proud of his Phd and insisted that everyone, even in casual conversation, call him Dr. Smith. My dad, who like most people in the office had an MA, said that was fine with him as long as Dr. Smith called him Master Jones. Who knew that was correct anyway?

Whhewwww! Sorry this is so long!

I am newly married and prefer to use Ms rather than Mrs as I’m 25 yrs old and think Mrs sounds too old!! Also by using Ms people are unsure whether your married or not and its not anyones business. I’d like to say that I’ve taken my husbands name and am proud to.