Wedding Blog
Because wedding season is upon us, I thought this would be a good time to discuss how to be a great wedding guest. When you’re invited to a wedding, the couple has asked you to be part of a day they’ve put so much time, love, and effort into planning. Observing some basic wedding guest etiquette can make the big day just a little bit easier for the bride and groom.
1) RSVP. The bride and groom are usually paying per person (often hundreds of dollars) so they need to have an accurate headcount of all guests. If your plans change and you can no longer attend, or have RSVP’d for a guest who can no longer attend, notify the couple.
2) Send gifts to the couple’s home. This way the couple doesn’t have to worry about collecting, watching, losing, cards separating and taking gifts home on an already hectic day.
3) Don’t bring anyone who is not named on the invitation. Do not bring a date or children that are not specifically named on the invitation, and do not write in names on the RSVP card. The couple has put a lot of thought into who they’re inviting, they’re paying per person, and have probably created seating arrangements for each individual guest.
4) Show up on time. This seems like a no-brainer, but I don’t think I’ve ever attended a wedding that started on the actual time indicated on the invitation, due to late guest arrivals. A wedding is a carefully orchestrated once-in-a-lifetime event… so please be on time.
Now that you’re a great guest, it’s time to enjoy the celebration and share the day with the happy couple. 
What else would you add to this list?
|
Share this post: Wedding Guest 101
If you take any pictures (especially digital) send them to the bride and groom after the wedding.
Understand that if it is a BIG wedding that though the bride and groom might not get a chance to stop by and talk to you they are happy that you are there to celebrate with them.
Don’t skip the ceremony and just show up for the free food and booze at the reception. If the couple thinks enough of you to invite you to their special day you should appreciate that.
Turn off your cell phone during the ceremony.
Attend the ceremony not just the reception.
Remember that the bride and groom are not there to answer every single question that you have about the wedding. Seek out a bridesmaid, groomsman, or wedding coordinator if you need anything before or during the wedding!
If you can’t be happy for the bride and groom, don’t show up.
When my brother got married, my SIL’s parents were the biggest pains in the butt I’ve ever seen. Daddy didn’t give them a dime but kept making insane demands about how the wedding had to be handled if he was going to be expected to attend. My brother and his bride compromised on a lot of things they wanted simply to please this jerkwad…and then he didn’t bother to show on the big day! Her mother, OTOH, did come but I really wish she hadn’t. She wore a white, lacy dress and frowned in every single photograph. On top of that, she spent every second she could get with the bride (her daughter, mind you!) what a disappointment everything was and how much better things could have been if only she wasn’t such a screw-up.
Hmmm…everyone else had a great time at a lovely wedding. The only think that screwed it up for us was the way the MOB kept making the bride cry unhappy tears instead of happy ones. Luckily a couple friends started running interference and keeping the bride and her mother apart from pretty early in the proceedings.
i agree with the first comment. do NOT wear anything trashy, white, off-white, cream, etc etc etc.
What a horror story Twistie! I feel so sorry for the bride & groom.
I would add to the list… Don’t get too drunk. You should have a great time, but nobody likes a loud and obnoxious, shit-faced-drunk, falling-all-over-the-place guest.
I think I’d add that if the kids are invited, you still need to keep an eye on them. If a sitter is provider, that’s great. But if the child has a meltdown during the ceremony, for example, they may need to be swiftly relocated.
Er, provided, is what I meant.
Try to purchase a gift that’s returnable. Even if it’s something you know the couple will love, you never can tell -
The day after a friend of mine got married, her family hosted a small brunch and she and her husband opened gifts. They received no fewer than 8 large serving bowls. All the bowls were different and beautiful, and they loved every one, even thought none were on their registry. But there was no way they could use so many bowls, so some had to go back.
To add to what toad said, if kids are NOT listed on the invite, they are NOT invited!
Don’t get upset if you or your spouse or your kids are not asked to be in the wedding. It’s not about YOU. It’s about the bride and groom. If you have to nag to get any of the aforementioned people into the wedding, then clearly the bride or groom has chosen other people.
also, if your children are not picked to be flower girls, do NOT retaliate by showing up with your little girls in very obvious flower girl dresses
finally, do not take it upon yourself to videotape the wedding if you have not been asked…or at least if you insist, do NOT block the bride and groom’s expensive photographers so they can’t get a decent shot
do I sound bitter?? =)
What everyone above said is great, I’d just like to add:
Be appreciative! Chances are that the bride and groom, MOB, wedding planner, whoever, worked very hard and invested a lot of money into the affair. Be respectful of that and don’t forget to let them know that you appreciate their thoughtfulness and attention to detail! Though we are honored if they attend the wedding, they should be appreciative that they were asked to share in such a special day.
And twistie, what a horrible story! That MOB sounds like a nightmare!
| Visit our sister sites | Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Fertile Thoughts Infertility Support |
Mrs. Bee, New York
Age and Occupation: 29, Weddingbee Publisher
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 33, Internet
Engagement Date: May 7, 2004
Wedding Date: March 5, 2005
Venue: Westside Loft, New York
About Me: Yes, my name really is Bee! I love my blogging, wikis, and tabasco sauce!
| Sun | Mon | Tue | Wed | Thu | Fri | Sat |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 |
| 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 |
| 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 |
| 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 |
| 29 | 30 |
Latest Gallery Pics