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I’ve got quite a few weddings coming up. Some are good friends, some are not, some have registries, some don’t. I have a general question that I hope can be answered:
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I presume you’re referring to the “cover your plate” theory when it comes to determining “how much,” but there is no general rule when it comes to giving cash as a gift. How much to give once again depends on what you feel comfortable giving, and how close you are to the couple.
When gifting cash, I would give just as much I’d typically spend on a traditional wedding gift. If you’d like a general guideline, I’d think anywhere between $50-$150 would be a safe bet. But honestly your presence - not the amount of your gift - is what will be appreciated most. 
When giving cash as a gift, are you likely to spend more or less than you would on a traditional gift? Do you abide by any general rules when gifting cash?
I think that when I get a cash gift I expect that people are probably going to give at least 15 dollars for the poor college student friends. For the older stable adults I would say the normal amounts are 50 or 100 but I would be surprised to see anything less than 25.
Of course I totally understand being a poor college student so anyone in that category their presence is all I care about. And even 5 dollars will be greatly appretiated.
I usually give cash because I know people usually don’t want what’s on their registry and I just feel weird picking up silver ware, couple dishes, and blenders trying to add it up to a significant total. Most of our friends are no longer in college so it’s usually understood to at least pay for you and your date’s plate. My bf and I have $150 to one couple (because I didn’t know the couple), $200 to another couple (also because they are very cheap themselves and we didn’t like the bride- i know, we’re mean), and we plan on giving $300 + sentimental gifts to our bestfriends, also since we’re in the wedding party.
Daag–have I been doing this wrong all along? I usually get something off the registry AND give around $100 in an envelope at the actual reception.
I think in NY, it’s pretty standard to give no less than $100pp. So minimum of $200 per couple. I personally think a gift of $50 at a wedding in this area would be very low. That’s more what people spend on a shower gift.
In NYC and its surrounds, I go by the at least $150 per person rule. It’s high but hey, so are wedding costs around here and I subscribe to the “plate” theory.
wow, it seems that most people here don’t actually want the gifts from their registries. Am I wierd to NEED and want most of that stuff? Sure there are things I’d buy cheeper. Actually, I wish people were buying that stuff instead of just sending us money. I have the feeling the money is just goign to pay for rent when we really need the pots and pans and bedsheets and dishes.
But then, I guess we are doing this the “old fashioned/proper” way. …not living together for 5 years first with everything we need.
Actually I prefer gift cards to cash. We definitely needed things off our registry but didn’t have room for everything all at once in our small apt. So buying everything at your pace with giftcards is awesome. With cash, you spend it on who knows what and poof it’s gone. In fact I have no idea what we spent the cash we received on. 
I like when I use something we received off our registry and think about that person. 
I actually think $50 is too low an amount…especially if you’re a working professional. Most people spend more than that even for birthday gifts. $100 should be the absolute minimum these days I think.
Do people really expect that every person will give $100? I don’t think that’s realistic — at least in the Midwest. $100-200 is reserved for family and close friends, I feel. If I am invited to a co-worker’s wedding or someone on that level, I will probably spend $40-50. I don’t see that the type of spending the party host chose affects the spending that I choose. The party is still a party — something thrown that guests can enjoy and is really a gift to friends and family. The gift is a token of celebration for the people, and that is independent of how much the steak or chicken costs.
Wow–$100+ would be lovely, but I agree with linnybride—that’s a LOT here in the midwest, and frankly I’d feel rather awkward getting that much from most people.
I think cash gifts are great for people who have the money to spend on fun stuff, but for those of us in college who would feel guilty spending cash on anything besides rent and tuition, I think gifts from the registry are a lot better–they can be appreciated much longer, and even if they have to sit in the parents’ basement for a few months (till we get a bigger apartment) they’ll be more fun and thoughtful in the long run.
Of course, we have a “bare minimum” apartment going right now (just moved out of the dorms 6 months ago) but I still had trouble finding much to put on a registry!
Who is spending $50 on a friend’s birthday gift and how can I get on that list? I splurge on my parents and my boyfriend, but girlfriends usually get something in the $20-30 range — and I only give birthday gifts to a select group of 2-3 non-family people.
I suppose those silly Easterners are just wealthier and more popular than us midwesterners.
Also another thing to point out - In the NY area, particularly jewish weddings, you rarely get physical gifts for the wedding. It is mostly checks/cash.
Oftentimes the registry is used for engagement/shower gifts but not for wedding gifts - not saying that nobody gives physical gifts. Also, people that are unable to attend sometimes send registry gifts.
And yes, in NY 100-150 a person is considered normal and minimum (double for couples) - and we’re not talking the closest friends and family, those would be more like $200 a person and up.
And as the above person had said, NY weddings cost A LOT more than the rest of the country, but so does everything else here!
Although I understand how expensive weddings can get in the NYC area, do you still expect everyone to pay the “cover the plate” amount? Even your friends you know don’t have that kind of money?
I just wonder if that kind of gift giving deters people from attending?
Guys! guys! Look if you are worried about giving a memorable gift and worried about giving cash just give Gift Cards from like Sears or Bed and Bath or similar.
I also agree that at least in NY is customary to at least cover for your plate and the extra somthing on top of that is all a matter of generousity and how well I know the bride/groom. Which comes out to about $100 & up per person.
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Mrs. Bee, New York Age and Occupation: 29, Weddingbee Publisher Fiance's Age and Occupation: 33, Internet Engagement Date: May 7, 2004 Wedding Date: March 5, 2005 Venue: Westside Loft, New York About Me: Yes, my name really is Bee! I love my blogging, wikis, and tabasco sauce!
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