Weddingbee Blog

I always thought it was assumed that the bridesmaid purchase their own dress and accessories until bride tells them otherwise. But for mine I made sure to mention it while asking them to be my bridesmaids… “i’d like you to be my bridesmaid but it will require alot of money on your part, flying to my wedding, buying the dress, shoes, etc. so i understand if you can’t.” So I guess I’m not much of a help.

But my suggestion would be to talk to each of them seperately. Get a good feel for their financial situation and if just one of them can’t afford the dress then offer to pay for that dress secretly (and make sure they know not to tell the others!).

I have 4 bridesmaids (my younger cousin, my fiance’s cousin, our friend from high school, & my friend from business school) plus my MoH & Flower Girl. My problem is my business school bridesmaid is now looking for ways to get out of being in the wedding. When I asked her to be a part of it over a year ago she was so excited & happy. Since then, she’s been doing different things like: try to get me to change the bridesmaid dresses (that everyone else liked), scheduling a 2 week out of the country trip the day before the wedding, insisting I should just elope (to “save money” since I had hit a rough financial patch & so she wouldn’t have to wear the dress), telling me she’s going to change out of the bridesmaid dress @ the reception (we have a dais set-up, so everyone in the wedding party would be sitting with me & my Fi), & then 2 days ago she forgot what day the wedding was. She’s stressing me so much I don’t even feel like having her involved in the wedding anymore. And the worse part is that she doesn’t seem to think she’s doing anything wrong.

There is less than 3.5 months to go before the wedding. I have bent over backwards to not be a bridezilla & have scheduled fittings around everyone elses’ schedules. As of right now, I have 1 bridesmaid who still hasn’t been measured & my cousin & I are the only ones with dresses.

How would you handle a bridesmaid who’s providing more stress than helping? Do you think it’s “bad form” to kick her out of the wedding party? And how would you deal with potentially having to ask someone else to step in so late in the planning?

This for T, who’s having bridesmaid problems.

T, you mentioned that your Bschool friend doesn’t realize she’s doing anything wrong. So before doing anything as drastic as “kicking her out”, you should talk to her first! Even if she’s not very good at being a bm, above all she is your friend! So you guys should be able to talk this out.

You’re assuming that her strange behavior is due to not wanting to be involved with the wedding. Maybe it’s something else that’s bothering her. Anyway, don’t make assumptions!

Talk to your friend. =o) Maybe over coffee or dessert? Tell her you’re worried about her unusual behavior. Ask her if everything is okay. Ask her if she’s still up for being a bm. If she confesses that she’s not into it anymore.. tell her it’s okay! Even if she ends up not being a bm, she’s still your friend.

Bottom line- stop making assumptions. TALK TO YOUR FRIEND and work it out before going to drastic measures!