Weddingbee Blog

I kinda had a somewhat similar dilemna. I know that tradition says that whoever hosts (pays) gets a mention but my fiance and I are footing the majority of the bill. BUT - our parents have supported us emotionally, physically, and financially our whole lives so we decided to have both sets of parents in the invitation. I’m Korean, so it probably would have been considered rude to exclude both or either, don’t know for sure. I just did what I felt most comfortable with.

Go with whatever feels right for you.
I put our names, together with their parents… that stuff.
I think in today’s world, people expect to see both parents on invitations… because almost no one is having weddings entirely payed for by the bride’s family.

We included both sets of parents regardless of who technically was footing the bill or “hosting”. We wanted to reflect that we are sharing in this day with both of our parents and not giving a nod to the wedding’s financial backers : )

We simply worded our invites “together with their families” and omitted our parents’ names since it wasn’t a super formal affair and neither of our parents cared either way. i’ve actually heard of this same issue where the bride’s parents pay for the wedding. traditionally etiquette says that only the bride’s parents names be put on the invite, but times are becoming more flexible.

if it were me and my parents were paying for the wedding, i would still include the groom’s parents names. but while it may not be that important to me, it may be important to your parents esp if you’re having a traditional, formal affair. you should talk to your parents about it and find out if they have any preference in the matter. the groom’s parents could even be offended if their names are not included (i’ve heard of this happening before). talk to your fam and your fiance and do what feels most comfortable for you.

good luck!

as a p.s.
i am utterly obsessed with traditional elements, for no apparent reason.

WHOOPS!! NOT THAT i’m not old enough to attend weddings but i meant have one….haha! wrong wording!

i’ve also read about the “and” instead of “to” for jewish weddings. i relied on the crane’s website for invitation etiquette. maybe that’s where i saw it.

Ditto Mrs. Bee. We also worded our invitation with ‘Together with their families’ because it was just easiest. My mom is paying for most of the wedding while my FI and I are paying the rest. At first we were going to go the traditional route but I didn’t want to risk offending his parents or hurt their feelings. My mom did not care either way just whatever I wanted. I have read many cases of that happening, which I don’t understand. Because if that’s the tradition, wasn’t their wedding invitation worded with just the bride’s parents? You should do what feels best for you but I’d definitely talk to your parents as well especially if they are traditionalists.

It was important to both of us that both of our parents be named on our invitation. My feeling is that anyone who looks at our invitation and thinks: Gee, that’s not proper–is probably not someone we would be inviting to our wedding! We are all splitting the cost of the wedding, with my Fi and I handling the majority:

Joy X
daughter of X and Y lastname

and

FIance X
son of X and Y lastname

I also avoided the Mr and Mrs Hisfirst Hislast because I wanted my mother and his mother’s names on the invitation as well.

What I’m getting from all these comments, though–is that you (not you specifically, the general “you”) can really do what you want. Follow strict etiquette or forge your own path–your friends really won’t judge you for your invitation wording.

If you are having a Jewish wedding, you should probably put both parents’ names on the invitation. In fact, Orthodox even put BOTH parents return addresses on the invitation’s envelope! In Judaism, a wedding is seen not only as a union between two individuals, but a union of their families as well. That is why the bride and groom walk down the aisle between both of their parents, and the parents are present under the huppah.
I am having a Jewish wedding and I put “to” in my invitation. I checked the four other Jewish wedding invitations I have and they have “to” in them as well. I think it is just preferece, but if you want to make sure check out http://www.askmoses.com/ If you don’t see your answer you can email them your question. Good luck!