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In her article Mamarama: Children Make Weddings Fun, Meagan Francis laments the increasing popularity of “adult receptions.”
…that’s part of the fun of a wedding: seeing the little kids all dressed up and getting down on the dance floor; the ringlets of curls in the little girls’ hair; the little boys, handsome and stiff in their shiny shoes and clip-on ties.
The author, who’s a parent, discusses how childcare is often difficult and expensive to obtain. Parents are also likely to worry even if they do find a babysitter, especially if they have a baby. Thus “adults only” receptions may have adults declining to attend altogether.
But I understand that some couples want to have an elegant, adults only affair. Your wedding day is a once-in-a-lifetime event that you’ve spent a lot of time, money, and planning on.
The only children at our wedding were Mr. Bee’s niece and nephew, who were also our flowergirl and ringbearer. Not that children weren’t invited - simply, none of our guests brought children. In retrospect I’m glad we had kids at our wedding (albeit only two - aka the perfect amount ;)). They kicked the party up like 10 notches by dancing all night long and chatting up all the guests. Besides - children really do take the best pictures.
My niece and nephew Miko and Anya.
I agree kids make it fun, but it depends on the the type of affair. For us our meals are based per person whether they are 3 or 30 it is all the same. We only can invite 100 people and just want them to enjoy a gourmet meal, some venues provide kids food but we are not allowed to do that so we are providing babysitters instead.
I didn’t mind kids at the wedding at all (even though it was a formal NYC saturday eve wedding) They’re cute and make it more fun. I was expecting tons of kids, but most of the parents decided to leave the little ones at home — they wanted to drink and party!
In the end, besides the ring bearers and flower girl, we had a 1 1/2 year old (my sister’s nephew), and 4 teens/tweens ranging in age from 11-18. I think these older kids are great because they danced all night long!
I should add that my sister and her in-laws (who brought the 1 1/2 year old to my wedding) are invited to a cousin’s wedding this summer that’s “adults only.” They are all declining.
My sister’s inlaws were very impressed with everything that I had set up for the little ones (coloring books, personalized goody boxes, sippy cups, etc).
I guess I am trying to have it both ways — I am having a “junior reception” for the kids — a separate room with their own menu (stuff kids want to eat) and their own little cake. They will also have entertainment (TV, DVDs and parents are encouraged to bring things to keep their kids occupied.) I am hiring three childcare workers to watch the kids at “their” reception.
This way, children are occupied and can have fun with others their own age — how much fun can kids have at an adult-oriented function anyway? They get bored, ignored and then into mischief.
I think with the junior reception, everyone gets to go to a party they can really enjoy.
its definitely going to be “adults only.” i’m going to specify it in bold letters on the invites. i love kids but i just want it to be a really intimate, elegant affair.
We are having only our nieces and nephews…although that means 10 kids at the reception. We will have a kids table with activities for them, and it will be an open soda bar for the kids. 10 is plenty to have there. If we opened it to all the kids including cousins that would mean that we couldn’t invite a lot of the adults we really want there.
I am going the mostly no-kids route. Family children (youngest is 5) + FI’s goddaughter.
Most of my friends with children under 5 aren’t even thinking about bringing them. There is one potential issue, but my FI has promised to speak with that family.
I do love kids–but I’m of the mindset that open bar + adults + party that goes until midnight = potential for a meltdown.
Did the 1 1/2 year old just go to sleep on a chair somewhere?
This was really hard for us!! We are just inviting teenagers on up… a lot of the families we are inviting have 6+ kids and since we are only inviting 150 and are paying by the head, we decided that was the best route.
My cousin’s wedding reception was kind of a nightmare… there were a lot of rowdy little boys there whose parents weren’t keeping an eye on them and they were running all over the place and unplugging the DJ’s equiptment!!
Hi Joy, I put my sister (with 2 kids) and her in-laws (with the 1 1/2 year old) in a corner table both so that they would have extra space and that the kids wouldn’t be in other guest’s way.
The reception ended at midnight.
My sister’s sister-in-law (that’s a mouth-full!) brought a stroller and her son wound up falling asleep at some point and I think they left around 11:30. my neice and nephew sort of fell asleep on their chairs. My sister brought pjs for them and changed them before leaving so that she could take them from the car to their beds.
all of the little kids behave dREALLY well. It was actually more than a bit surprising.
I had initially thought about doing an adults only reception but in my culture (Chinese) kids mean longevity and prosperity it would be unheard of to do an adults only reception ….I would never hear the end of it from family and friends.
I don’t think i’m even going to have a flower girl or ring bearer.
I’m having an 18+ wedding (minus my little cousins.)
I’ll be blunt…
I hate kids.
So I don’t want them at my wedding. lol.
I had “adult only” reception and friends/family with kids did not attend but there were few couples who did bring their kids anyhow. I didn’t have flower girl/ring bearer so it added to the “rule” of adult-only reception.
I’d like to hear the other side of the mom argument. Some parents look forward to a night where they can just be with grownups and talk to their friends and send the kids to the sitters. For some parents it’s a long-awaited night out — one where they aren’t constantly interrupted and mopping spills and can dress up.
Also — How did adults only become anti family? We are inviting only children of immediate family — around 10 kids, all nieces and nephews of the groom. There’s a lot of reasons for that decision — food selection, guest count, and frankly, supervision. Many parents don’t watch their kids and the more children you have, the more havoc they can bring to a wedding reception.
Having children is a private decision with much responsibiltiy — including the expectation that a babysitter will need to be hired now and then. A private wedding would be one of those times.
Commenting again, as I forgot something. I’m going to allow children 13+ to attend, as long as they are immediate family. Others will be 18+.
Very good reading. Peace until next time.
WaltDe
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Mrs. Bee, New York Age and Occupation: 29, Weddingbee Publisher Fiance's Age and Occupation: 33, Internet Engagement Date: May 7, 2004 Wedding Date: March 5, 2005 Venue: Westside Loft, New York About Me: Yes, my name really is Bee! I love my blogging, wikis, and tabasco sauce!
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