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Mrs. Snail (formerly Miss Snail), New York/New Jersey Age and Occupation: 26, Make-up artist Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Making me happy~ Engagement Date: May 7, 2006 Wedding Date: December 2006 Venue: Rockleigh Country Club, New Jersey About Me: I feel like I've waited so long to officially start the wedding planning process and now I'm all sorts of emotions - overwhelmed, excited, stressed, confused. But I'm a trooper and I have the support of the best friends and family. I hope I'm able to plan an amazing wedding in 6 months that will be talked about years from now.
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Guest List

July 17th, 2006 @ 8:59 pm by Mrs. Snail

This is something that’s been on the back of my mind. I’ve got less than 5 months left before the big day, and I’ve been going back and forth on who should be on the guest list.

I’ve got my close friends and family, and a small handful of my sister’s and brother’s friends. The big question mark is my co-workers. When I’m not at home, the bulk of my time is spent at work - the M.A.C makeup counter - and I get along with all of them. In a short amount of time, we’ve almost become a little family. And as hard as I tried to keep the wedding planning talk to a minimum, I couldn’t with everyone asking and others giving valuable input for my special day.

Originally, I was going to invite just 3~4, but I know word will eventually get out and I’ll be left feeling slightly guilty. I feel obligated to have them all there. There are about 16 girls - half are married or are in serious relationships - and I can’t have them all bring their significant others… that would be too many people.

So my question is: What do I do?

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85 Responses to “Guest List”

1.
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John

That’s a tough one! I ended up inviting a lot of my office - basically everyone who had worked there more than a few months (it’s a small office).

I don’t think there’s a lot of middle ground on this one… you just have to determine a consistent criteria that makes sense (e.g. everyone who has been there more than ___ months, everyone in your shift, etc.).

Good luck!!!

 
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skichik

I think you need to invite all or none. That said, and given the number of people from work, I’d just say it’s a smaller affair and you’d love to invite them but it’s only close friends and family.

 
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Mrs. Rose

Dilemma — I agree with the all or none, and since it seems you all have developed this family thing and closeness with your co-workers, if you plan on working there after the wedding, I would invite them.
Just make it understood that it’s them only and no guest. Most won’t want to be there without an escort , or their SO, and won’t come if they can’t bring them. That way, you invited them, so they don’t feel snubbed, but you will feel the sigh of relief as they decline because they can’t bring the SO — it will probably end up that the only ones who will show up will be the 3 or 4 you wanted in the first place.

 
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kat

it’s tough…this is what i did: i sent out a “save the date” email to the coworkers i wanted to invite. in the email i wrote “…i know some of the people have kids and it’s hard to leave the house or some people just dont go out. i just wanted to share the joy and it would be an honor to have you at our wedding…” basically there’s no pressure if people can’t attend and they don’t feel left out either.

 
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katie

i don’t think there’s an easy solution when it comes to deciding which co-workers to invite to your wedding. since everyone knows your getting married, and when they don’t get the invite, some feelings would be a bit hurt. but honestly, it’s a given that you can’t invite everyone from your job. i say just invite the ones that you truly want there. i’m sure you want to spare any hurt feelings but you have to be practical too.

 
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Jasmine

That is tough Im kind of in a similar boat but not quite as bad Im doing a program to become a sign language interpreter Its 2 1/2 years (half a year left woohoo!) so my classmates and I have gotten to know each other pretty well. I decided to invite my whole class but as singles I told them that Id love for them to come since we have worked studied and cried together over this past 2 years but budget restricted me to just inviting them Since they all know each other through the program I told them they could just all sit together and be each others dates It worked out wonderfully and they are all coming sans dates Hope that helps

 
7.
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The Dane

I went through this as well, although I work in an office with about 50 folks. The first thing I did was think about who I really wanted to invite. I’ve been with this firm since I graduated law school (7 years now) and I consider many fo the folks I work with to be close friends. A law firm also has a pretty established caste system (partners, associates, paralegals, secretaries, and down the list). As I was looking at my list, I noticed that the vast majority of the folks I wanted to invite were attorneys (partners & associates) so I decided only attorneys would be on my invite list, then I put together a list of the attorneys I am close with or work closely with and those are the folks I invited (plus their SOs) and I landed at about 5 out of an office of 50. Is anyone going to have hurt feelings about not being invited . . . I really don’t think so. Most folks understand what a wedding costs and they also know that I’m paying for the wedding myself. Plus, in the seven years I’ve been here there have been 4 weddings (2 I was invited to and 2 I was not) and none of the folks invited all the attorneys or the whole office - they did what I’m doing - invited the folks they are close with.

 
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angie

either invite the ones that you are really close to or invite all of them w/o their other halves. if i were them, i’d understand. for my wedding, i’m only inviting the co-workers that i’m close to.

 
9.
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hm

if i socialize with them outside of work, i am inviting them.

i don’t think i can reasonably ask someone to travel across five states for a big, multi-day event if we don’t travel across town to see each other on a sunday afternoon.

 
10.
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meg

I agree with most of the other commenters. Although I really enjoy working with my co-workers and consider them wonderful, caring people, I do not socialize with any of them outside of the office. As a result, it was really an all (approx 25) or nothing thing for me. I opted for none as we are having fewer than 100 people at the wedding and an additional 25 people is significant. No one seems the least bit put off by this. My fiance, however, had a tougher time figuring this out since his work place is far more casual and he and his co-workers socialize fairly often, and again, to invite everyone would be approx. 25 people. Ultimately we decided to invite only those co-workers with whom he socializes in a non-work context (i.e. he goes out with them not just as part of a work group). We have found that everyone understands.

 
11.
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kanipark

i had the same problem… i ended up just inviting 3 of maybe 6-7ish close co-workers. in your case, i would invite all your co-workers without their halves… i’m sure they would understand :)

 
12.
Mrs. Bee
Bee
Mrs. Bee (message)  3,261 posts, Sugar bee

a lot of people have the same problem. i’d stick to just inviting the ones you’re closest to. it’s not realistic to invite everyone esp when there are 16 people! i’m sure they’ll understand.

 
13.
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aegie

Invite them all to your wedding shower and invite the ones most closest to you to the wedding.

 
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Mrs. Snail Mrs. Snail (formerly Miss Snail), New York/New Jersey Age and Occupation: 26, Make-up artist Fiance's Age and Occupation: 26, Making me happy~ Engagement Date: May 7, 2006 Wedding Date: December 2006 Venue: Rockleigh Country Club, New Jersey About Me: I feel like I've waited so long to officially start the wedding planning process and now I'm all sorts of emotions - overwhelmed, excited, stressed, confused. But I'm a trooper and I have the support of the best friends and family. I hope I'm able to plan an amazing wedding in 6 months that will be talked about years from now.
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