What Does Marriage Mean to You?

What Does Marriage Mean to You?

July 19th, 2006 @ 1:16 pm by Mrs. Bee
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With the wedding season upon us, Shermian Lim, an undergraduate student at Penn State, ponders about marriage in her weekly column. While discussing why people decide to get married, her two friends each came up with interesting points.

One friend believes that finding the right person is like checking off a list of qualities you want in a partner. If you are able to tick off most of the items on your list against the person, there is a good chance that he or she may be the one.

The second friend’s opinion was that marriage sometimes is not so much about finding the right qualities in a person, but rather, it is a commitment undertaken by two parties to be in a marriage. In time, love will grow from nurturing that commitment.

And the author’s stance?

I truly believe that love overwrites all. When destiny throws that person into the path of your life, you will not need to refer to your list. You will not need to believe in commitment because it will come naturally. I also firmly believe that real love transcends time, race, distance, ideology and religion.

My cynical self is always at odds with my romantic self, so I’ve subscribed to each of these points in one way or another over the years. There were many reasons why I knew Mr. Bee was “the one,” but if I had to choose, it would be that he understands me like no one ever has. Because I’m really, really weird. Seriously - like really weird.

What does marriage mean to you? Why did you decide to marry your fiance?

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5 Responses to “What Does Marriage Mean to You?”

Guest

Amber

Love your site! I decided to marry my fiance because he’s the one for me. I had first met him 9 years ago, and we worked together. He was my boss! We started dating, but he was too nice to me, and I couldn’t get used to it. So we broke up, he quit, and we lost touch. After dating a plethora or jerks, idiots and morons, I realized I had screwed up, and I looked for him. It was 5 years after the last time we spoke. I finally found him online, and we started dating from there. After a year, we moved in together. A year after that, we got engaged at Disneyland. He’s who I was meant to be with, maybe not at the first time, but definitely later.

7/19/06 @ 1:22 pm (reply)

Guest

Andi

marriage for me is about two people committing to a relationship, doing everything in their power to work at the relationship. its about two people wanting the same goals in life and supporting each other so that they each can achieve these goals. its about being partners through anything, and being there for each other. its about caring, love, understanding and sharing.

7/19/06 @ 2:00 pm (reply)

Guest

angie b.

for a long time, i thought i would be with someone who shared all my interests and passions. i guess that was my “checklist.” as it turns out, my husband and i are quite different. sure, there is love at the center of our marriage, but what makes it work is how we nurture that love each day. this takes understanding, compromise and respect for our differences and individuality. i have my time to pursue goals/interests and he has his. we’ll share stories and invite each other to participate so we always feel included, but we also know when to back off as well. this works for us

7/19/06 @ 10:18 pm (reply)

Guest

Christina

I think marriage cannot survive on love alone. I think about other boys I’ve “fallen in love with”; and obviously I wasn’t meant to marry them. It’s a process to find the right man to marry, whether conscious or not. I loved my bf after a few months of dating (and i did think he looked great on “paper”), even though I didn’t care much for him when I first met him (too dorky), but it’s our compatibility, and how we complement each other and allow each other the proper amount of space and give each other support and encouragement to grow as an individual… more than my lover or my companion, he’s my very bestest friend.

7/20/06 @ 12:59 am (reply)

Guest

Ariel

I knew he was the one so soon that I was scared for a long time… that I was crazy, not thinking straight, etc…

But I think it hit me one day.. that it wasn’t really about finding “the perfect one”. Because he is far from perfect and neither am I… but the thing that makes us “meant to be” is that for one reason or another, both of us are willing to do our very best to love each other… with what we’ve got… with our imperfect selves…

7/20/06 @ 2:08 pm (reply)