Beehive

August 9th, 2006 @ 12:21 pm by Mrs. Bee

In today’s beehive:

Helen is looking for delicate yet firm language to stop her parents from inviting tons of people she’s never met.
hm wants to know if anyone has ordered the letterpress invites from Costco.

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8 Responses to “Beehive”

Guest

Miss Butterfly

helen - who is paying for the wedding? and how involved are your parents in the planning process? i think the best way to tell parents to stop inviting people is to say that there is no more room at the venue. or that you signed a contract stating a max. number of people. something to that effect. however, if they keep doing it, i think you should just be straight up with them. tell them that you will not be sending these people invitations. of course, all this is moot if they are paying. you can’t really do much about that…=(

8/9/06 @ 1:37 pm (reply)

Guest

Mrs. Poppy

i agree with miss butterfly. the thing is when your parents are paying they do have a lot of say in it. i know that our parents want to invite a lot of people but i gave both my parents and my fiance’s parents a number of people they can invite. maybe that would help? you could tell them that your venue literally can’t hold anymore than the number you have given them… or you might just have to be really blunt with them and slightly hurt their feeligns.

but the number thing worked for me… i do hope it goes well and keep us updated please. good lucky

8/9/06 @ 2:19 pm (reply)

Guest

Hi Helen… I talked about this topic just a day or two ago with Chrissie’s questions too .. take a look @ my response (comment #6) in the following link:

http://www.weddingbee.com/2006/08/07/beehive-25/

8/9/06 @ 2:33 pm (reply)

Guest

angie

good luck with that, helen! i was NOT able to get it thru my father’s head - both in a mean way & a nice way. hopefully someone will be able to help you!!

8/9/06 @ 2:58 pm (reply)

Guest

Chrissie

I had the question a couple of days ago in the beehive about keeping it intimate.

We are doing a few things: 1) setting a number and dividing it into 3 - that is how many our parents can invite (obviously there is a little give. My family is like 10 people, and his is more like 40! but you get the idea)

2) booking a venue with a small capacity. having a smaller wedding gives you a lot more options! we are (hopefully) using a historic home and

3) considering having a more intimate ceremony with a larger reception. My FI’s cousin did this: only parents, BM, MOH, and siblings and their spouses were at the ceremony, then they partied with everyone! We are contemplating doing this as well.

8/9/06 @ 3:24 pm (reply)

Guest

Katie

Oh I think you can do something about it even if they are paying. Our guest list is about 50% my parents’ people (not including relatives) and there came a point where I put my foot down. I told my mom that I’m nto inviting people to my wedding who I’ve never met, even if they are her work friends. I also told her that when it came time to trim the guest list, I’d be the one doing that –not her. Even if your parents are paying for the whole thing it’s still your and your fiance’s wedding.

Personally, I reason with my mother by appealing to her own history–she and my father’s wedding was very low-key and low-budget and wasn’t at all what she had wanted. Whenever she tries to interfere w/ what I want, I point out to her that surely she wouldn’t want me to feel like she did at her wedding. You could try something similar–be calm and logical about it!

8/9/06 @ 3:25 pm (reply)

Guest

Helen

Thanks, guys, that’s really helpful. This is all relatively moot as my boyfriend has yet to propose (!) but it’s in the offing and my mum is getting uber excited even before i’ve got the ring - ridiculous, no?! The glitch with the venue restricting the numbers for us is that it’s going to be held at my parents’ (and my childhood) home. You’d think that would keep it down (our lawn’s not that big!) but her comment really worried me.
Hopefully the caterers, table hire, tent hire and such like will require the party size to be kept low for costs purposes so I can nip her wedding domination plans in the bud before she goes off on one!

8/10/06 @ 2:14 pm (reply)

Guest

Good luck Helen!

8/10/06 @ 7:08 pm (reply)