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Because that’s what my caterer and I are.
My last phone conversation with her . . .
Me: Hi, Caterer, I just wanted to check in on the budget with you. It’s [One Billion Dollars] for the food and [Half a Billion] for the rentals, right?
Caterer: You know, I don’t know. I don’t have it in front of me.
Me: Okay, can you check?
Caterer: I really have to find your file. And you’ve made so many changes, I can’t tell you offhand.
My Head: Changes?! What changes? I haven’t made any changes because I HAVE NOT TALKED TO YOU IN 6 MONTHS, YOU CALL-AVOIDING CUPCAKE GOUGER!
Me: All right. We’ll leave it until we meet later this week.
Caterer: Okay! Great!
My Head: I am going to eat you when I see you.
I’m sorry. That sucks. We should gang up on her like Africanized bees!
I don’t know why I assumed your caterer is a “her”– it just came out. Eek. I take it back. Him or her…
oh no! that sounds horrible!!!
i wish you could tell us who the vendor is so that we can avoid this particular person!
This is what makes me glad that our reception venue is all-inclusive. I would have to kill that caterer.
Ugh! I have had similar problems with my caterer. I try to be calm about it but I think I going to have to hold my fiance back if she doesn’t shape up, he starts to foam at the mouth when I mention her.
Why do they have to make it so difficult?
that sounds like our caterer, who answers 2 of every 6 questions.
Is it too late to change caterers? To file an official complaint with the BBB? To ask someone to call “representing you” to discuss breach of contract issues? Maybe that is too much stress to go through, but I would hate to have to let such unprofessional behavior slide!
Miss Caterpillar, you know you’re my favorite author. But I hate to see you suffer like this~!
I think you should be less passive-aggressive with your caterer and more direct and forthcoming. Of course, you don’t want to sour your relationship before the event. So choose your words wisely.
Maybe next time they mention all the supposed “changes” you made, correct them firmly but politely. If they try to shoo you away again by saying they need to “find your file”, tell them “Okay. How long will it take? I can stay on the line or I can call you back.” Or “It’s been X months. I would appreciate getting the information now.” If they don’t provide the service you expected, tell them so. “I really want to be able to say that I had a good experience with you and your company. So please do this and this so that we can make it work.”
Good luck!
This post made me laugh, only because I feel the same way about my catering person! Lol. I feel your pain, but unfortunately don’t have any good advice.
Haha you should say what you’re thinking next time you see her (ok…maybe save it for after she’s done catering your wedding).
I feel the exact way about my caterer. She’ll make me wait forever and then say, “Thank you for your patience.” Which really means “That patience will be important moving forward since I will continue to not call you back.” She’ll encourage me to use her vendors for various things — vendors whose lack for attention to detail rivals her own. All she’ll say is that this is their busy season.
Busy doing what? Not calling people back?
Cupcake gouger!!!! LOL!
I would have made her get off of her sorry behind and look it up right then! I’d eat her too!
i’m so sorry! that sounds so horrible. although you did make lots of readers laugh with this post - some consolation?
please eat her.
oh boy, i got carried away. sorry.
your caterer sucks. good luck with the meeting!
This is an example of unprofessional customer service (or to be more accurate, “DIS”service”), and unnessary headache that a bride just doens’t need. I’ll bite her head off for you :-D.
Wow, that stinks. That is very poor customer service!
I’m sorry they were so mean to you! 
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Mrs. Caterpillar, New York/CA Age and Occupation in 06: 28, Corporate Attorney to be Fiance's Age and Occupation: 29, Musician Engagement Date: March 9, 2006 Wedding Date: September, 2006 Venue: Rooster Point About Me: I don't like Jeff Koons, mushy corn, or the unnecessary diacritical marks the New Yorker adds to words like cooperative. Also, I'm an obsessive compulsive when it comes to crafts. And not just the ordinary kind of obsessive compulsive who needs to have everything even and aligned. No. I've gilded the heads of pins to make sure they looked properly antique. Gilded them. Then coated them in german glass glitter. I am that crazy.
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