Will you be my groomsman?

I love how Miss Violet asked her friends to be her bridesmaids.

Her bridesmaids were just as surprised as my groomsmen! But I didn’t have a clever plan to ask them… I just sorta mentioned it casually and treated it like no big deal. I just assumed that they would know! I mean, I only have a few close friends… if not them, then who???

But when I asked my two groomsmen, they were both genuinely surprised and excited! I was really touched, and in retrospect – I really regret not making more of a big deal out of asking them to be in my wedding party.

So for any grooms out there reading this: this is the #1 thing that I wish I had done. Forget the groomsmen gifts after the wedding (I mean, groomsmen gifts are definitely something that a girl invented). Definitely make a big deal out of asking your boys to be in your wedding.

If I could do it again, I would buy a cigar or a bottle of port and hand it to my friend over dinner… and say, I hope we can smoke/drink this at my wedding – and I’d be honored if you would be there as my groomsmen. Then after he accepted, we would stand up and give each other the traditional guy hug (a one second hug comprised of a right-handed handshake followed by some left-handed slaps on the back) – then there’d be an awkward pause, and we’d sit back down.

Then we wouldn’t talk about it again, until it was time for the tuxedo fitting. Damn, I definitely dropped the ball on this one…

BLOGGER

Mr. Bee

Location:
New York City, New York
Wedding Date:
March 2005
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comments

  1. Guest Icon Guest
    C, Guest @ 12:10 pm

    hahaha “guy hug”. so true.

  2. Guest Icon Guest
    Miss. Poppy, Guest @ 12:10 pm

    awww i think my fiance didn’t ask, he told them they are! haha

  3. Guest Icon Guest
    dj, Guest @ 12:27 pm

    the “guy hug”!! buahahah

  4. Guest Icon Guest
    Miss Bluebell, Guest @ 12:29 pm

    hehehe this rings so true! We’re just having a best man, but he lives a few hours away so when he came down to have dinner with us I kept nudging Mr. Bluebell whispering “do it now??” and he kept shrugging it off, then after dinner when we were at a crowded bar with random friends of friends we didn’t even know he was just like “uhh, I was thinking you could be my best man”. And the BM was sooo flattered and it was cute and I really wish he’d made more of a production out of it! Especially since the best man had been asking me EVERY SINGLE DAY since we got engaged like 2 months earlier who the best man was going to be and I had to say “I don’t know, I don’t think he’s decided yet…” all awkwardly…

  5. Guest Icon Guest
    K, Guest @ 1:28 pm

    Yeah, I think my fiance will just be like, “Dude, be my groomsman, ok?”
    -sigh-

  6. Guest Icon Guest
    kanipark, Guest @ 1:38 pm

    guy hug… lol :) you’re such a guy, kekeke…
    i know my hubbs & his friends all had a hard time asking… because it is such an honor… the hubbs… called once and ended up talking about something else, cuz he didn’t know how to ask… it was really cute actually…

    the bottle of port (or cigars) is a GREAT idea :)

  7. Guest Icon Guest
    kitty, Guest @ 10:49 pm

    hahaha. GUY HUG!

  8. Guest Icon Guest
    miss violet, Guest @ 12:07 am

    haha thanks for the reference.. and thanks for defining what a guy hug is.. haha. well by your groomsmens reactions, it seemed like whatever you did was special enough for them.

    i don’t get it, why is it so hard for a guy to ask? my fiance, unlike me, has not asked the best man yet (he believes that the best man has assumed the responsibility because they’re already talking about the bachelor party! and he’s only asked one groomsman so far because I nudged him to do it..)

  9. Guest Icon Guest
    Judy, Guest @ 2:49 pm

    I just started thinking about how we would ask our bridal party to be a part of our wedding & I think I know how I want to do it. Were going to invite them all out to eat (its 3 couples- 2 of the couples are married & the other couple are bf/gf but sooner or later they will be getting engaged too) hehe! Anyway… invite them all out to eat one night & suprise them with the waiter bring all the girls a ring box with a diamond ring keychain with a tag saying “Will you …. be my Bridesmaid?” & the guys will get a beer with a groomsmen tuxedo koozie. Still thinking how to ask the guys but will be something funny maybe.

  10. Guest Icon Guest
    David, Guest @ 2:24 am

    lol ..i like it…… i took this route

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TpcbKjpb6Bk

  11. Guest Icon Guest
    elizabeth, Guest @ 7:34 am

    I like it! We did this:
    http://elizabethdoodah.blogspot.com/2012/04/i-mustache-you-question-will-you-be-my.html

  12. Guest Icon Guest
    Mandy, Guest @ 5:35 pm

    I love it how she told them that they were her bridesmaid though I wasn’t able to experience it on my wedding because I choose not to have bridesmaid.

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