Weddingbee Blog

vyv - my hubbs & i had no intentions of getting pre-marital counseling, however the church we wanted to get married in required it. so we did… i would say overall it was a great experience… the pastor said, he had never met a couple that was so compatible (i wonder if he said that to everyone)… we got the most questions correct…

before the meeting, we had to take a survey/quiz… answering questions like… how many kids do you want, when, etc. etc. etc.

the only thing i didn’t like was that the pastor seemed like he wanted us to fight… confront different situations in the past, etc… i don’t like to dwell on the past or talk about past arguements… but this pastor insisted… he really made me mad at one point… (i just want to let you know that this wasn’t a typical pastor… he actually had to TRY to be nice to people…. wasn’t a people person)…

anyhow… i would say overall it’s a good idea… one topic that’s sensitive but should be talked about is… how each one reacts under pressure or during fights… i like to keep quiet and not talk for a lil’ while the hubbs wants to talk right away… we had to come to a compromise… although that IS very hard to change… whoa this entry got long…

miss pizzys - it sucks when a vendor doesn’t do what they say they will… but i don’t think you can ask for a discount… i do think you should voice you thoughts… and tell them that you had been patient… you’ve followed up and still haven’t received anything in the mail… just tell them you are disappointed with the level of service…

Re premarital counseling, fi and I were leery about a class with a huge emphasis on religion. (”Hi, I’m getting married” isn’t necessarily “hi, I’m dying for a grand spiritual awakening.”) Nor did we want to go to some counselor who knows nothing about us.

But we both thought it was a good idea to have some discussions about expectations. I got the book “Lies at the Altar: the Truth about Great Marriages” by Dr. Robin Smith (recommended by Oprah!) and it has many topics to talk about and exercises. When driving across the state for wedding appointments, we’d get out the book and talk about things. Even though we’ve been together for 3 years, we learned new things and resolved some issues.

I think the book is perfect for brides & grooms b/c the whole pt is being clear about your intentions and making your vows meaningful. What does it really mean on a daily basis to “honor and cherish” someone? I feel that after going through the book, our vows will be more powerful b/c we have thoughtfully considered what they mean to each other. I also liked her view on how we’re not just trying to create a long marriage - we’re trying to create a GREAT marriage. Longevity is a byproduct, not the goal.

So I think a good book, a space of time set aside and a willingness to delve into issues can be a great method of marriage preparation.

CDD, in my opinion, it’s okay to send out STDs through email, as long as you put forth some effort into it. (It may be a bad idea to just send an email that says “Save the Date X/X/XX” in the body)

We emailed a STD image to all our guests. View the jpeg image that we attached here

http://www.weddingbee.com/2006/02/07/save-the-dates-3/

We also included a link to our website, which had lots of additional information, fun stories, and photos.

I would highly recommend the Prepare/Enrich program. http://www.prepare-enrich.com/indexm.cfm
You can work with someone religious or not–there are plenty of people certified to administer the program for you. It was such a wonderful experience for us!

Basically you take this personality assesment type thing and that becomes your launching point for discussing every aspect of your relationship–including how your life growing up will affect your life together.

This is a somewhat related question - is it bad etiquette to tell people our wedding date and/or give them the Web site URL before we send out STD’s?

Chrissie- Not at all. Some people are excited and ask you as soon as you get the ring! I think it’s ok to talk about it before they go out. It’s an exciting moment in life and should be talked about no matter the situation!!!

I would like to know if anyone knows of a place to get a monogram done, hopefully not too expensive. Did anyone DIY?

I am having a destination wedding also . . . Costa Rica in November (less than three months away now!). We have about 40 people booked and are expecting maybe another 10-15 to make their plans in the near future. But we sent out about 80 invitations representing about 150 people . . . granted, many of those people are older relatives, etc. so would never be able to travel.

So I think it really depends on the location of your wedding and the specifics of your group. We have also found that many of our friends are having babies right now and are not able to travel for those reasons. A happy occasion, but a bummer for us!

Hope this helps!

I read “The proper care and feeding of Husbands” by Dr. Laura. Yeah yeah, I know, a lot of women don’t like her, but I think she made many valid points. I read the first 10 pages thinking this book was written for the worst, bitchies, selfish wives ever… then from pages 11-100, I realized I was making some of the same mistakes too! It was eye-opening and my fiance actually learned a lot from it too. It started up a lot of interesting conversations.

Hi, I’m trying to help my friend research dresses (for her dress # 2) So far I’ve browsed on Nordstrom, Saks, Bloomies, and weddingbee to see if there are some links to really nice dresses. (the problem with the dept stores are that the dresses are not particularly special or elaborate enough for what she wanted for her reception dress .

Any suggestions for stores in new york that would specialize in that type of dresses?

Thank you!!!