Mrs. Bee, New York
Age and Occupation: 29, Weddingbee Publisher
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 33, Internet
Engagement Date: May 7, 2004
Wedding Date: March 5, 2005
Venue: Westside Loft, New York
About Me: Yes, my name really is Bee! I love my blogging, wikis, and tabasco sauce!
In today’s beehive:
- vyv would like you to share your pre marriage counseling experiences.
- EFOct06 is looking for chair covers that are under $5.
- C is looking for a reputable seamstress in NYC.
- MizzPiggys is having problems getting her venue to send her a contract after the promised to do so. Can she complain or ask for a discount?
- CDD moved out of state and doesn’t have many addresses but has many email addresses. She wants to send online save the dates to save money and to ask people to reply with their addresses. Is this too tacky?
- Chrissie wants to know if it’s bad etiquette to tell people their wedding date or wedding website before they send out their std’s.
- Turtle is having a destination wedding. She’s invited 100 people and is expecting around 75 to attend. Do less people come to destination weddings?
- Amber is looking for a place to get a monogram made inexpensively. Did you diy?
See the most recent beehive here. See all past beehives here. To add your question to the beehive, leave a comment below and we’ll update this post to include your question.
29 Responses to “Beehive”
CDD - My fiance did this in a sorts to get all of his friends addresses. In the email, he announced our wedding date and location and asked that they forward him their addresses, so they could be included on our guest list. We are, however, still sending those people a STD in the mail too.
vyv - my hubbs & i had no intentions of getting pre-marital counseling, however the church we wanted to get married in required it. so we did… i would say overall it was a great experience… the pastor said, he had never met a couple that was so compatible (i wonder if he said that to everyone)… we got the most questions correct…
before the meeting, we had to take a survey/quiz… answering questions like… how many kids do you want, when, etc. etc. etc.
the only thing i didn’t like was that the pastor seemed like he wanted us to fight… confront different situations in the past, etc… i don’t like to dwell on the past or talk about past arguements… but this pastor insisted… he really made me mad at one point… (i just want to let you know that this wasn’t a typical pastor… he actually had to TRY to be nice to people…. wasn’t a people person)…
anyhow… i would say overall it’s a good idea… one topic that’s sensitive but should be talked about is… how each one reacts under pressure or during fights… i like to keep quiet and not talk for a lil’ while the hubbs wants to talk right away… we had to come to a compromise… although that IS very hard to change… whoa this entry got long…
miss pizzys - it sucks when a vendor doesn’t do what they say they will… but i don’t think you can ask for a discount… i do think you should voice you thoughts… and tell them that you had been patient… you’ve followed up and still haven’t received anything in the mail… just tell them you are disappointed with the level of service…
cdd - i think it’s totally okay to send save the dates over evite or email. i have received save the dates through email and didn’t find it tacky at all 
it is a good idea to ask for addresses so that you have them for your ivitations
Re premarital counseling, fi and I were leery about a class with a huge emphasis on religion. (”Hi, I’m getting married” isn’t necessarily “hi, I’m dying for a grand spiritual awakening.”) Nor did we want to go to some counselor who knows nothing about us.
But we both thought it was a good idea to have some discussions about expectations. I got the book “Lies at the Altar: the Truth about Great Marriages” by Dr. Robin Smith (recommended by Oprah!) and it has many topics to talk about and exercises. When driving across the state for wedding appointments, we’d get out the book and talk about things. Even though we’ve been together for 3 years, we learned new things and resolved some issues.
I think the book is perfect for brides & grooms b/c the whole pt is being clear about your intentions and making your vows meaningful. What does it really mean on a daily basis to “honor and cherish” someone? I feel that after going through the book, our vows will be more powerful b/c we have thoughtfully considered what they mean to each other. I also liked her view on how we’re not just trying to create a long marriage - we’re trying to create a GREAT marriage. Longevity is a byproduct, not the goal.
So I think a good book, a space of time set aside and a willingness to delve into issues can be a great method of marriage preparation.
We just sent our save the dates via email & everyone loved them!!! I’ve been using the responses as an opportunity to collect addresses we didn’t have on file & we’ll send our invites out via mail shortly…well, as soon as I get them printed that is! 
CDD, in my opinion, it’s okay to send out STDs through email, as long as you put forth some effort into it. (It may be a bad idea to just send an email that says “Save the Date X/X/XX” in the body)
We emailed a STD image to all our guests. View the jpeg image that we attached here
http://www.weddingbee.com/2006/02/07/save-the-dates-3/
We also included a link to our website, which had lots of additional information, fun stories, and photos.
CDD- I actually printed our wedding web address on our STD’s and everyone who has looked at it, has already RSVP’d online!! Sometimes it’s the most convenient way!!
I would highly recommend the Prepare/Enrich program. http://www.prepare-enrich.com/indexm.cfm
You can work with someone religious or not–there are plenty of people certified to administer the program for you. It was such a wonderful experience for us!
Basically you take this personality assesment type thing and that becomes your launching point for discussing every aspect of your relationship–including how your life growing up will affect your life together.
Hey C,
Sarah who was recently in one of our featured weddings said that tailor Cristina was awesome.
http://www.weddingbee.com/2006/08/07/featured-wedding-sarah-and-adam/
Cristina commented on the post and you can contact her at cristinaespinosa@gmail.com.
This is a somewhat related question - is it bad etiquette to tell people our wedding date and/or give them the Web site URL before we send out STD’s?
I have a question:
We are playing a “destination wedding” to the Outerbanks, in North Carolina. Realistically, it’s about an 8 hour drive for most of our friends and family. Others would’ve had to fly in anyways…
My question is this, for all other destination brides out there: Have you found that less people come? We’ve already limited our guest list to 100, expecting only 75, but we hoped that many of our best friends and sisters, would still come for the week to party before and after the wedding with us. So far, my MOH already said no (for some yet unknown real reason). I’m worried that everyone else will say no too.
Chrissie- Not at all. Some people are excited and ask you as soon as you get the ring! I think it’s ok to talk about it before they go out. It’s an exciting moment in life and should be talked about no matter the situation!!!
You never know who’s going to turn down or show up to a destination wedding! You should plan for a large range of possibilities.
We invited about 75 people, and planned for 40 - 60. So far, more than 50 have booked their flights and hotel rooms.
I’ve heard that some destination weddings have much less people attend than expected. While others have more than expected. You never know. It depends on the group and the circumstances.
Good luck, Turtle.
I would like to know if anyone knows of a place to get a monogram done, hopefully not too expensive. Did anyone DIY?
chrissie - i agree with tristan, how can you not tell your family and friends with all the excitement… it’s just TOO hard to contain
turtle - i think your guess is pretty right now… then again… i didn’t have a destination wedding so… hmm… i would expect about 75 guest out of 100…
I am having a destination wedding also . . . Costa Rica in November (less than three months away now!). We have about 40 people booked and are expecting maybe another 10-15 to make their plans in the near future. But we sent out about 80 invitations representing about 150 people . . . granted, many of those people are older relatives, etc. so would never be able to travel.
So I think it really depends on the location of your wedding and the specifics of your group. We have also found that many of our friends are having babies right now and are not able to travel for those reasons. A happy occasion, but a bummer for us!
Hope this helps!
Vy…
My fiance and I are getting married in October, and we are going through pre-marital counseling now. We are both Christians and our church requires it, but it is something we wanted to do anyhow because many people recommended it.
We took a personality/combatibility test that covered everything from how we resolve differences to our feelings on raising kids. That test has been the basis of our counseling.
Our counseler told us we are one of the most compatible couples that he has counseled. We really didn’t have any issues to discuss, but just getting that confirmation was really worth it.
Another thing is that studies have shown that the test that we took, when coupled with counseling yields a 3% divorce rate. I think that is awesome, considering that almost half of people get divorced.
Another part of our counseling is reading a book, together. The book is called, “Sacred Marriage” and I would really reccommend it to any Christians out there.
Overall, I feel that I am better prepared to be a wife because of the counseling.
I read “The proper care and feeding of Husbands” by Dr. Laura. Yeah yeah, I know, a lot of women don’t like her, but I think she made many valid points. I read the first 10 pages thinking this book was written for the worst, bitchies, selfish wives ever… then from pages 11-100, I realized I was making some of the same mistakes too! It was eye-opening and my fiance actually learned a lot from it too. It started up a lot of interesting conversations.
hi vyv…my husband and i had a sort of unofficial counseling where the pastor met with us and went over broader issues, not really religion. basically, we went over things like…expectations of money, what we consider roles of husband/wife, do we want kids, how many/when, how we handle stress or react when arguing, etc. basically he wanted to make sure we knew how the other person felt about those issues. he didn’t try to change us, but wanted us to be aware of our differences. i thought it was really great to get those things out there beforehand.
Hi, I’m trying to help my friend research dresses (for her dress # 2) So far I’ve browsed on Nordstrom, Saks, Bloomies, and weddingbee to see if there are some links to really nice dresses. (the problem with the dept stores are that the dresses are not particularly special or elaborate enough for what she wanted for her reception dress .
Any suggestions for stores in new york that would specialize in that type of dresses?
Thank you!!!
Need advice ASAP please! I did an impulse buy with my ring bearer suits. What do you guys think about BLACK suited groom and groomsmen with IVORY suited ring bearers? Color clash or ok? Honest opinions needed urgently!
I have been searching for the past 2 weeks for a nice dress to wear at my rehearsal dinner. It will be at the Oak Room at Beth Page State park in 2 weeks. It’s an evening thing but the setting is a grand room with a terrace overlooking the grounds of the golf course. It’s elegant without being stuffy. I want something amazing, something summery but classy at the same time. I don’t want to overdo it but I’d like to make an entrance. I have tried on so many dresses but nothing comes close. Please give me advice on websites, stores, dress types, anything…..!!
I have a question. I found a wedding band I love, but I’m a little leery of buying a ring online. Does anyone have experience with e-weddingbands.com or buying a wedding band online?
Have you considered looking at Vera Wang Lavender? I copied (!) one of her gowns for my outfit for my brother’s wedding, and got loads of comments. She was also recommended in yesterday’s UK Sunday Times Style section to look for engagement party outfits. They’re always the right side of elegant and dressy without being Oscars over the top. I love her knee length styles. She is available on http://www.netaporter.com here - must be similar boutique sites in the US?
i just ordered our wedding bands on bluenile.com, i also got my engagement ring from them and am very happy with the quality of the ring. for any online site, the best thing is to make sure you have 30 days to return the band for resizing or a full refund. make sure their security is very tight too in terms of getting the ring out to you.
shortcake - My fiance got my ering from bluenile.com Awesome site, we plan on getting our wedding rings there as well.
I got our wedding bands from eweddingbands.com and I am very happy with them. They came very quickly and look great. My fiance’s was too big and we were able to exchange it even though it had been engraved (machine engraved). I did have to pay the shipping for the return but that was okay. One thing to remember is they do call to confirm your order so make sure to check your messages.
Shortcake,
We got all our rings (both wedding bands and my e-ring) from Bluenile.com. We love our rings and their customer service is excellent. I get compliments on my rings all the time. What’s more, we don’t feel like we were ripped off. My husband, unbeknownst to me, researched tons of places to find my e-ring and Bluenile.com had best selection, service, and value. Thirty day guarantee doesn’t hurt either. Good luck with your ring shopping!
Where’s a good place on Wedding Bee to post Wedding Horror stories? I need proof that I’m not crazy! (plus it would be comforting to read other horror stories)
