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Tomorrow I will be in San Francisco having my dress fitted for the second time. NB: This is not a second fitting. I actually have to have my dress altered down a second time.
I’m sure this will cost me a billion dollars since the wedding is on Saturday, and it was just last Friday that I realized my pants don’t fit . . . and my shirts don’t fit . . . except for that chihuahua sized one that shrank in the wash . . . and my rehearsal dinner dress is falling down around my ankles . . . . *%#$@!
Don’t let this happen to you. When all the crazy madness starts, put ear plugs in. And make sure you eat food. And just ignore those weird relatives who compare everything in your wedding to the wedding your stupid cousin had in 1986 that had the really really nice dress from Vera Wang or whatever. And if worse comes to worst, just pretend you don’t speak English. Then they’ll leave you alone.
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