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Beehive Feature Launched: Aug 31, 2006 About: A forum for readers to post questions and get feedback from the hive, aka the weddingbee community.
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September 8th, 2006 @ 12:59 pm by Beehive

In today’s beehive:

  • Aim was invited to the ceremony and not the reception of a childhood friend she doesn’t really talk to anymore. Should she attend?
  • Michelle wants to know if you like pink vests and ties or black vests with pink ties?

See all past beehives here. To add your question to the beehive, leave a comment below and we’ll update this post to include your question.

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20 Responses to “Beehive”

1.
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Guest
Bebe

Honestly, it sounds like a “please give me a gift but don’t come to my party” thing. But maybe I’m just cynical. I wouldn’t go, though. If you feel obligated to acknowledge it, send her a nice card.

 
2.
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Jen

I wouldn’t go either. I agree with Bebe.. especially since you don’t keep in touch with her. I don’t think it’s proper to invite people to the ceremony, but leave them out of the reception.

 
3.
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Laura

Who invites someone to the ceremony but not the celebration?!? Maybe if they were getting married in one part of the country and having a reception somewhere else later, but if you’re special enough to be at the ceremony it seems like they’d want to party with you after. Bad taste, and I wouldn’t go since you aren’t that close. They probably expected you wouldn’t go, and should have sent you an announcement afterwards instead if they wanted to let you know they’d gotten married w/o inviting you.

 
4.
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tristan

I wouldn’t go AND not send a gift. Just R.S.V.P. back with a friendly “sorry I can’t make it but I send my wishes.”

 
5.
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YuMMie

I know a lot of people attend the wedding reception and not the ceremony if they’re not close friends, not vice versa. Even if they have it at different countries, it would still be proper to be invited to both or none. I wouldn’t take it as her being rude but I just learned that some people don’t have common sense. If it was me and she’s just an acquaintance then I wouldn’t waste my time but I would send her a card thanking her for the invitation and wishing her the very best.

 
6.
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J

I agree w/everyone above. Wouldn’t go.

 
7.
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Michelle

I wanted to know if you girls liked

pink vests and ties

or
black vest pink ties

 
8.
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marilyn

I certainly wouldn’t go.

 
9.
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Miss. Peony

black vest, pink ties.

I wouldn’t go, not because you weren’t invited to the reception, but you don’t talk to her.

 
10.
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Natakie16

I just attended a wedding with hot pink/magenta vests on the groomsmen and black tuxedos (black pink and white were her wedding colors) it looked nice in person, but I don’t think it pictured well- so I would go with the pink ties.

 
11.
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Katie

Definitely black vest and pink ties–but I think it’s more about what your groom’s comfortable in. If he’s not a pink person, then I wouldn’t subject him to too much. But if he wears a lot of pink, then go for it!

I agree w/ everyone else about not attending–she’s obviously just looking for gifts. If you’re feeling especially generous you could send along a small gift card to one of the places they’re registered at, but that’s definitley not necessary!

 
12.
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kanipark

black vest, pink ties.

 
13.
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jaycee

Aim, since I don’t know your friend, I would not go so far as to say she is just looking for gifts. It is a little strange that she would invite you even though you don’t keep in contact at all. As for only inviting guests to the ceremony but not the reception, this has happened quite a few times within my social circle. I am not offended by it at all b/c often the bride & groom are pressured to have a very large ceremony (inviting all the parents’ friends), and compromise by having a smaller reception. I know this how my wedding will have to be (parents will not budge! this is as much a celebration for them as for us). I would rather share the more intimate reception time with a smaller group of close friends. And let’s face it, receptions are very expensive. Also, I don’t think you are ever obligated to bring a gift. It’s good manners, but not an obligation.

Since you are not that close, I would decline and send a nice card.

Sorry so long, but I just felt that maybe some of the previous comments were unduly harsh and wanted to offer a different opinion.

 
14.
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jaycee

Oh, I just remembered that I’ve seen it done the other way around too - small ceremony, big reception. Maybe this is more PC! I don’t know. Someone is going to still going to think it’s tacky. It’s so hard to please everyone!

 
15.
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Guest
Aim

Thanks everyone for the feedback! I really appreciate it. There wasn’t an rsvp to send back in the invitation, so maybe I’ll just send a card to be nice.

Thank you all and have a great weekend!

 
16.
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Jessica

I think pink (or any color, for that matter) vests would look too “high school prom”.

We did black vests / pink ties and they looked great!

 
17.
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Ashley

Here’s a question for you–is it appropriate to buy HIM a ring? My HTB gave me my engagement ring last Christmas–I want to give him one–something equally as beautiful and understated, but obviously more masculine–this Christmas. What do you think?

 
18.
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J

Ashley, I think it’s a great idea! And cute and sweet too. I know this is not exactly the same..but similar enough…I gave my fiance (then boyfriend) a promise ring a while back. He loves it and wears it everyday. And once he gets the wedding band he said he’s going to wear the promise ring on a chain around his neck.

The ring will symbolize your love… I say go for it!

 
19.
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kate

I need help! We’re getting married in NYC but many of our guests are from the midwest where it is common to bring presents and cards to the wedding. Therefore, we need some sort of card box for the gift table. Everytime I Google for ideas I come up with these birdcages covered in tulle or boxes that cost $100 or more! Our colors are all fall colors - eggplant, chocolate brown, burgundy, etc. with antique gold accents so I would love to get something simple, sophisticated, and that fits in. Any ideas? I’m willing to do some DIY but we’re getting crafted out so we would be happy to find something pre-made.

 
20.
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Yvette

Could anyone recommend a good save the date e-card site? We want to include our engagement picture in the e-card and would appreciate any suggestions. thanks!

 


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