Weddingbee Blog

hi, it’s my first time posting on weddingbee, though i’ve been an avid reader since day one!

i had to reply to this one, as i recently lost my mother as well. my heart goes out to your fiance, losing my mother was one of the hardest moments of my life. i know i will struggle for the rest of my life. the most difficult moments are when i think that my mother will not be here when i get married, when i have kids, when i accomplish my goals in life and various other milestones… sigh.

though i am far, far, far off from getting married (or even engaged for that matter), i have already thought of what i would do to honor my mom on that fateful day:

1- leaving an empty seat in the front row with flowers/corsage and a sign for my mother;

2- draping a framed picture of my mom on the wedding bouquet or wearing a pin of her picture on my dress;

3- making sure to include her in a toast during the reception;

4- wearing jewelry she used to wear on the day of.

Matt lost his grandfather - which he took quite hard, so in order to remember him on our wedding day, I got him cufflinks with his picture in them. It’s a way for him to feel that his grand-dad is with him at all times. Also, he’s going to wear his grandpa’s old watch that day.

I lost my father a few years ago, and have been trying to figure out ways to include his memory in the wedding.

One of the things I am planning on doing is getting a small frame or locket with a picture of my dad to attach to my flowers. Maybe Mr. Violet could have a locket or picture of his mom in his suit jacket pocket.

By the way, I really like the candle idea at the reception (I think I am going to need to steal that idea).

I’ve had friends who left an empty seat–it’s lovely in theory–then regretted doing so only because it made them so very sad as they walked up the aisle and saw it there. I think candles and jewelry are a nice way to remember someone special on a wedding day. My best friend lost her mother before she married and had a “Memory Vase” filled with flowers and with an inscription on the table where guests picked up their table cards. It was very sweet.

A friend was married last September and her mom had passed away about 1 1/2 years before - they’d postponed in the hopes that she’d be there but it didn’t work out that way. They had her seat at both the church and the reception marked with a flower. As long as it doesn’t make you, your FI or his immediate relatives too sad the day of the wedding - do it. It made me feel very sad for her and her father during the reception but as long as they thought it was a loving reminder who am I to think twice.

my late MIL passed away a month and a half before our wedding…i also wondered if it was an act of God that she lived through years of her sickness only to pass on after having met me and hearing me promise that i would take care of her son and family. my heart goes out to you and mr. violet.

to honor my MIL’s memory at the wedding, we included a dedication to her in the program and had a white rose at the alter table during the ceremony. we also included a note in program to let people know that the rose was there in honor of his mother’s memory.