Nightmares Part II

September 14th, 2006 @ 5:15 pm by Mrs. Butterfly

I woke up from the most horrendous nightmare this morning.

I was getting ready on my wedding day, and for some reason my groom didn’t show up. I searched high and low for him for 3 days. Finally, my brother and I found him at a hospital morgue, listed under John Doe. They needed us to ID the body. As soon as they showed a bit of his face, I recognized his eyebrows and knew that it was him. Apparently, a car ran over him.

Fast forward, and I am home in our apartment. I see my dog and I completely lose it. Mr. Butterfly usually walks the dog, and I just couldn’t bring myself to admit that he had died. All of the sudden, I remember all the little things that he does for me around the house. And I feel so lost because I don’t know who will take care of me. I’ve always thought of myself as a strong person, but I feel like I can’t go on.

I’m still in my apartment with the dead body (don’t ask), and I keep bargaining with it. Please….Please wake up. Please don’t be dead. I will give anything for you to be alive again. I also kept telling myself that it was a dream. This couldn’t be real. How could he be gone? But I could not wake up.

The longer the dream went on, the more I believed it to be real. Finally, I woke up. For a few seconds, I honestly thought the entire thing was real. And I had to reach over and wake him up, just to make sure he was still alive. Once I knew that it was all a dream, I started bawling like a baby.

Poor Mr. Butterfly. I couldn’t even stop crying long enough to tell him my dream, so he was so bewildered and just held me until I stopped. I’m having a hard time shaking that feeling today, so I called my mom. She kept asking me if I had actually seen the dead body. Of course I had…it was in my living room! Apparently, in Korean folklore, seeing a dead body in your dream is a really good sign. I swear, that is the only thing that really made me feel OK about my dream. Leave it to mom to save the day!!

I know it was only a dream. But the feelings were real to me. And after last night, I can honestly say that I truly appreciate every little thing Mr. Butterfly does for me. I know that I am strong, but I don’t ever want to think of a world where he is not my partner for life.

Have you ever had such a dream?

Tags: dreams, new-york |

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9 Responses to “Nightmares Part II”

Guest

alessette

yes, it freaked me out so much I did the same thing you did after I woke up… poked him until he woke up and then started hyperventilating….

9/14/06 @ 5:25 pm (reply)

Guest

Tristan

YES. It was the worst dream I’ve had. And it’s hard to wake up and feel like it never happened. It’s like the dream follows you around all day!

9/14/06 @ 5:37 pm (reply)

Guest

Amber

Is this a wedding-related thing? I’ve had that kind of dream a ton of times- also some where my teeth fall out, but that’s something completely different. It really just scares you, doesn’t it? I recently had one where my dad died, just like that. I was so freaked out I had to call him to make sure he was alive, it was SO real.

9/14/06 @ 5:49 pm (reply)

Guest

Jessica

Worse, I’ve dreamt before that FI was a vampire and I had to kill him, despite my love for him. It was terrible.

9/14/06 @ 6:02 pm (reply)

Guest

Aww…I’m sorry Miss Butterfly…I guess I’m lucky in the sense that I’m not engaged yet but I know how you feel because I’ve had very realistic dreams that involved my bf before. I would be totally devastated if I had a dream like that and I can completely understand you crying in your FI’s arms afterwards. My bf said he even heard me whimpering in my sleep once, when I had had a bad nightmare!

9/14/06 @ 6:57 pm (reply)

Guest

kanipark

aww man… that’s a horrible dream… i would have felt the same way & cried like a baby too

9/14/06 @ 7:19 pm (reply)

Guest

jenn

yes!!!!!!!!!! i’ve had taht dream recently and it is TERRIBLE!!!!!!

i try to treat every single day with fi as wonderful and cherishable as possible b/c i know that people can be snatched from you in no time. i’m kind of morbid in that i think about it a lot. what does that say about me?? I dunno!!!

9/14/06 @ 8:22 pm (reply)

Guest

i once had a dream where a very old friend of mine was being beaten up by her husband. i could barely breathe afterwards and woke up crying. (i’m teary now just thinking about it!)

the weird thing was that dream husband looked and is nothing like her actual husband, who is such a wonderful, kind and gentle man.

9/15/06 @ 9:28 am (reply)

Guest

catherine

I had a dream earlier this week that I was shot by some crazed lunatic running around the building with a gun. I actually felt the panic and the fear when he fired at me. I was lying on the floor bleeding, thinking about how much I don’t want to die and desperately begging someone to call my FI on my cell phone so I could talk to him because I knew I couldn’t bear to die without telling him how much I love him, when I woke up. It really freaked me out and took me a few mintues to realize I was ok, it was just a dream. Needless to say, I didn’t really sleep the rest of the night, but I did spend the rest of it wrapped tightly around my FI!

9/15/06 @ 9:49 am (reply)