Weddingbee Blog

Private Letters
originally posted Tuesday, May 16th on my xanga blog

Another year, another Mother’s day.

I’ve had bad years (spent depressed and in tears), I’ve had bitter years (fights with everyone around me for weeks, hate everyone who has a mother), I’ve had intensely stressful years (anxiety attacks and physical heart aches) but finally, it seems that I’ve gotten to the acceptance phase. Sunday came, Sunday went, and I didn’t shed a single tear. We each bought a dozen roses at the local florist and after cleaning off the marble headstone and arranging the flowers, we sat and chatted and I told lil sis stories about Mom. I’m sad that she can’t remember anything about her but I suppose it’s hard to remember anything from age 4.

Before we left, Steve took a few photos of lil sis and I.

See? No tears. Smiles, even! It was a nice day and for the most part, we were all in good spirits.

Then I asked Steve if he would take a picture with me. As he handed lil sis the camera, he reached into his back pocket, pulled out a white envelope, and placed it in front of the headstone before walking around to where I was squatting.

Me: What’s that?
Steve squats, doesn’t say anything.
Me: Steve, what is that?
Lil sis: smile! 1-2-
I stop talking, smile, Steve leans in and whispers- “I love you, Jenny.”

I stand up, lean over the stone for the envelope. Steve stops me.

Steve: Hey! It’s a letter addressed to your mom. You can’t read it!
Lil sis: don’t touch it!
Me: LET ME READ IT.
Lil sis: Ok, let’s go.
Me: Noooo… I need to read it!
Steve laughs. They each hold a hand and lead me towards the car.

I’m dying of curiosity. What did he write in the letter?
~~~
Do you see that?
The way he looks at me?
Lilsis was able to capture the exact moment he finished saying he loved me in the above photo.

That look…
That is the reason I love him so much.