Weddingbee Blog

Chris: I will also be taking my future husband’s name. I thought of being Mrs. Hill and later Dr.Kim, but then he said, “I will be supporting you through med school,” so I’ve decided to be a Hill all the way. Call me old fashioned, but I don’t mind be a part of the Mr. and Mrs. X Hill team.

Ald: I plan on announcing my wedding party. I want us all to walk down to a fun song and have them all enter in feeling special.

Two friends and I are the bridesmaids for our other friend who recently got engaged. We were wondering, do the bridesmaids usually just take charge with the bachelorette party planning, with input from the bride when we need? Or is our job to let the bride plan everything she wants and basically put her ideas to action? (Basically, how do we balance taking the burden off her shoulders while getting her input?) Also, who pays for the bachelorette party?

On the name-changing decision — I had a related question. How does it work when you decide to keep your name only professionally? But does all your work stuff stay in your maiden name even if your new identification (i.e. driver’s license using husband’s last name) now doesn’t correspond?

Ditto Felicity, down to the Asian heritage thing. I think our kids will have his name with my name as a middle name, though.

Obviously my reasons are VERY personal and I do think whatever each person wants to do is truly up to her. But my thinking was this:

I really haven’t managed to come up with a reason that I find compelling enough to change it and lots of reasons why I don’t want to change it. Professionally is a big one–I’ve moved around and up in my industry and I want to keep that history. Also, there are lots of “traditions” that I personally find archaic–and this happens to be one of them. I believe that my friends, family, and children will have lots of other life issues to be confused about besides trying to remember my last name! And if they don’t, it’s no big deal.

Have you thought of doing a pro-con list? They can be really helpful sometimes.

Good luck!

Chris- I think it’s the ONLY traditional thing we’re doing!! I want the family (IN THE FUTURE!!) to have all the same last names.
I’m only sad about losing my cute scribble maiden name signature.

I am not changing my name because like others mentioned, I just couldn’t find a compelling reason to. I think my name suits me well and I have some publications under it. Our children will have his last name because he feels strongly about that and I’ll remember who popped out of me regardless of their name.

The name change was a HUGE decision for me (as it is for everyone). I took my maiden name back after I got divorced from my first husband and was convinced that I would keep my maiden name for the rest of my life regardless of whether I got remarried or not. However, I decided that I wanted to have the same name as my future children (no kids with the first hubby). Plus, as childish as this may sound - his ex-wife kept his last name and I didn’t like the idea of another woman out there with MY husband’s last name!

question: we got the idea to have our 2 flowergirls wear qi paos. we have 1 ringbearer. would it look funny if he walked down the aisle in a tux? my mom mentioned that he should wear a chinese outfit as well, but i’m having trouble figuring out what that should look like. there are a lot of little boy “kung fu” outfits, but i’m not sure that quite matches a qi pao in formality.

my other thought was that when a bride changes into her qi pao at the reception, the groom stays in his tux and it looks fine, right?

thanks