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In today’s beehive:
To add your question to the beehive, leave a comment below and we’ll update this post to include your question. See all past beehives here.
jelly - i’ve only gotten one engagment announcements and i’ve been to many wedding. so i don’t think it matters, only if it matters to you 
lanamia - i had a similar problem. my parents were against us living together before we were engaged but afterwards they did say that it made more sense and we’re getting married anyway… are your parents helping you pay for rent? because if they are i think they have every right to tell you if you can live with him or not. but if you are, i think you should write the pros and cons and talk to your parents again. good luck!
jelly - i haven’t received any engagement announcements. granted, none of my friends had engagement parties either so i guess it just depends on the couple.
lanamia - if you figure out a way to pursade your parents, let me know. good luck!
i also have a question. i was wondering if anyone knew where to buy oversized cardstock [like 8 1/2 x 14 or 11 x 17 and so forth]. i’d rather not have to pay per sheet.
Jelly, word spreads fast via word of mouth. I don’t think you need to send out an engagement announcement - I’ve never received one myself either.
Lanamia - there is no way my parents would have approved of me moving in with mr. bee… but we got engaged and then it became ok. is there any way that that’s a possibility? i find the most conservative of parents seem to loosen up once your engaged. good luck!
Tea - I’ll let you know if I come across something…
lanamia- after FI and I got engaged, I moved in a few months later. Granted, i was living with my parents at the time. they had a hard time with it, but it helps that im only a couple miles away, and i go visit often. i think that kinda softened the blow, you know? i was very afraid of my grandparents knowing, but in the end, everyone still loves us the same! And plus they love hearing all the stories of us living together and working out the quirks. good luck!
i do have a question…i have been speaking with a DJ that came highly recommended to me from a friend, and my MOH was a guest there, and said he was perfect. not too much, but not to boring.
anywho, he gave me the info, and said i can come see him at a wedding this weekend, to make sure that we like him. I am kinda weirded out that I would go to another reception and stand in the back to “spy” on the DJ.
thoughts? anyone do this? thanks!
jelly - i’ve been to several weddings but have yet to receive an engagement announcemenet.
lanamia - i’ve lived with my FI for four years now and my parents haven’t had a problem w/ it. you can tell your mother that living together will help you save money since you’ll be splitting the bills, rent, etc.
lanamia - my now-FI and I moved in together last fall. we were both paying rent, so he decided to buy a house and have me move in. my parents and GPs were VERY disappointed and vocally opposed. I tried to stress to them this is our decision, it would make me happy, and it was a step in our relationship, not an endpoint. (I actually got the cow/milk speech).
okay… i have to ask… what is the cow/milk speech? o_O
alessette, it’s the whole, no one buys the cow when the get the milk for free thing. basically why you’re supposed to wait until you’re married to have the sex
Thanks for everyone’s response. After doing some more research, I think engagement announcements are pretty rare these days. Some etiquette websites even discourage it. Or course, all the stationer website encourage it!
Lanamia - my parents were ok with it once they knew we were going to get engaged. I think it also depends on people your parents know. My parents saw that alot of kids of our family friends did the same so they started to understand that for our generation, it’s not as big of a deal. They didn’t explicitly tell my grandparents or aunts/uncles but they don’t go out of their way to hide it either. Good luck!
repeat question: any recommendations for korean salons in the nyc area that does a great and affordable job at straight perms?
new question: my mom is throwing me a bridal shower with her korean church friends making up most of the guests. any ideas for appropriate yet fun/cute favors? thanks!
lanamia: my hubbs & i lived together before we got married… at first my mom was against it, cuz she didn’t want her friends thinking badly of us (and her)…
first of all, i don’t think she should tell her friends anything anyway… but she was much more comfortable knowing that we were engaged… to her it was more committed… tha just being gf & bf…
Lanamia - My SO and I have lived together for over a year now, and the wedding is still 20 months away!!
At first it was a bit of a problem… but my family grew used to the idea. They thought if we lived together, we wouldn’t be able to make it work. Well, it’s working. We not only live together, but we both hold down 2 jobs together!!
Hi Lanamia! I am still living with my bf and we are not even engaged yet. My parents were opposed of the idea since I would stay over every weekend, which later became every week, which is now pretty much permanent. haha But back to the point, they have now accepted the idea since we’ve been together for 5 yrs now. Just promise to visit often and go home for family dinners.
Lanamia- I was riding with my father in the combine (I grew up on a farm) a year ago and he said, so this this with A is getting serious? This is probably not very father like, but why haven’t you moved in together? I about died. So needless to say, it was ok with everyone except his grandparents when we did move in together in August. And since we’ll be married in 65 days, we haven’t told his grandparents. Good luck!
jenn - you’re looking for a straight perm and not a magic perm? i don’t think they should be too expensive at any of the salons in ktown. straight perms are a lot more affordable than magic perms. try giving hidy a call.
also favors for korean church women - they like practical things like pens.
good luck!
Jessi - We had several DJ’s recommend we spy during other people’s receptions. All assured me the brides are asked this before the wedding and they only offer if the bride is ok. We went to a few and actually ruled out some based on seeing them there.
jenn — i threw a korean church people bridal shower; it was primarily the bride’s mom’s friends. it was themed as a “cooking” bridal shower, and i asked each woman to give the bride a recipe.
for favors, i gave the guests a choice — i knew some liked to garden, so i had potted herbs. for those who didn’t garden, i made a little basket with muffins and scones and jam for breakfast the next morning.
I am considering of hiring a day-of-coordinator for my special day. I was wondering if I am supposed to provide a seat for her during the reception? Since I am paying per person for dinner, that would be an extra cost to me. Please let me know..Thanks!
Thanks for the advice guys! You guys are awesome. Seriously, I asked the same question on theknot NEY forum and got eaten alive. I don’t think I’m ever going back there.
You bugs are fantastic!
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