Reader Buzz: Cheating
October 12th, 2006 @ 12:27 pm by Reader Buzz
Mrs. Bee here.
Our last reader buzz was about cheating nightmares - I guess everyone has them! Now I don’t feel like such a freak! 
So yesterday I was reading my friend’s astrology advice blog ElsaElsa, and she had a great post about a cheating spouse. It was about a woman who was happily married for twelve years with two children. She recently discovered that her frequently travelling husband had had numerous affairs. His defense was that all men do it, it’s natural, it meant nothing, and that it was just sex. She doesn’t think he’s going to stop and the worst part is, she’s trying to figure out what she did wrong.
Now I’m not going to deny that I’ve imagined myself in this type of scenario a million times - even long before I met Mr. Bee. Could I forgive a cheating spouse? I know the answer is not so black and white when you’ve been together so long and especially when children are involved. But I really don’t think I could.
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9 Responses to “Reader Buzz: Cheating”
oh thats the best thing ive read all day! hehehe
*reference to elizabeth’s comment above heheh not to knock ur post or anything mrs. bee…. 
I answered no. Been there, done that with a former boyfriend of many many years. I thought we could get over it, but he did it again and the whole thing was torturous. I call the ensuing year the year I didn’t sleep. It was positively awful. Keep your chin up, and move on the first time it happens. There are men out there who don’t do this - I don’t care what the cheaters say about it “being natural.”
i know myself, and i know that if my man lied to me about anything like that, i would not be able to sleep. i would constantly be thinking, is he with her, where he is? why is he late? who is he talking to, why doesnt he answer the phone? etc…….
once you lose that trust, its gone.
Here’s another question, based on your third option in the poll: Which would be worse? A physical affair with no emotional attachment, or A sexless emotional affair. They asked that on the Today Show a few weeks ago, and it really stumped me. I don’t know which would be worse…
JB: Good question. I’m stumped, too!!!
we actually had that question asked in a psych class i took. i think they said something about it splitting based on gender…women would be hurt with a physcial affair while men an emotional affair. of course there are some variances.
while i would be put off if my guy had a physcial affair, i picked emotional then because i know i would be devasted if my bf/dh chose to turn to some other woman for emotional support, something i should be giving to him. especially since i’m an emotional type of person. and i still feel that way to this day.
I would absolutely NOT forgive him, and it would be the end of our relationship…and vice versa. We don’t believe in cheating…and I despise people that do that…I don’t know, it’s just….wrong.
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I read somewhere that when you dream of a cheating spouse/bf, it means that, in reality, you are feeling the most love possible from them. So, whenever I have those dreams, I consider it a good thing!