Wedding Blog
The one piece of advice that most of my married friends have given me is, “Get a ‘day-of’ coordinator.” From what I hear, their services help make the wedding day go smoothly without you even thinking about things like when to do the first dance, when to cut the cake, is the air conditioning up too high…
I mentioned the idea of getting a ‘day of’ person to my Mom a few month ago and she was less than enthused. We argued about it a bit and then I dropped it, thinking I would win her over later. Yesterday, however, the subject came up again and she was very opposed. In her head, it is a waste of money because we can do everything ourselves. True, I think we can, I just don’t want to do anything that involves coordination on my actual wedding day. What’s your take on having a wedding coordinator for the big event?
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i’m planning on getting a coordinator when i do get married because i really don’t want to have to think about anything on my wedding day other than not tripping over my dress. if you honestly can pay for peace of mind why not?
how much do day of coordinators usually cost?
We had to work way too much at our own wedding. We thought it would be really simple too, but the day of is such a frenzy, simple tasks like coordinating a rehersal tend to be very difficult. If there is one thing I would have done differently is would be to hire a coordinator. Hire one! That is my advice.
Anyone in the SF area looking for day - of coordinator … I am available for service! =)
get a “day of coordinator” that is a responsible friend to run the show… or get two friends to run the show. that’s what i’m doing, and of course it’s free of charge.
definitely you should not be thinking about details of keeping to a schedule on that day - it’ll be too hectic and you will be pulled in too many directions to be able to even remotely enjoy yourself.
I am glad you posted this. My FI and I are leaning towards hiring a coordinator (full, not just day of) but I know it will not go over well with the parental units. I’m curious to see what you decide to do!
My mom was opposed, too, so I hired the Coordinator myself with my own money. With two months to go she has already been the best thing I’ve spent money on - and that includes my dress! My mom is coming around. You just don’t want to mess with putting out favors and arranging seating cards on your wedding day. It’s not worth it.
It’s so nice to hear others say they think this is a good thing to do. I know not everyone wil feel they need a day of coordinator, but I really really want one! Lets hope I can talk my Mom into it. I said I would pay for it, but she was still against it since I think she things it’s a waste no matter who shells out the bucks. Sigh. I will keep wearing her down!
I really want to hire one for the wedding day. My site has a coordinator, but it leaves me wondering who will make sure the vendors arrive? Set up and decorate the tables? Seating cards? etc. And, if the site coordinator does that, who sets up the flowers at the church? Makes sure everything runs smooth during the processional? Not our reception site coordinator, that’s for sure.
I am hoping to hire one so we’re not stressed out the day of. However, if I have to part with another $500 right now we’ll be living on bread and water until our wedding day next year.
it took a bit of convincing to hire ours too. in the end i won her over. i didn’t want to be the one doing things the day of and worring about things and i didn’t want her to either. i wanted her to enjoy the day. in the end she agreed. i decided to pay for the DOC myself, although she offered. i hope it was a wise decision and worth it in the end. we’ll see.
We decided a day of coordinator would be worth the money because although my family/friends would be willing to do the stuff our coordinator is doing — I wanted them to enjoy the day as guests.
Trust me, you DON’T want yourself, your BMs, GMs, FI, families, or whoever to run the day. I’m speaking from experience, as the MOH for more than one of my best friend’s wedding. So stressful, so tiring, yes we were nevertheless happy, but it just really took away from the whole experience. Not only were the attendants tired, so was the bride herself. You kind of become “numb” and not “all there” anymore by the time you stand at the altar due to.. hunger, fatigue, stress. I’m not trying to scare you! I’ve been to weddings where there was DOC and there wasn’t, and you could just see and feel the difference. Good luck!
I think it is a great idea, but as I have mentioned before, my MOH and the church coordinator got into a power struggle, and that led to the grandmothers not being part of the processional, and a few other things that REALLY make me feel bad. She was supposed to be the best Day of coordinator in my area, but I felt like she was a prima donna when it came down to it. Watch out for that–and make sure you let her know what you expect. I think I “trusted” mine too much, and tried to be friends. You don’t have to be friends. Good luck!
I ran my brother’s wedding and I can honestly say it was one of the most stressful days of my life. It’s a lot more difficult when you know everyone that’s involved - and they tend not to listen to you as much as an actual coordinator. Also I was so busy running around making sure everything got done, I didn’t have time to take pictures, eat a single thing or enjoy the wedding at all.
I wouldn’t recommend asking a friend or family member to coordinate the wedding- they should be there to enjoy themselves. My wedding coordination days are officially over. 
when would you recommend hiring a day of coordinator? a couple months prior?
oh yah - and my wedding would not have gone half as smoothly without my planners!
ms - i hired mine about a month before the wedding. most day of coordinators like to have a month so they can work with you on the schedule and various logistics.
I had to convince my husband, (fiance at the time), to hire a day of coordinator. We both agreed afterwards that it was the best money we could’ve spent. It was definitely nice not having to worry about a thing and letting her take care of everything. I was definitely glad that all my friends and relatives were able to enjoy the day without stressing over when to do what..etc..
great idea… the hubbs was actually our “day of coordinator” due to the fact that i was getting ready with the girls… he was soo~ stressin’ the whole time… he wanted to make sure that everything was perfect 
too sweet~
Growing up, there were always a few ladies that my mother knew (and mom too) who were able to help with this at weddings. They knew when people should go where, where to place things, what etiquette dictated, etc. You’d just ask one of them to help, and that would be their present for the day.
Perhaps you could find a friend or family member to do that sort of thing for you. Personally I don’t feel that the coordinator is a *waste* of time, but I don’t think I would be as trusting of them as I would be of family or friends as far as knowing what I wanted and how to treat those around me.
I haven’t really thought about getting a day of coordinator. I’m gonna look into it. But if anyone in San Francisco needs one, I vouch for Janie. She was the coordinator for my friends wedding and did a great job, we didn’t have to worry about a thing.
thanks ally!
my wedding venue had terrific coordinators so i didn’t need one, but i’ve been to plenty of other weddings where the bride either hired a day of coordinator or asked a family friend who is uber-organized to do it. it definitely takes away stress from the little details so you can really enjoy every moment of your wedding day.
Definitely! This is actually my second wedding. For my first wedding I did everything myself and on a very tight budget. The fact that I had no help from my ex should have told me something, but… Oh well, it’s all turned out for the best. I am with one of the most wonderful men alive. But looking back, a coordinator would have been a great help. I had a very detailed itinerary and to do list for the day and my mom said she’d handle day of logistics. Of course we all ate very little and drank some champagne before the wedding. My mom doesn’t usually drink and she was way too emotional to deal with all the little loose ends. Unless you are sure your volunteer is amazingly organied, on the same page with you on everything and detached enough to not mind missing important parts of the day. Hire a pro. You’ve worked hard enough.
Well worth the money. I’m getting married this Sunday (10/22) and hired a coordinator 4 weeks before. Wish I had hired her earlier. It’s not like I didn’t have a lot of big things done, but she followed through on everything and made very good suggestions for those vendors I had not yet found. Definitely hire one that seems to have your sensibility and whom you click with. Go with your gut. Good luck.
I’m toying with the idea of getting a friend to help out - not a super close friend who will be terribly upset that she can’t party at the wedding - more of an acquaintance who is super organized and great at throwing parties, and has helped at other friends’ weddings. I will probably give her some kind of gift like a 2 night stay at a B&B for her and her husband, something like that.
Miss Lilly maybe your mom would be amenable to something like that where the person is not your “official” wedding coordinator, but who knows that it’s their job to make sure everything goes smoothly. Good luck, and keep working on your mom!
My DJ worked with his wife and her job was to coordinate my reception and always be there to pull me away for a dance or a toast… it was like a two for one.
After going through two weddings in our family so far, my Mom and her sister (between them they have 6 daughters) fully agree that hiring a day of coordinator is worth every last penny. Needless to say, we’ll have one. It is so worth the money!
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Miss Lily, New York/Tucson
Age and Occupation in 06: 30, Public Health Researcher
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 30, Art/Web Stuff
Engagement Date: February 11, 2006
Wedding Date: April, 2007
Venue: Tuscon, Arizona
About Me: Here are some things I love?�‚�? painting, drawing, knitting and all other crafty things (including glueing popsicle sticks together); burritos (must be from Arizona); indie/70s rock; whiskey; dogs (if only my tiny apt could support one!); bad TV; and reading. I'm also crazy indecisive so fingers crossed wedding planning doesn't kill me.
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