Weddingbee Blog

We’re kind of opposite from Jamia-we have direct deposit into a joint account and then we each maintain small personal accounts which we only use for gifts for one another. Since we live together we just pool all of our money and pay for everything out of that one joint account. (It probably helps that we make about the same amount and neither of us are big shoppers, etc.)

We each have a couple of accounts. Our paychecks go directly into our joint account, out of which all major bills are paid, even bills accrued before marriage (like dh’s student loans).

Each of us also has a personal checking account which we transfer a weekly allowance into from the joint account. This we use for birthday gifts for each other, and fun stuff we want just for ourselves, like my riding lesson, his guitar lessons, CDs and video games for him, pedicures books new camera for me.

We have a joint savings account that we are saving up for emergencies now and eventually for a house downpayment. That money, as well as 401Ks, my employee stock plan etc are joint money.

I also have a savings account that I had been working hard on before we were married. For now that is our emergency money while we save up a joint emergency fund but after that it will be my money. I don’t know what I will ever do with it but we agreed that since I worked so hard on my own to save it, it should be up to me how it is spent (if ever).

Maybe it’s because we are in our 30’s and both established in our careers and used to living very independent financial lives, but we decided to maintain largely separate financial lives. We did open a single joint account and opened one joint credit card. We each put a set amount (which we came up with based upon our respective salaries) in the joint account each month and we pay rent, groceries, utlities, the joint credit card, etc. from the account. Everything else (my pilates lessons; his sports tickets… we pay out of our separate accounts). Obviously there are expenses here and there that don’t fit perfectly into this system, but we don’t fret when one of us pays more - it works out over time.

We did not live together before we got married, so about 2 weeks after the wedding, we got joint savings and checking accounts. At this point in time, I am the money maker. He will finish school in May, then he will be the primary money maker. Fortunately, we don’t see our money as “yours” or “mine.” We have set up a budget and try to stick to it as best as we can. We don’t ask each other for permission to buy things, and if it is big enough that we think the other may not “approve,” then we discuss it together. Those are purchases that usually involve some thought anyway, so that’s a good way to get each other’s input.

Our parents were all financially stable and have been open with financial advice for us. It’s helpful to have people to talk to who have been there, done that.

We’re not married yet, but we’ve already discussed the finances because it’s a big issue to FH.

My parents have completely joint accounts. They share everything and they both know about eachother’s purchases. They have the same spending values, so it was never a problem for them.

FH’s parents on the other hand have no joint accounts whatsoever. They have completely different spending habits, so they just kept their money completely separate. They split up who would pay what bills and everything.

FH and I decided that our money would all go into a joint account, and that we would share any bills and expenses. However, we have different savings habits (I’m a saver, he’s an investor), so we decided to keep our own accounts for that. Of course, he would let me know how much he’s taking for investing, and I would let him know how much I’m taking to put into savings.

We already run big ticket purchases by each other, so it’s second nature. The arrangement we came up with is pretty much the set up we have now, and it works for us.

I cannot recommend this book enough:

The Money Book for the Young, Fabulous & Broke by Suze Orman.

Suze’s book deals with merging finances, as well as buying a house, raising your credit, purchasing a car, investing, saving, etc. I just gave my copy to a friend whose dad is a financial planner and she came back at me with: “My Dad has NEVER taught me any of this stuff!” I highly recommend it (I know, I sound like an infomercial) to any of you who are remotely interested in learning how to better manage/merge your finances.

As for me and my fiance, we have separate accounts for now. Once we get married, we’ll have one joint one for monthly bills and “together” fun money (dinners out, etc.) and we’ll each contribute an equal proportion of our income (since he makes about 1.5x more than me). Then we’ll have separate checking accounts for our own fun money (pedicures and books for me, basketball shoes and running gear for him), and a joint savings account.

I love this topic! My bf and I will soon be closing on a house (next week! eek!) but we don’t have a joint account yet. I always mention it to him but he is so lazy to open one. I think I might just have to do it w/out him knowing. We’ve been together for almost 5.5 yrs so I think it’s about time we have one.