Reader Buzz: Asking For Cash

Reader Buzz: Asking For Cash

October 23rd, 2006 @ 12:23 pm by Reader Buzz
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Do you think asking for cash instead of traditional wedding gifts is tacky?

Reader Buzz: Asking For Cash : wedding features registry Cash2 cash2.jpg

These days couples are marrying later in life or for the second time, and may already have all the items that would traditionally be on a registry. So alternative cash registries - down payments towards a house, a honeymoon, school tuition even - are becoming more popular than ever.

According to this Detroit News article, advice columnist Amy Alkon says, “It’s tacky to ask for money.” On the other hand Peggy Post, the great-granddaughter-in-law of etiquette expert Emily Post, says “alternative registries” are acceptable. But she also says that if you do decide to go the alternative registry route, you should have a traditional registry to give guests the option.

Sound advice because some people just don’t feel comfortable giving or feeling obligated to gift cash. Even when gifting cash is part of your culture, it’s still a good idea to at least have a small traditional registry. So let’s find out your opinions on cash wedding gifts!

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7 Responses to “Reader Buzz: Asking For Cash”

Guest

generally, if your traditional registry is quite small, guests will either give you cash or buy something not listed on the registry.

i don’t know if this is a regional or not, but most people consider this the “polite way” to set up a cash registry.

10/23/06 @ 1:09 pm (reply)

Guest

Are these people saying it’s tacky according to American culture? Because isn’t it vice versa in most Asian cultures (it’s tradition to give cash gifts at Asian weddings)? I just think it isn’t fair to judge the expectation of receiving cash when that may be part of the couple’s culture. It would probably be best to have a traditional registry anyway in case there are some guests who aren’t familiar with cash wedding gifts.

10/23/06 @ 2:08 pm (reply)

Guest

I agree with L. it is tradition to give cash gifts at asian weddings. there aren’t such things as registries at all.

10/23/06 @ 2:13 pm (reply)

Guest

I think the point is its tacky to *ask* for cash - via cash registries or putting “please give cash” on the invitation {shudder}.

Its not tacky to give cash in any cultural tradition I know of. Or even to hope for cash (and nudge it along with either no or limited gift registries as suggested above). Its not even rude to have your parents/bridal party tell people *who ask* that you would prefer cash to gifts.

10/23/06 @ 3:00 pm (reply)

Guest

Nony Mouse

Oooh, CS, you mean like that invite featured on etiquette hell that included the rhyme “We think it’d be nifty/ if it was at least a fifty.”?
The reason asking is rude is that you should never make your guests feel like a gift of any kind is required. If you think that you will get mainly cash gifts because of your culture, that’s fine; bringing a special accoutrement for the envelopes is fine and dandy; it’s not okay to make it feel like your wedding is an event that comes with a cover charge.
If I can’t decide on anything from a registry, I get a gift card. Typically to either Target (for those starting out on a tight budget) or Lowe’s or Home Depot (for those dealing with houses).
As mine is a wedding that will be some distance from our future house, we’re hoping that people decide to ship any gifts that don’t pack flat.

10/23/06 @ 4:45 pm (reply)

Guest

kanipark

agree with L as well, but since we have non-asian guest… we put red envelopes in all our invites & wrote something along the lines of “monetary gifts appreciated”

imma have to look again.

10/24/06 @ 1:36 pm (reply)

Guest

Sara

Tacky, Tacky, Tacky!!!
Just another confirmation that young couples today are so “expectant” of more, more, more!
A gift is a gift…..It is not a required “entry fee”

Family may wish to do this, but one should NEVER expect GUESTS outside the family to be instructed what to bring or do!!!

7/3/07 @ 12:14 pm (reply)