Wedding Blog
Mrs. Bee here.
I’m the first one in my family to enter into an interracial marriage - I’m Korean and Mr. Bee is half Japanese, half White. I must admit that before I met Mr. Bee, I never thought that I would marry someone who wasn’t Korean. Having a spouse that shared a cultural background was something that was important to me, and my pretty traditional family. But when I met Mr. Bee, none of that mattered because *cue cheesy music* I knew without a doubt that he was “the one.” 
Are you and your significant other from different racial/ethnic backgrounds? Has it presented any challenges in your relationship and your relationships with your families?
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Me & Andrew are both white as can be…but it wouldn’t have been an issue with either one of our families…okay, possibly my dad, but he’s not in my life, so that doesn’t matter…
And honestly, if Andrew was a different race and my family didn’t “approve”, I’d still marry him.
Hi Mrs. Bee,
I am white and my husband is black. I was worried about it at first but everyone has been wonderful. Both of our families see how happy we make each other and that is what has been important to them. I was especially worried because he has 2 teenage daughters from a previous marriage - I was afraid we would have issues with the ex. If she has problems with a white woman being involved with her girls, she has done a very good job of keeping it to herself. I feel very lucky!
Mr. Blueberry and I are both white, but he’s 100% German–it’s a big part of who he is–and I’ll be the first non-German to marry into the family. I’m afraid I’ve just got the generic mixed bag northern European heritage 
my fh is indian (as in, his parents are from india) but it’s not that big of an issue. my white (polish/italian/irish/french) family really likes him. my grandmother was won over by the fact that he was raised catholic (even though i wasn’t). of course, it’s a big joke w/ our friends because he is seriously white-washed and i’m really interested in indian culture, so a couple people refer to me as the indian half of our interracial couple.
oh, and when one of my uncles was told my fh was indian, in an amazing display of the lack of tack that makes my family both amusing and somewhat embarassing , he asked “dot or feather?”
Im with you Bee I always dated Asian boys (mostly Chinese) and I never thought I would marry anyone that wasn’t Asian It was important to me to keep my culture alive as much as I could even though for all intensive purposes I really am more American then Asian. I have grown to appreciate my culture and roots though and regret not trying to embrace it as a child Though I hated Chinese school as a child and swore Id never make my kids go I realize now how important it is for them to know their heritage and speak the language. And when I was in 6th grade and I read about the China adoption and what happened to baby girls no one wanted I decided that I would def adopt a baby from China when I got older. When I met hubby I knew he was the one. He really is everything I need and love in a partner so no doubts or regrets there Good thing for me hubby is all for the children knowing their Chinese culture and adopting from China. As for my family Im one of the youngest cousins so a few of cousins have paved the way for my family to accept interacial marriages. Hubby’s family was also fine with it and as my mother said to me “mixed babies are so pretty!” so I guess I have her seal of approval as well
It’s funny, because I’m half hispanic, half scottish, and I’ve only ever dated non-hispanics, in fact, I dated middle eastern guys for a long time. Paul (FI) is the only hispanic guy I ever dated, and now I’m marrying him. :)It’s an oddity to marry in our race in our family- my brother married an australian, my dad with my hispanic mom, my hispanic aunt with an African American, and all things like that. There is not one person in our family who has married their own race. I love it, there is no racism, we all love each other and potlucks are always great!
I’m Korean and my FI is half Italian half English. His father’s side of the family goes way back to the Mayflower! At first, my parents were wary about our relationship, but he’s took it upon himself to learn key korean words from me, to love Korean food and culture, and gives my parents the respect that they very well deserve. To them, he’s more “Korean” than some of the other korean guys I’ve dated in the past.
And he eats kimchi, and that’s important in my grandma’s book.
I’m Chinese and my FI is half Italian and half a mostly European mix. Like K, I am the first in my family to have an inter-racial marriage. Surprising to most, I’ve never dated an Asian before, only “white”. Luckily my parents and other family don’t care about race, just that their children are happy in their relationships.
My fiance is so excited about having mixed children, we fondly refer to our but-a-twinkle-in-our-eye-kids as “halfsies” and he thinks that halfsie girls “are totally hot.” He’ll be the proud father of a “hot” daughter … I don’t know if he knows what he’s getting himself into.
i’m chinese and he’s filipino.. i think my parents would have rather him be chinese but they like him so it’s okay..but now they’re pushing my sister to find a chinese boy..
I am Brazilian and my fiance is white American. Growing up in Brazil, race was never an issue, everyone there is mixed and “color blind” and very welcoming to other cultures. I am the result of a beautiful mix of Portuguese, Spanish, French, Middle Eastern and Native Brazilian. I am thrilled to marry someone of a different “race” and culture. As our pastor says during our pre-marital counseling sections “If we married someone that was just like ourselves, life would be so boring…”
I’m Chinese but never dated a Chinese boy till my FI - parents are more than happy with the out come. At the same time we are different Chinese - he’s Cantonese,I’m Chow Cho…
I’m cambodian and he’s white. It’s not a challenge bc we don’t let it be one. My parents wishes he would enjoy asian food more, but oh well…
i am korean; fi is jewish.
i thought that his parents would want fi to marry a nice jewish girl because he is the Good Son, and i thought my very traditional family would be a little reserved about accepting him (especially because fi cannot eat spicy food).
however, the first thing my dad said when fi and i started dating was “do you know they don’t celebrate christmas?” so know it would be okay.
oh, and my dad wanted to send fi’s parents a gift — for yom kippur. i had to explain it’s not really a gifty-type holiday.
I’m Chinese, but all my life I have had an aversion to dating Chinese guys. I hate to be shallow, but I just don’t find myself physically attracted to the body type. At all. In any case, it was hardly a surprise when things became serious with my British/Scottish-descent boyfriend.
Like Turtle mentioned above, my parents think my boyfriend exemplifies many of the traditional values (hard work, intelligence, modesty, etc.) better than a lot of the actual Chinese guys my age. I actually think my parents might like my boyfriend better than they like me! ^_^
I’m half black and half white, and my fiance is white. It hasn’t presented a problem with my family, because my mother’s side of the family is black and my dad’s side of the family is white/Native-American. So on my side of the family, it didn’t really matter. Some of my fiance’s family may have objected, but we really don’t care. Nobody knew I was half black until I told them. Most of them thought I was Mexican with my coloring.
However, if anyone had a reservation about it, they didn’t voice an opinion. My family absolutely loves my fi, and his family has taken me in with open arms. I couldn’t be happier!
Hi Bee! Ha, it’s your name. I know whatta geek I am to be so amused by it! Anyways, thank you so much for posting up my question about walking down the aisle, I’m still a bit undecided, but am leaning towards having just my dad walk me down the aisle. As for the interracial marriage, Theo and I are both filipino, however, I was raised with all the traditional filipino background. Theo, on the other hand, was more American raised. It has caused not a problem between relationships among our families, but more like “I don’t know what to say kind of relationship.” I wish they can talk beyond the, “Hi how are you,” but at least they don’t hate each other!
i’m filipino and he’s white amer/german.
as far as our families inter-racial marriage is more the norm in my family but in his family its going to be the first. his dad first asked if i was hawaiian and i said no i’m filipino… he then replied oh ok you’re oriental. his dad’s a sweetheart so i knew it wasn’t inspite. his family’s always made me feel like their own. they’re pretty open about new things, they just haven’t always had the chance to be exposed to them.
as for ourselves it’s not a biggie but in an attempt to expand our knowledge we’re actually both taking an asian american experince class. its an online class so all homework assignments are posted for everyone’s benefit. it’s interesting to read other people’s perspectives as well as each others responses to asian american experiences both past and present.
every relationship i’ve been in has been interracial.
i’m korean and black [yay hapas!] and my bf is black with a tiny sliver of white [i think like 1/4...just enough for me to make fun of him]. there have been no problems on either side. he’s always been interested in the asian culture and his friends used to tell him his perfect girl would be korean and black.
honestly, i don’t know any other way since i claim both sides of my racial heritage, the only way i wouldn’t be in an interracial relationship was if i dated another korean and black kid.
I’m Korean and FI is white… it’s been a challenge but I am very proud of my parents. Many of my parent’s friends have rejected possible suitors/gfs of their children if they were not korean (not even asian) but my parents have tried… although now wedding planning is very difficult because my parents are very korean in wanting to impress their friends…
i’m korean and the hubbs taiwanese… i always thought i was going to marry a korean, cuz i have such a mixed family, mexican, white, viet., native indian, etc… i wanted to make sure my kid could speak korean and not lose it like the rest of my cousins…
I am Chinese, and I never thought I would date anyone that wasn’t Chinese. My dad is very concerned about my Korean bf as I am getting very serious with him, since for a lot of traditional Chinese ppl, stereotypically, they think Korean men are all “wife beaters!” LOL…. I am still trying to convince my dad that he is def. not a wife beater, at least, he is ABK (American Born Korean). As for his side, his mom only asked him if he could eat “Chinese food” for rest of his life… LOL twice. Soon, he will meet my parents, and I can’t wait to see what’s going to happen. =P
I’m hapa too, half Chinese and half white, and my FI is full Chinese. It’s very easy with my parents because 1. they’re interracial too, so duh its a little easier for them to understand, and 2. I grew up in Hawaii, so different cultures are accepted and embraced there. As for his family, they’re actually pretty cool with me only being half Chinese.
In fact, I think the issue is not so much the fact that I’m only half Chinese, it’s more that I’m 4th/5th generation. All of the stress and issues that his family is going through now, I’ve never had to deal with that, the generations before me went through it already. I’ve come to terms with my Asian-American-ness, and my FI and his family are still trying to figure it out.
Hi! I’m filipino and my boyfriend is half mexican, half filipino. But he really doesn’t know his filipino side. He’s really “white - washed,” you could say. But it’s nice because I’m bringing out the filipino-ness in him! =oD Hehe. It’s great!
My fiance is half asian, and I know my father cares a little bit. Last holiday season he was singing “and may all your boyfriends be white…” to my sister and I, rather than “may all your christmas’s be white.”
I’m white and my fh is chinese. The families have adapted, more or less. And boy did we turn heads when we went to China! I guess they don’t see a lot of white girl/asian boy couples there–we didn’t see anyone else, and people actually pointed and stared at us. Pretty amusing.
I’m white and my FI is Korean. We’re basically the same as turtle…because my family on my mother’s side goes back to the Mayflower, and I’m part Italian. We were worried about his parents because they have always commented before on white girlfriends. However, they have been very supoprtive–probably because they feel like I am more Asian than FI, they always hope that I can teach FI some Chinese characters! My parents haven’t had any issues, although I think they are a bit taken back by the possibility of having a Korean portion of the wedding.
I’m Chinese Canadian and my bf is 1/2 Scottish and 1/2 Vietnamese. Although he has 1/2 Asian, he is not very in touch w/ his Asian culture. We are planning to get married, and we are forseeing some problems. We wish to have a western church wedding and a Chinese reception, however we are afraid of how both sides of the family will react to such different cultures. My parents have always wished I settled w/ a nice Chinese boy and am dreading tell them when decide to get married.
Additionaly, I would like to get some some more insight fr. Wedding on planning interacial weddings. For example, if both sides can’t understand each other very well…speeches might be a problem. etc. etc. My bf and I wish to have a wedding that includes both cultures w/o excluding the guests. Does that make sense?
I’m just like Jamie…I’m black, white, and Puerto Rican (dad is black, mom is mostly white and a quarter PR). The FI is 100% Greek. For my family, no one cares. It’s likely because on my dad’s side, there are other interracial relationships…and for my mom’s side, they’re mostly white anyway 
For his family, it’s not a problem per se, but the cultural and religious issues did arise. My FI is the first in his family to be born in the US. He is Greek Orthodox and I am not. His mom flipped at the beginning because she thought his marrying me would destroy all their traditions (religion, language, etc). The church thing was especially important because, similar to Judaism, the church is not only the religious center, but in some ways, houses many different cultural programs.
My efforts to try to learn some pedestrian Greek and assurances that our children will speak Greek and be Greek Orthodox have assuaged some fears, but it’s still fairly rocky.
I’m Korean and my FI is white, but luckily neither of our families have any problem with that. My parents are very traditional in some ways, but they have never made race of my boyfriends/FI an issue.
FI agrees with me how important it is when we have kids to have them be familiar with Korean culture and even brought up the idea of moving to Korea for a year to teach English and immerse ourselves in the culture.
i’m japanese and my FI is german/scottish/english. there have been very few problems w/ our relationship because we both come from cultures that hold similar values and work ethics. my mom loves my FI not only because he’s intelligent and nice, but he’s a “white handy man” as she likes to call it. she always tells me she would’ve married a white guy if it weren’t for the sex part of the relationship..lol. my dad likes him because he’s a nice guy that can provide for me. i think his parents like me overall but i do think deep inside they wish i were a little more independent.
i know this isn’t “mixed” but i am mexican-american–i was born here, but my parents in mexico– and my bf is straight up mexican, born and raised there. Even though differences aren’t terribly different, the american in me definitely shines through a lot more than the mexican. So my dreams of a wedding have all the american traditions, i.e. bridesmaids, moh, etc…his views are different. luckily, he’s flexible. my family was actually shocked when they found out b/c i’ve always been the most “american” (speaking less spanish, etc.) but they love him! 
I’m half Puerto Rican, half Chinese. My husband is full Puerto Rican. In my family it’s not a big deal b/c all of my cousins on my father’s side of the family are all mixed too (half Puerto Rican & half Panamanian, Irish, Guyanese, Polish-German, & Sri Lankan). On my mom’s side, most of my cousins are full Chinese except for 2 who are also half German. My husband’s cousins are all full Puerto Rican.
Our wedding was pretty much “American” b/c we didn’t have any cultural ceremonies & games.
The only time we seem to have a problem is when we’re in Chinatown, we tend to get stared at.
My boyfriend and I are both white, but I am from a really passive (though not pacifist) civilian family, and in his family — his parents met each other in the Army, he was in the Coast Guard, and his sister is in the Air Force. It’s definitely a different mindset, because I have to learn that I won’t always understand the way he thinks or some of the things he’s had to face in the military, and he has to learn to understand that even though I am a civilian, I can be just as strong as him, though in a different way.
I’m Taiwanese-American: both my parents immigrated from Taiwan, and I was born and raised in the U.S. I more “American” in my cultural behavior than Taiwanese. But now I live in Taiwan, where I met my FI. He’s half-Taiwanese, half-French-Irish-American. He was born and raised in Taiwan, but when to high school and college in the U.S. So in many respects, his acts and thinks more like a Taiwanese person. Locals here like to joke that although I look like a native and he looks like a foreigner, we’re the opposite on the inside.
He’s pretty cosmopolitan, having such a mixed background and multi-country upbringing (he’s also lived all over the world), and has taught me a lot about my supposed “own culture.” It really shows me that it’s not so much race but also ethnicity and the environment you grew up in. And even then, you have pockets within an environment. Even if you grow up in a different country, if you grow up in an expat community (or immigrant enclave) - the influences and experiences you have are definitely different than the influences/experiences in the overall country. Whew, complicated!
I’m korean, he’s white and my parents had an issue because we’re moving to his hometown (which is literally in the middle of nowhere) but they’ve accepted
however wedding planning…is a HUGE challenge right now…but does it all really matter in the end?
i’m a korean american and he’s white. i really thought i’d have problems with my parents but i was so surprised that they were so happy for me to have met someone so great. i had no problems with his parents. i’m glad to see that interracial marriages are so much more accepted now a days (even with the traditional, 1st gen koreans). all i get from my parent’s friends are how cute our kids will be
Wow, I’m so jealous. It sounds like everyone is having little to no problems with their interracial relationship. Mine’s on the bad side of the spectrum. I’m Korean and and my FI is Vietnamese. For those of you who are Korean, you’ll know that conservative Korean parents really frown upon it. On top of that, my family is strong Christians and his family is devout Catholic. It’s been a struggle since the first day my FI met my mom when we were dating. He said hello and she wouldn’t look up from reading her newspaper. I was so embarassed and ashamed of her actions. It got better during the 5-6 years we’ve been dating but it’s only because my FI tried SO hard to please my mom.
Now that we’re engaged, she’s acting worse than ever. To appease both parents, we were going to have, on the same day, a Vietnamese tea ceremony, Catholic ceremony, Christian ceremony, Korean reception and lastly, Vietnamese reception. All that was needed was for both sets of parents to attend the other’s religious ceremony. My mother even refused to attend the Catholic ceremony. Now, I’ve decide to not have the Christian ceremony/Korean reception since my mother is acting this way. It’s been really tough so I’m glad that most of you have it easier.
my fh is chinese american (2nd generation) like me. he’s the first chinese american i ever dated. we’re not the same ethnic chinese though. his family is fukienese from the phillipines, and my family is cantonese. go figure… for his parents it’s an issue!
oh… fyi, saying i’m cantonese and he’s fukienese is like saying i’m from new jersey and he’s from new york. CRAZY parents!
i’m chinese, and my husband of 2-months-now is indian, we both are malaysians though. anyway, at the beginning of the relationship, my parents were really cheesed but later came to accept him as a person. thats 3 years!
now they took him like their own son and they were just simply fabulous helping out with our wedding preparations (as the last few days were mad house!), and socialised like butterflies @ the wedding reception! my dad even called for a separate dinner to accomodate to his friends and relatives!
a quick note to TheBrideToBe: hang in there, u’ll be surprised a lot more of the couples out there are having it really tough! i know of a girl’s mom who lodged a false report against her bf causing him to be locked up, and both are of the same race! perservere through, and u’ll see how God’s gonna bless your relationship both with ur future husband and families! huggies
my SO is white and i’m korean. my parents have become much more liberal and easygoing since everyone has left college and it looks like i’m the only one in the family who will be getting married anytime soon, so i think they’re just happy that i’m close enough, rather than caring about his heritage. i dated a white guy before so i guess i prepared them enough. plus, he loves kimchee and asian culture and he is so sweet.
his family is very very liberal so it seems like they could care less what color skin i have, though i’m the first non-white person any of their children have dated.
Hi, I’m Korean and my fiance is Taiwanese. I have to say that when we were dating, our cultural differences didn’t really get in the way nor was it really noticed; however, with the wedding planning, I have come across some differences that leave us both a lil uncomfortable…mainly from our parents.
Hope your wedding planning is going well~
My FI (as of last night!) is filipino, and I’m white (swedish/norwegian). In his family, I thought it might be an issue, but then I realized that almost all the relationships in his family (siblings & cousins) are interracial, so that was a pleasant surprise. His parents and extended family call me a filipina because I like watching the filipino channel (I like seeing if I can pick up any tagalog) and adore the food. I thought it’d be more of an issue with my family, not because they wouldn’t accept him, but because they wouldn’t understand. I was SO wrong. They absolutely love him. We joke about have racial issues a lot, but we definitely don’t.
I’m Jewish and my fiance is Catholic. If my mom didn’t love him so much I would basically be “forbidden”.
We are doing an interfaith ceremony with a priest and a rabbi, and she does have a problem with it, but I have to give her credit that she’s putting it aside and going with the flow of things. She does love him a lot, and she knows he’s “the one” for me.
my bf and I have been dating for alittle less than 4 years and we’ve been friends for much longer and things are starting to get more serious with the “M” word. he’s russian and I’m filipino, which, as weird as it is, really isn’t since we consider each other more “new yorkers” than anything else. my parents, especially my mother, for some reason just loves him ( first guy she offered a cheek and a hug for a greeting!) but i think that’s because he eats anything she puts down in front of him. his parents and I are getting along fine, and the moms so far like each other, we’re crossing our fingers! ( wedding planning will definitely be veeeery interesting)
i am black and my fi is white. our immediate families have been outwardly very supportive and his family adores me. but my aunts & uncles, cousins, etc. are uncomfortable with our union. its quite frustrating because they have often said inappropriate things to me, and as I make a guest list I really do not want to invite them. My family is a stickler for etiquette and i just may be forced to.
even living in nyc, we often get dirty looks and people have even yelled at us on the subway. we try not to let it bother us, because our love is stronger than ignorance.
I am Taiwanese and my Finace is White. I always liked white boys. But that could be because as I grew up, there were no Asian people around.
Despite that, as I got older, my most serious boyfriends were always Asian. I never found being from the same cultural background to be easy because if you assume someone is just like you - then I think it’s easier to make generalizations about the other person and if they don’t conform to what you assumed, it’s often harder to work through. I know that was the problem I faced with a lot of my exes who were also Taiwanese or Asian. They would make assumptions about me, and I would rebel against them - because while I am very proud of my heritage, it is one part of many others that contribute to who I consider myself to be, not all encompasing.
And I think for this reason, my hubby to be and I are solid with each other. We’ve both always felt like rebels and not quite fitting within our own families at times… so now we fit together and are working to start our own family together. I like to think our children will be the ones to reap the rewards of our combined experiences and knowledge.
my parents do like him and i get along okay with his family as well. i think it comes becuase no matter what cultural background you come from… i really think it will work so long as your values and goals are in line with each other
I’m Korean and my S.O. is White. I never even think about how we’re in an interracial relationship until someone points it out or my boyfriend jokes around about it.
I always told my mom when I was growing up that I was going to marry a White guy. I didn’t go around searching for a white guy, because I did date Asian guys most of the time.
I’m not going to deny that some of my friends have commented on it and we do get looks from people every now and then, but it doesn’t phase me. I’m happy with him and we’re in love so that’s all that should matter, not the color of our skin.
I’m Chinese American and my FI is White American. His dad is an Archie Bunker type racist and it bothers me though we never really get into it. Other than that, our parents our fine with us getting married. I know my mom likes my FI because she offers him food… she is like the food nazi - no food to friends of my brother and me if she doesn’t approve of them. But like many interracial couples, I am also having a hard time planning for a wedding that will include a balance of both cultures. Mostly, finding a way to include my Chinese heritage. I’m having a church wedding even though my family is Buddhist because his family is Christian, and an American reception in a Ballroom, which will include a tea ceremony in another room during cocktail hour. What else can we do to add more Chinese tradition to the wedding?
Leishia, thanks for the encouraging words. Right now, I’m traveling abroad for about 3 months so I don’t have to deal with it until then.
I am in an interracial relationship. My fiance is Indian and I am from Guatemala. I just started my blog, you are invited to read at http://www.guateindia.blogspot.com
I’m Filipino-American and my bf is African-American. Though I know a lot of black and filipino couples or black and filipino people…and though I have a lot of family of mixed ethnicities, I’m the first in my family to date an african american so its a shock for a lot of them. It’s still a concern on my side of the family cause my parents, especially my mom disapproves. That’s why I haven’t brought him home yet. I’ve been dating black men for a long time now. Its just an attraction I have towards them (black culture is beautiful) and I have nothing against Filipinos. I’m as Filipino American as I can be and most of my friends are Filipino. I think my mom is concerned more now cause “maybe its not just a phase” and I’m getting close to that “marriage age”. I’m happy with my bf. I love sharing my culture to someone else. And though we can be completely opposite at times his family welcomed me with open arms right off the bat…and I hope one day my family can do the same.
Hey,
I don’t even know where to start? I’m in a interracial ralationship. I am indian (from India) and he’s from Korea. Man, when I met him, I definetely didn’t think I’d be dating him, because I’ve always dated Indian guys. We were friends for a LONG time simply because I really didn’t think that he liked the Indian side of me. Then I got tired of it and I asked if he really liked me. It turned out he did and he was open to learning about my culture also.
My family is definetely not up for it. In fact, when I started to talk to him for long hours they told me not to date him. Man, I knew I would not see the end of this, so I was afraid to date him–for a long time. Luckily for me he was patient. We’re just dating right now, because I am scared out of my mind what my very traditional family will say. But I like him alot. He’s got alot of the meat and bones needed to hold a relationship together for a long time, especially when I’m frustrated. Plus he’s super open-minded and fun to be around.
I just pray for God to bless this relationship so that it can move onto the next level.
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