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Reader Buzz: Saying “I Love You”
October 31st, 2006 @ 2:02 pm by Reader Buzz
Mrs. Bee here.
Mr. Bee was very careful not to scare me off the in the beginning of our relationship, so he let me take the lead. He knew I was the one right away, but I was extremely skeptical, guarded, and cautious because to tell you the truth, I just didn’t believe in love for someone like me. I guess I was too practical. Not to mention that I didn’t believe in long distance relationships.
It took me a little while for all of it to sink in. But once it did - it was actually me who was the first one to say, “I love you.” This was around 2-3 weeks after we met.
So who said I love you first and how long did it take? 
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PS - Mr. Bee came up with the idea for this reader buzz. Please feel free to provide suggestions for future reader buzz topics! 
28 Responses to “Reader Buzz: Saying “I Love You””
This is the topic of unending argument between my husband and I. haha… My husband sang a song to me with the L-word in it first… but I was the one to verbally say it first… so we fight for that claim. and we fight over who loves the other more…. and all the gooey stuff… ^_^
FI said it first. I think I (sadly?) believed I didn’t want to scare him and say it first, or that it was his duty. We said it after three months of dating.
It was very Sex and the City-esque, like when Burger says “I love you” and Carrie blurts it out right after he uncovers her mouth. I reciprocated right away because I had been feeling it, too, for a couple weeks. :O)
I don’t remember!! Neither does the FI 
How about this reader buzz: My best friend’s mom told her to marry a guy who loves her more than she loves him. This is so she’ll have the upper hand, and will be treated very well, with less chance of being cheated on.
In your relationships, who do you think loves more? You or your FI/DH? Do you agree with my friend’s theory?
My husband had never said it to anyone before and he had always wanted to save those three words for the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. I had been feeling it for a while, and apparently so had he. We both kept those feelings to ourselves until he blurted it out one night. I was totally caught off guard and replied with “what did you just say?!?!” followed with “I love you too.” At that point we hadn’t talked about marriage, but I knew his thing with those three words, so I had a great feeling and knew one day we would be married!
FI said it first, we hadn’t been dating for all that long, so I wasn’t ready to say it back yet. He still teases me for leaving him hanging but doesn’t regret saying it early.
The first time he said it, it was very romantic, we were sitting out in an empty field under a starry sky.
The first time he heard me say I loved him? He was on the floor of a friend’s bathroom during a party after having too many drinks and I was outside the bathroom with some drunken guy friends who urged me to help FI throw up by sticking my finger down his throat. I said absolutely not and they asked me if I loved him and I said yes without even thinking.
Even in his drunken stupor, FI heard me, so when I said it to him directly a few weeks later, he just said “I know”!
He said it first, only a couple of months into our relationship. He was looking at me funny, and I said something like, “what are you thinking?” and he replied, “I’m thinking that I love you.” Ooops. I wasn’t ready to say it back to him then, for a lot of reasons, although I knew I was in love with him, I just wasn’t admitting it yet, even to myself. Now we say it every day, several times a day. “Have I told you lately that I love you?” “Not in the last fifteen minutes, but it’s nice to hear.”
The soon to be mister said I love you first but that was only because we were in a long distance relationship and I didn’t want the first time I said it to be over the phone. Of course a few weeks later I broke down and said it over the phone (such will power I have. :P)
As for A’s question, I totally disagree. You should marry someone who you are equal with. Though if you marry someone who loves you more they may not cheat and they may treat you better, you will end up being unhappy because you aren’t with the love of your life and that can lead to an unhappy marriage just as easily. I say never settle for less then someone who you feel lucky to be with and who feels the exact same about you.
My fiance didn’t wnat to scare me off either, so instead of saying “I love you”, he hummed and sang “You Are My Sunshine.”
I kind of pondered it for a while and then mentioned it to my best friend who immediately exclaimed “He said he loves you!”
d- that’s really sweet!
my bf said it first. about a week after we were officially dating [we had talked for about 4 months before we actually got together]. the funny thing was, earlier in the conversation, i was listening to him talk and i suddenly thought, i love this man. lo and behold an hour or so later, he told me he loved me. that was the best feeling in the world
FI said it first. I had been feeling it for a while, but I was so shocked and happy when he said it first (the situation wasn’t what you would call “ideal”). Luckily he was hugging me at the time, so he didn’t see my shocked face. He had to wake me up from my happy stupor, however, by saying, “Joy? Did you hear what I said?” I responded with “I love you, too.”
response to pp - my mom told me the same thing. and some of my gfs mothers told them the same thing. but my mom had a different reasoning behind the “marry he who loves you more, not who you love” theory.
of course the ideal picture is that you and your fiance are both equally happily in love and that nothing would ever happen… but there are many women out there who are not just willing, but desperately wanting to get married to a man they love, but doesnt love them back, or atleast not as much as he should. she can get him to the altar, but she may never have his heart- because men in general will not be swayed emotionally regardless of what you try to get him to do, try to get him to feel.
on the other hand, i have seen ladies left and right fall for a guy for one reason and one reason only - because he sticks it out. if a guy is steadfastly loving towards a girl and keeps at it, i think most of the time, he will eventually get her heart. could be 2 months, could be 5 years.. but she will be won over. because women are led by their hearts, and eventually she will come to love him for the man he is for her. or atleast, women have that capacity…
this got long.. but for me, the lesson was not really to marry someone who loves me more than i love him, but to NOT marry someone who couldn’t give me what i wanted or needed from a relationship, no matter how much I did love him.. and i think its a lesson well learned =)
The fiance said it to me first after a month of dating. He just caught me completely off guard and I responded with, “Um… thanks!” I think I discouraged him with my answer because it took another year and a half before he said it again!
Now we say it to each other all the time and it’ll be at random moments, like if we’re waiting on line for the movies or if we’re eating dinner.
The ones I like best are when we’re at work and we do “hit-and-run” IMs where one of us will log on, say “I love you!” and log off. 
We both didn’t want to jump into saying such real heavy words, but we always skirted around it. We were already living together (we do everything backwards) and I knew we loved each other, but we both wanted to be sure. He used to say, “I… like you SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much.” After about 5 months, to celebrate him taking his bar exam, I took him to a nice restaurant. We were both taking big swigs of wine to try to calm our nerves. I promised that if he didn’t say it, I would say it first. Finally, right before dessert he said, “I… ” and stopped. Then he tried again. After about 4 times, he finally got it out, and I said it back. A second later, our waitress came out with two glasses of champagne because we looked like we were celebrating something special.
i think FI said it first.. well via text.. back when pagers were still the rage, he texted me out of the blue. and i got upset that it was a text message.. funny thing is i don’t remember when we actually said it verbally to each other..
he said it, but the story is quite amusing. it was about a month and a half into our relationship and i really wanted to say it to him first, but i had no courage. so my best friend suggested that i pick three random songs on my window’s media player and when one of those songs played, i had to say it no matter what. well, days passed and none of the songs played and i was getting more and more nervous. one night, he decided he had to call his best friend/ ex girlfriend and it couldnt wait till the next day (it was an emergency). so he talks to her for 45 minutes and one by one all of the songs play… i am in tears and he has no idea… so he finally hangs up with this girl and comes back to lay down with me and he sees that i am all upset and he asks why. i tell him “you missed it you idiot!” for some reason, he realized what it was and turned to me and said, “FINE! I LOVE YOU! THEREEEEE!”
it wasn’t perfect, but it did make me laugh!
I said it first after about 5 months of dating… he told me about a week later, on election day. We’d talked about this before we even knew we loved each other, and decided that we wouldn’t pressure the other person to say it after the first one. But man, that was the longest week of my life.
It was almost 2 months into dating and Fi said it first. We were in college and I was not about settling down into another long term relationship, I have just ended one 3 months earlier! After about 6 weeks or so, I knew I loved him, but didn’t want to scare him off so I kept my mouth shut. As soon as he said it, I leapt for joy and repeated it!
i don’t remember how many months it took us to say it, maybe 3 or 4. I do remember that I had wanted to say it for a long time, but I wasn’t going to scare him, and so i was going to let him say it first.
i took him back home with me to meet my family, and in the middle of goofing around with my mom and sister while doing the dishes, he mouths it to me from across the room and winks.
i just thought i had imagined it, and ignored it! poor guy! he said it again (out loud) a few days later, and i of course said it back.
Andrew was the one that said it first. It was about 3 or 4 days after we started dating (we’d been hanging out together for about a month before that). I knew that I was in love with him, but like many of you, didn’t want to scare him off. He just said, “I love you, Kayley”, right before we parted one night, right after we had started dating, and I didn’t hesitate to say it back, because I knew that he was “the one” even that soon into our relationship.
We say it all the time…random moments, in the middle of sentences, it’s wonderful.
my FI was the one who said it first, even though i felt the same way but was just too scared to say anything. glad he made the move!
my boy and i had been friends for years before we dated and we’d said “i love you” hundreds of times before but when we started dating it stopped. it was always on the tip of my tongue!
two months after we started dating my good friend died in a car accident and when he came over to comfort me i realized i had to make sure that he knew i loved him so i said it. i think he said it back that night, i’m not even sure!
we waited to say i love you until we were engaged.
Wow, good topic!
S and I were friends for about 2 months or so. One night we were on the phone (long distance also), and he kind of blurted it out. I was like, whoa WHAT?! The thing was, I felt the same way about him, but didn’t say anything. It was a sweet moment though
he said it first… but not until over 2 years into our relationship!
I’m relatively new to weddingbee, so i don’t know all the rules. Is there a reason why you almost never talk about sex? I always thought it was a huge topic in marriage, like the whole saving yourself til honeymoon, a reason why people divorce, ways to keep the relationship hot. Is it because you want to keep the site PG or that some of your moms/relatives/churchgoing friends read this?
A week after the day FH and I met, I got him really drunk. He was falling all over the place, calling his friends, and telling them that he was with the most perfect girl. I went back to school across the country but we started a long distance relationship, during which we spent many late nights on the phone (thank goodness for free night and weekend minutes!). Five weeks after we met, we were on the phone really late at night and he must have been extremely tired because at the end of our conversation he said “Good night, sweet dreams, I love you” and then started snoring!! I called him the next morning and he didn’t remember a thing…
I said it first after about a month and a half of dating. I had said it before, but this time was different. The other times I had said it, I was really young and I didn’t know what true love was. Imagine how devastated I was when he didn’t say it back right away. He had never said it before, so it took him a while (a couple weeks to be exact!!). But when he said it, I got butterflies all over again!
we met on oct 13th, friday the 13th and we kissed that night. i knew right away that i never wanted him to leave me. it was a very STRANGE feeling for me because i never really loved anyone, i’ve had about 4 boyfriends before him. we stopped talking about a week later because he said he was mormon and i flipped out. i am athiest and didn’t know anything. i would always ask his best friend how he was, luckily he told HIM about how i was still interested. i ended up cracking and started talking to him.
since then we have been going out. we have a conversation in the car about how people say i love you and never mean it and how i never really meant it to my other boyfriends, because they were the first ones who said it to me.
oddly, on the 10th of november we were at a friend’s bonfire, a fire next to us, freezing, under the stars, in a hammock, holding on tight for warmth. the entire time laying next to him i was thinking of how i would word it. thinking if my breath smelled!! i eventually got right by his cheek and said, “i never want to leave you.” i was planning on saying i love you after that, but he beat me haha. he said “i love you gina.” we held eachother even closer and cried!
i’ve never felt that feeling before and gives me goosebumps just remembering it. i am only 18 years old, in june he will be leaving for a 2 year missionary trip, i’ve never had this feeling.. i was the type of girl who was against marriage, pessimistic about boys. but i would marry this boy in a second. it is very strange, like i said.
i know he is the one.. but his religion makes us ending up in fights. i don’t care, i love him with all my heart and he has explained and told me in depth that he feels the same way. me on the other hand keep those strong feelings to myself so i don’t scare him! ha. he would like to get married when he’s in his early 20’s. when he comes back we’ll both be 21. i do not know if we will survive that two year gap.
