Wedding Blog
Mrs. Bee here.
Reader Annie left this comment on the last reader buzz, and for some reason, it cracked me up:
I’m relatively new to weddingbee, so i don’t know all the rules. Is there a reason why you almost never talk about sex? I always thought it was a huge topic in marriage, like the whole saving yourself til honeymoon, a reason why people divorce, ways to keep the relationship hot. Is it because you want to keep the site PG or that some of your moms/relatives/churchgoing friends read this?
Yes Annie, my mom does read this site, but that doesn’t really affect whether or not we talk about sex. And while we may not have talked about sex as extensively in the past, you’re right - it should be a regular topic of conversation here on weddingbee.
So let’s dive right into it with a poll.
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Share this post: Reader Buzz: Sex Life
Finally, something gooooood. We are in dry days, my FI and I. Once or twice a week, and that’s because he’s a (careful, TMI) morning person and I’m a 10pm, raring to go gal. So he gets home from work at 7pm, after leaving at 6:45am (when while awake, still comatose mentally), he’s exhausted. So, unless I accost him in his sleep, which wakes him up easily, I have to remind him. We haven’t gone so far as to “schedule” like that one poll, you did Mrs. Bee, but it’s getting close! Damn my honey working to support us! 
My jaw is going to DROP if anyone is actually having sex more than once a day.
I would actually prefer not to increase the sex discussions around here. Although I understand for some, marriage and sex are inextricably linked, I just think that there are too many varied opinions, and people have too many insecurities, to make posts about sex very productive or helpful. This site has a hard enough time meeting the needs of all the different types of weddings, let alone trying to tackle everyone’s varied interest in sexual topics.
i’m with miss ant. how do you find the time to have sex more than once a day, or even once a day? i’m so freaking busy, i barely have time to sleep! i guess i gotta start “scheduling” sex….=)
why miss violet, we did do a poll on that! 
http://www.weddingbee.com/2006/05/08/the-wedding-night/?pollresult=23
I agree with Kate - weddingbee should not get into the whole sex thing. It is a topic with varying opinions and comfort levels, and it would be really hard to write with all of those in mind. I’d like to see more posts embracing different types of weddings, esp. low budget ones!
A friend of ours (who is very happily married) once told my FH that the secret to his happy marriage is that he and his wife have sex everyday. He said sometime it even seems like a chore, but they do it faithfully. My FH and I tried it, but it didn’t last past three days. I don’t know how they do it (or did it, since they just had a baby and I can only assume they’ve fallen off the train a bit). But they are still happy.
I think an interesting question for reader buzz is “how many couples are getting joint bank accounts, have them already, or plan to get them but also keep seperate accounts?”
i have sex 2;s most days!! am i crazy? probably bc we’re both relatively young and i am just starting my career. but we have it twice on days we see each other which is like 5 times a week. does thta count as daily sex twice a day??
Beta,
Didn’t they discuss that topic recently? Or maybe that was on the knot. I’m getting my boards confused.
we didn’t do a poll, but there was a recent post on it…
http://www.weddingbee.com/2006/10/23/open-question-money-bees/
Bloodhound Gang song, “Do it like they do on the Discovery channel.”
while I agree Weddingbee should not be an online version of Cosmo, it is important to note this site is not about girls planning a cute tea party, but it’s about women preparing for the mental and physcial union of marraige. While most of us are feeling overwhemled with wedding preparation, let’s not forget to ask ourselves if we’ve neglected the needs of our parteners, and more importantly, ourselves.
I understand Kate’s concerns. But the poll was fun, if only because many of us have looked at our sex decline over the years and feel slightly insecure. To quote a cheesey movie,
“When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, and then it subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the desire to mate every second of the day. It is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every part of your body. For that is just being in love; which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over, when being in love has burned away. Doesn’t sound very exciting, does it? But it is! “
I think sex is a very important topic. Granted, that’s not what the site should be ABOUT, and I don’t think it would ever be like that…but I think polls, discussions, questions…would be perfectly fine.
I thought I’d pop back with a bit of clarification. I certainly agree that sexuality is important, and remembering to meet your own needs. What put up a red flag for me is that I’ve seen on so many sites women extremely concerned that they’re not having enough sex, or not meeting their partners needs. Often times people want some standard, or to know what’s “normal.” In my opinion, that needs to be worked out within your relationship. One couple could have sex every day and that’s great, while another is extremely content with once a month or less. I would hate for anyone to feel insecure about their relationship because of some blog posts.
Nice post, interesting to see how many times a week/month/year couples are having sex.
As Jesse mentioned, maybe being younger has something to do with it. We’re both in our early twenties, and we only get to see each other three days of the week, but we average two or three times a day when we do see each other. I suspect that will change when we move in together!
i think discussing sex is a totally relevant, interesting, and helpful topic to discuss.
i have no doubt that weddingbee would do it tastefully!
hi all, i was interested that the poll didn’t include the option of “we used to have sex, but now we don’t anymore”.
we made a purity promise recently, in prep for the spiritual aspect of marriage.
both of use have made mistakes in the past, and we decided it was time to start doing the right thing for our relationship. avoid taking the ghosts of the past into a new beginning, etc.
it’s been a few months now, and i can’t tell you how much it has deepened our relationship. i would recommend it to anyone. (although i can’t say it’s an easy thing to do).
along with what coralie83 mentioned, i thought of -have in the past, but not with current bf or fi, like waiting for mariage, option.
goes along with the mistakes in the past and a new start.
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