Register or log in —

Newer blog post
more in Blog
Older blog post
Newer blog post by Mrs. Plum
more by Mrs. Plum (oldest)
Older blog post by Mrs. Plum
Mrs. Plum's Picture
Mrs. Plum, Dallas Age and Occupation in 06: 22, Accountant by day/Floral and Event Designer by night and weekends Fiance's Age and Occupation: 24, Security Admin Engagement Date: December 31, 2004 Wedding Date: June 29, 2007 Venue: Marie Gabrielle Restaurant and Gardens About Me: I have been engaged for about two years now - yes, a long engagement, because my fiance and I wanted to wait until I graduated college, which I did this past summer! He proposed after dating just two months - crazy, I know, but 2 years later, here we are, still crazy in love :-). We are having not one, but TWO weddings and TWO receptions in one weekend - American-style and Vietnamese-style - in Dallas, Texas, where I was born and raised!
About Mrs. Plum

Inviting Xanga and Other Internet Friends

November 3rd, 2006 @ 12:44 pm by Mrs. Plum

invite.jpg

I kind of want to invite some people I’ve met via xanga and bonded with over the joy/stress of wedding planning to my wedding, but I have a question: Is that weird?

And another question: If someone you never met in “real life” but are “Internet friends” with (via blog, messageboard, etc.) invited you to their wedding, would you seriously consider going?

I need feedback on this. Please answer as honestly as possible. :)

Tags: |   Link for this post | Share this post: Inviting Xanga and Other Internet Friends      
Newer blog post
more in Blog
Older blog post
Newer blog post by Mrs. Plum
more by Mrs. Plum (oldest)
Older blog post by Mrs. Plum
advertisement below

18 Responses to “Inviting Xanga and Other Internet Friends”

1.
Guest Icon
Guest
Miss Kiwi

Miss Plum, funny you should say that. I’ve been “friends” with Miss Bluebell online for a while, we met on another website and then spent a lot of our time chatting about wedding planning, work, our real friends and things like that- she’s also helped me a lot with some logistics of our wedding. Miss Bluebell is actually one of my closest friends, which is odd because I’ve never met her in person, only seen pictures. Still, she is invited to our wedding. (although, with a year to go, she won’t be getting that invite for a LOOONG time). She’s a sounding board for me, which is why Mr. Kiwi is all for it, he loves how supportive she is for me, even if we’re not “real” friends. So who knows, the first time I meet her and Mr. Bluebell may be at our wedding! I say if you’re close, who cares HOW you met?

 
2.
Guest Icon
Guest
hm

i apologize; i would not go, and i would not invite. i would not want my wedding to be the first time i am meeting someone, or anyone for that matter.

 
3.
Guest Icon
Guest
Miss Kiwi

Sorry, Miss Plum, I forgot to add that for some people, I wouldn’t go. But for others, I would, if I were in that position. I think it depends on how close you get. Sometimes logistics make it hard to meet in person first, ya know?

 
4.
Guest Icon
Guest
wsukarebear

Beautiful invites, by the way.

I don’t think it’s weird, but it would really depend on the relationship as to if I’d “accept” the invite. One of the girls did this on the knot and some were really taken aback. I don’t feel like I know anyone well enough–save three women–from the knot to be part of an open invite to her wedding. So, I wouldn’t have been offended not to be invited. I personally cannot afford to invite a bunch of extras who haven’t even met FI.

A couple of us have bonded via the knot and email regularly and get together on our own–and that would make perfect sense to invite them and involve them, in my opinion.

The standard for inviting people to my wedding (because my list is currently at 400) was:
*Is this person family?
*Have they been there/been part of P’s and my relationship?
*Will we actually miss them if they’re not there? Will we think “oh, I wish so-and-so was here…”?

Of course, a knottie or bee really will appreciate the details in your wedding and will know a whole new side to the wedding that others will not. :O) Maybe there’s something to be said for that!

 
5.
Guest Icon
Guest
ck

i have to say i agree w/ hm. if i received an invite i would find it very awkward and would definitely not go - IF we had never met in person, regardless of how long we’ve talked via internet or how much.

along the same lines, i would not invite someone ive never met from the internet. i wouldnt want them to feel awkward or obligated to come celebrate the wedding of someone they have never met either…

 
6.
Guest Icon
Guest
Ruby

i agree with miss kiwi i have many great friends online and i find no reason not to invite them if ur friendship has grown so much. i know i probably will invite a couple of my online friends plus i met my FI online so it all works out. good luck with your decision

 
7.
Guest Icon
Guest
bluang3lbby

i am in the same position. my friend that i meet about 4 years ago online is getting engage. i was actually suppose to go to her engagement ceremony (dam hoi) but because of scheduling conflicts i wont be going. but she will not be getting married for another 2 years which is pretty long for a vietnamese engagement. we already have plans to meet up before her actual wedding. but since we been friends online for so long, i will definetely find a way to go to her wedding 2 years from now. that is if she will still invite me.

 
8.
Guest Icon
Guest
Mrs. Bee

i’ve seen many girls on messageboards invite girls they only know online. I suppose it is weird to invite someone you’ve never met in person to one of the most important days of your life. But with some people you just have a feeling that they’re going to be great friend.

i didn’t invite an online friend i had met only once before my wedding, and i still regret it to this day because we’re great friends now. we knew each other “online” for years.

of course i’m biased because i not only met my husband but some of my closest friends through my blog - but i really believe you can bond and form a great friendship online… :)

would i go? yes if i felt like they really were a friend.

 
9.
Guest Icon
Guest
Miss Bluebell

I want to pipe in too! For anyone else I’ve ever met on the internet other than Miss Kiwi, I would be SUPER freaked out if they invited me to their wedding, and would think it was really creepy and bizarre. There are other people I’m friendly with and have exchanged emails with, but I don’t consider them friends and would find the assumption of that level of closeness really weird.

However, Miss Kiwi and I live on opposite sides of the country (or else we would have met already) and talk on IM pretty much every work day since we both have very boring jobs. It started as just an occasional chat, but now I really do consider her one of my closest friends, even though I do get a wee bit embarrassed telling my “real” friends about my “internet friend.” Yes, it’s a weird concept, but whatever, over a year of IMing, we know each other really well, so I wouldn’t have the feeling of “meeting” her for the first time. I think about it like long distance match.com daters - they talk for a long time and get to know each other, then one person has to fly far away to actually make that leap in the relationship. If you live nearby, it would be weird not to meet in person sooner, but if it’s a long way, you just wait until you’re more sure or it’s more convenient. But since it’s even weirder to fly across the country for a platonic friendship, we just haven’t had a chance to meet yet, even though we have talked about how if one of us were in the other’s vicinity we would definitely arrange it.

That said, I am planning to go to her wedding and super excited about it!!! As an aside, I really want to invite her to my wedding too, and am hoping we’ll be able to, but since we have already invited too many people, she’s not offended to not be invited (I hope! ;-) ) because we are relatively new friends who haven’t technically “met.”

Basically, I think it is entirely dependent on your closeness with your internet friends. I never thought I would form an actual friendship over the internet, but if long distance relationships can work, why can’t long distance friends?? So just try to think of them the same way you do less close real life friends - is this really someone you care about having there, or more of a “oh that might be fun” vague thought, for someone you might never talk to when you’re both done with your wedding planning.

 
10.
Guest Icon
Guest
Marah

I have several close “Internet friends,” but my whole philosophy of the Internet is that if you have a great online friend, you should eventually follow that up with a real life meeting, however casual. So, I’ve met all of my current close Internet friends (I guess that makes them real life friends, now?). With some, we just did lunch or dinner, and others I see frequently. But I have friends all over the country, and some in Australia, so you can see how that makes it difficult to see everyone often!

I would definitely consider inviting any of these people to my wedding, and I’d certainly attend their weddings, if invited (and if it was feasible for me to make the trip). We may have met over the Internet and mostly only speak over the Internet, but they are still my friends!

That said, I don’t think I would invite anyone that I hadn’t met at least once. If I haven’t even been able to meet them for a short lunch or a movie by now, then they probably aren’t one of my closest friends. The same goes for attending weddings of people I haven’t yet met. If they *really* wanted me to be there, and they were local, I’d go, but not otherwise.

But I definitely don’t think it’s weird to consider Internet friends in your wedding planning. It’s very sweet of you to think of them! If it’s important to you to have them there, and your budget can handle it, then I say go for it. Haha, I’m a big proponent of Internet-to-RL relationships.

P.S. If it is just too weird to invite them because you haven’t yet met, what about asking them to lunch or something before the big day? At least then it would be less awkward at the wedding.

 
11.
Guest Icon
Guest
weddingwishes

i think internet friends are the same thing as “real” friends. i would not find that weird at all. an invitation is not an obligation. it is a gesture of friendship and meaning in someones life and internet relationships/friendships can be just as meaningful as “real life” friendships… if not, sometimes even more!

i wouldn’t find it creepy at all and i wouldn’t feel more obligated to go than any other “real life” friend either. i think its a sweet gesture from you!

btw, i love your invites! gorgeous!

 
12.
Guest Icon
Guest
Tea

i say it would depend on the closeness of your relationship. i have a small select group of people i met online that i would invite to my wedding [of the 3, 2 have been online friends with my bf...pretty much how i met them] because they’ve been with us the entire time. if one of them had gotten married and invited us, i would definitely accept. if it were anyone else, i would be flattered but not accept.

 
13.
Guest Icon
Guest
K

I’ve met quite a few of my friends online, so I really don’t think it’s that weird…although having it be the first time you’re meeting them might be a bit awkward.

I met one of my best friends online, and we’ve hung out a lot over the past 3 years, and I know she’ll be invited to my wedding. Another friend, I met via another internet friend, and actually traveled to Wisconsin to meet him! He’s a lot of fun, and he’ll definately be invited to my wedding!

 
14.
Guest Icon
Guest
Miss Plum

Thanks for all your input everyone!
It was really helpful - and no, i’m not crazy - I would never invite someone I barely know :-p

I was just curious as to how many people have done this - I am considering inviting a couple of people :)

I know that in the beginning, before I really got into online blogging/messageboarding, I thought it was so WEIRD how people would meet on the internet, but now it’s such a common thing…. funny how things change over time! :)

 
15.
Guest Icon
Guest
pam

there was a situation on my local knot board a while back where a girl who no one had met (she was living OOT but getting married in new orleans) invited a bunch of us to her wedding. they’d already paid for the minimum, but not that many people were going to go, so we all went. it was actually very fun. we all met the bride for the first time at her wedding, and she was so happy that we were able to go.

i invited several of my knot friends to my wedding, but i had met them all before then.

 
16.
Guest Icon
Guest
WeezerMonkey

I have been invited to one knottie’s wedding, and four knotties attended our wedding (our photog even got a pic of them!). We had quite a bit of real-life interaction beforehand, so the wedding was not our first meeting. They are no longer “Internet friends.” Now, we are all friends, plain and simple. :)

 
17.
Guest Icon
Guest
Angie

It depends on the person. But I guess the same would go for my pen pals. I’ve never met any of them but there are a few that I want there.
Like I said, it would depend on the person, for both, would I go and would I invite.

 
18.
Guest Icon
Guest
leishia

not weird at all! i invited some of my closer net friends to my wedding and most of them turned up and that was really a blessing for me!

and if a net friend invites me to her/his wedding, if we are close and have bonded over time, i would attend too.

 


You can also just...

Newer blog post
more in Blog
Older blog post
Newer blog post by Mrs. Plum
more by Mrs. Plum (oldest)
Older blog post by Mrs. Plum
Visit our sister sites Project Wedding
Wedding Songs
eHarmony Advice
Dating Advice
JustMommies
Pregnancy Calendar
Fertile Thoughts
Infertility Support
Copyright 2004-2009, eHarmony, Inc., Advertise
 


Sponsors
Mrs. Plum
Mrs. Plum Mrs. Plum, Dallas Age and Occupation in 06: 22, Accountant by day/Floral and Event Designer by night and weekends Fiance's Age and Occupation: 24, Security Admin Engagement Date: December 31, 2004 Wedding Date: June 29, 2007 Venue: Marie Gabrielle Restaurant and Gardens About Me: I have been engaged for about two years now - yes, a long engagement, because my fiance and I wanted to wait until I graduated college, which I did this past summer! He proposed after dating just two months - crazy, I know, but 2 years later, here we are, still crazy in love :-). We are having not one, but TWO weddings and TWO receptions in one weekend - American-style and Vietnamese-style - in Dallas, Texas, where I was born and raised!
Weddingbee PRO
 
Boards
 
Classifieds
 

Blog Calendar
November 2009
SunMonTueWedThuFriSat
1234567
891011121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
2930

Weddingbee Bios
Wiki
More