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Miss Kiwi’s great post today about competing with others’ “fancier” weddings has gotten me thinking about our own wedding (Mm? Think about my wedding? Pshaw!).
I’m 21. Mr. Blueberry is 23. So we’re both at the younger end of the marriage spectrum. Few of our friends have gotten married, but I predict there will be a *ton* of weddings to attend within the next 3-7 years. So it occurred to me that we’re probably helping to set the tone for weddings in our various social circles. Most of us are in the midwest, live in St. Louis or Kansas City, and are (or shortly will be) college graduates–a pretty typical sector. But more specifically, thinking about our respective friends from high school and college, Mr. Blueberry’s frat brothers, even our cousins–we’re one of the first couples in any of those groups to get married. In a way, I think we will have an influence on their weddings. Not necessarily the national trends–certain colors or flowers–but in the local tone.
I hope that in the coming years, we all have weddings that are unique and beautiful, reflecting each couple’s tastes and interests. But I also feel a little pressure (is this terribly self-centered of me?) that a lot of our friends at the wedding will look back on our wedding when planning their own–things to do or not to do, trying to recreate a fun, playful tone, etc. I think this is true because I’ve noticed myself doing it a little bit, just from the couple of friends’ weddings I’ve attended.
In your social group, are you the among the first, last, (or in the middle) to get married? Do you find yourself modelling your wedding (in one way or another) after your friends’?
i was 26 when I married, and I was still one of the first among my friends. But people in la/ny generally tend to get married later. 
i am surrounded by both groups of couples/people - those who are already married and those who are planning to get married…i try not to compare or think about other’s weddings in terms of following the “standard”…just trying to plan the wedding with our own personal touches
Oooh, good post Miss Blueberry!
I am the first among my group of friends to get married - which makes me happy (mostly because they are so excited to help me plan, and be my bridesmaids - whereas a few years down the road I’m sure we’re all going to be like *sigh* another wedding?). I see what you mean about setting the tone, however..
My guy is the LAST of his friends to get married (hes 35), and has already BEEN in over 10 weddings, including the most over the top Manhattan wedding I’ve ever heard about…so in that respect, there’s no competition because all of his friends are so gosh darn sick of weddings that they just want a keg.
I had a spattering of friends get married right out of high school (18-20), then a few more right after college (23 or so), and just recently a few more.
I’m 28 now, but I’m in academia so honestly the average marriage age is a bit later, and it’s totally acceptable to not get married at all if you don’t want to.
I’ve only been in a couple of weddings (a close childhood friend & my sister’s) because for the most part my friends have chosen to have very small casual party-style weddings without attendants. I’ve actually only attended one wedding that’s anywhere comparable to those that I’ve seen on the knot (and similar sites).
I’m 29 and probably 1/2 my friends are married and 1/2 aren’t. I definitely remembered good things from people’s weddings that I want to replicate (mostly things like lots of champagne, a comfy place to relax when you’re tired of dancing, etc.). There’s been nothing from anyones wedding that I thought was a failure, or bad choice, just lots of things that either aren’t us or wouldn’t fit into our other choices.
We’re in our early 30s… I’m one of the first among my friends to get married, but he’s one of the last in his group!
Out of my friends I’m the 1st to get married. I’m 26 and my fiance is 25. I have to agree with Mrs. Bee with the NY/LA people tending to get engaged later in age. Most of my friends who are in their late 20’s and early 30’s aren’t married yet.
People I know who did get married are people I went to H.S. with — all did because they got pregnant. I can count 6 of the top of my head right now.
We’re the first among Mr. Strawberry’s friends and my friends..but there are about 7 girls in my sorority group that are all getting married within a few months of each other.
It’s funny, in my circle, Everyone is single. EVERYONE. We are the only couple even serious. In Mr. Kiwi’s circle, they are all older married coaches, so their weddings are no-fuss weddings in the backyard. With the exception of one couple; the bride is younger than I am (I’m 27) and the groom is two years older, and they got married 2 years ago. AT THE SAME PLACE we are. BUT- this kills me :). The hotel did a complete renovation for our wedding! So when everyone comes to ours (and the ones who also went to theirs) and see the hotel, it’ll be a completely different place. Which is good, because I so didn’t want to have our wedding (albeit years later) be something people are like, “Oh, Rick and Sally’s wedding had an open bar.” or something like that. 
I’m 29, and I was the first of my college friends and near the last of my work friends. The hub is 33, and he is near the last of his friends. Comparing weddings is inevitable. We went to over a dozen between this year and last year, and I compared every single one. Can’t help it! At each one, I totally made mental notes of what to emulate and what to avoid.
I’m closer to the last of many friends to get married and while I have fond memories of how cute and happy all the couples were at their weddings, which is all that matters, there are definitely some things they’ve helped me decide I don’t want for ours.
FI and I have been to too many uber-traditional church weddings with ballroom receptions, all the usual trimmings, and mediocre food and know that those things just aren’t our style and that good food is one of our top priorities!
i’m the first of my friends to get married (age 24). but i generally dont talk about my wedding with them unless they ask… they’ve been mildly antogonistic about the whole thing :(. i think deep inside they’re happy for me.. but b/c they’re either single (not by choice) or in dysfunctional relationships, i sense that they just dont wanna hear about it. so…. they dont! 
I’m the very first in my circle of friends to get married, with my roommate following shortly after. I’m trying to make it fun and blend both of our personalities.
i’m 30. he is 26. ironically… more of his friends have gotten married than mine. HA! my female friends and male friends are all the career types that won’t settle down. so only two of my friends have married so far. his friends.. most of them are… so among his friends i’d say we were in the middle.
since weddings are, typically, a singular event, it’s natural to look at other people’s weddings as an example. we have no other frame of reference! its nothing different than getting inspirations from wedding magazines and shows.
but i’m on track to be in the last group of friends to get married [the weddings started my junior year of college!] so i now have a wealth of knowledge and reference of how i want to do things at my own wedding. it’s been great first hand researching. there have been things i liked and definitely things i wouldn’t necessarily do or would do differently so at least i know what’ll work. and now i get to just pretty things up to my liking.
We are among the last of our friends to get married (I’m 33, he’s 29). Actually my sister and cousin are now divorced so I feel like we’re wrapping up the last of the first marriages and the second marriages will begin in about 5 years. That sounds cynical but I mean it sincerely.
As for modeling our wedding, I think going practically last has freed us from some of the wedding industry stuff. We’re more comfortable taking chances than our friends and we’re also one of the few couples paying for it ourselves. Partly from having seen it all, done it all, partly from having minimum parental input and partly from just being old enough to care less about some things.
That being said, if we have a spare $200k we’d be having a kick ass NYC wedding with all the trimmings but that’s just not in the cards.
I’m the last in my group of friends to be married, and I want mine to be different from theirs!
we are among the last. during the time fi and i have been together, some of our friends have married, had children, divorced, and remarried.
we just don’t want our wedding to be stressful; that is our only goal. well, that and to actually be married by the end of the day.
I’m young too! but definitely not the youngest to get married out of my circle - many of the people i know got married in freshman year of college - i’m 22 and my fiance is 23 now and we both graduated college a year ago and have both been working full time since we were practically 16!
as for competition? I don’t really know - I don’t think we’re really competing per se with anyone - we just pick the things we like and go with the flow
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Mrs. Blueberry, Kansas City Age and Occupation in 06: 21, Full-time Student Fiance's Age and Occupation: 23, Full-time Student Engagement Date: September 10, 2005 Wedding Date: May 25, 2007 Venue: Wynbrick Center - a historic mansion in my hometown. About Me: We're having an intimate, 125-ish person wedding with a full-blown dessert reception. When I'm not obsessing over wedding stuff or studying for my BA in English, I'm usually playing with our two kitty cats, blogging, doing crafty things, or hanging out with Mr. Blueberry!
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