Weddingbee Blog

we’re having a destination wedding with close family and friends only. if we had one in our hometown, it would’ve been hell dealing with all the relatives, church friends of parents, etc, etc.

having it in mexico helps b/c they wouldn’t have a clue as to where to start. also, we are paying for about 60% of it with our own money so i think that gives us a lot of leverage in terms of what we will and wont do as well.

My parents are paying for almost everything, with my FI’s parents paying for some things as well. Luckily, my FI and I are not having to fork out any money for our wedding. My mom is extremely involved in the planning process but in a good way. My FI and I are both college students, and we are getting married in my home town, 2 hours away. I basically tell my mom what I want for what things and she gets them done. My mom has worked in the pageant industry for several years and therefore has a lot of connections (reception site, videographer, photographer, etc), which has helped us out a lot. My mom doesn’t do what she wants; she does what I want. I can’t begin to count how many times she has said, “This is your wedding and your decision.” I feel so blessed and stress-free to have my mom be so involved. Plus, I’m the only girl (I’ve got 4 brothers), so she will only get to do this once, and she’s loving it!!

much to my AMAZEMENT, my parents have not been demanding or controlling at all. i am planning long-distance, and they have been involved in the best possible ways — going to see vendors, dealing with venue issues, etc. my venue can hold 500+, which my parents could fill by themselves, but they agreed to a much smaller guest list AND they are limiting their guest list depending on our list.
mom did laugh at me when i told her that all the wedding dresses i had seen were strapless; yes, mom, i am flat-chested … thanks to YOU.

the inlaws have not made a single demand. their guest list has only their closest relatives (less than 2 dozen total), and other than that, they just want to know where the rehearsal dinner will be and where to write the check.

due to the fact that our families are huge and our parents know too many people we opted to pay 100% for a destination wedding with our closest friends and family which still equaled to 215 people although we’re only expecting 150, Our parents have been very hands off due to the fact they’ve dont even really understand the concept of a destination wedding.

however to please them we are allowing them to have an at home reception for 800+ people in queens. FI’s parents have requested for 40 tables, my parents have requested 25, which only allows us to have 15

My mom’s known me long enough to realize that I want what I want, and that’s how it’s going to be. That being said, I’m a budget-conscious bride, and pretty easy-going, but all the final decisions on decor and style and whatnot are really mine and FHs to make only, if we choose to.

I did just turn over a couple of things though, because I don’t care about the specifics of them and trust our parents’ judgment. His mother is totally handling the rehearsal dinner, and my mother (a florist) is picking out the flowers from my color ideas, but I trust them to do really nice things.

We’re also fine with invitations for all friends, but that’s still not a ton of people because our parents have lived in pretty much the sample places their whole lives and kept the same groups of friends.

my parents didn’t have a wedding [they went to the justice of the peace in korea] and my mom has no idea how western weddings work and only a small idea of how korean weddings are so she’s already told me that she has no idea what’s expected of her and apologized for not being able to help [and i'm not even officially engaged yet]. and since my wedding will be the first in my immediate family [my older sis eloped in vegas sans ceremony...i'm sensing a pattern] i’ll get to set the bar. so luckily, no outside pressure at all. unless my bf’s mom has any ideas but i’m not worried.

Well, my mom SAYS she’s going to stay completely out of it, because her mother took over her wedding to my dad (seriously, they got one table for my dad’s family and their friends - the rest of the VERY LARGE guest list was my grandparents relatives and friends).

However, in the little planning that has been done, she certainly let her opinion be know.

So we shall see…

We (read 90/10 Me/Him) are paying for this. His mom complains because we haven’t involver her more when she is several states away from where the wedding will take place. My mom has volunteered to go and buy and taste cookies from any bakery in the city we name.
Seriously, my mom lets me know when she doesn’t agree with my opinion, but she respects my opinion. Him mom has attempted guilt trips, but ‘attempt’ is the operative word. My mother’s guest list was 10 people (most are people I know), my father’s guest list only family I was already going to invite; his folks’ list was similarly mostly family. One exclusion has been made, because of… poor past behaviour at functions, but mainly I’m betting on the amount of people showing up to settle to about the number we’re using for budgeting (Family has to be invited, but are my cousins from Cali going to fly out? I doubt it.).