Wedding Blog

On a day off two weeks ago (YAY for public school holidays), I woke up at a decent hour and trekked to West Hollywood to attend the Brides Against Breast Cancer sale. As many people know, there was a kerfluffle that week because the BABC founder Fran Hansen’s truck and trailer containing approximately $3 million worth of dresses was stolen from their hotel parking lot in Scottsdale, AZ. The truck was so heavily stocked because they had just gotten a bunch of gowns donated from New York stores and designers for their LA show, which is one of their biggest all year. The outpouring of support was tremendous, including a donation from Maggie Sottero of 500 dresse, 500 dresses from Demetrios Bridal, and hundreds of dreses from David’s Bridal.

In any event, these types of sample sales often remind me of the episode of “Friends” where Monica is going to the Loehmann’s bridal gown sale with Phoebe and Rachel and arms them with whistles and aggressive attitudes in order to find her perfect dress. I don’t have those experiences because I’m not a sample size, so there’s really no rush for dresses I’d fit into. The funny thing is that the women are beating down the doors to get a look at several racks of size 6/8/10/12 dresses. For anyone who is size 18+, you get one rack. Maybe two if you’re lucky.

I digress.

So I went to the sale armed in my corset (I had Mr. Pearl hook me up before I left) and spandex shorts. Remember, you’re in the middle of the room and nobody, but nobody, needs to see my ass on display! I was hopeful that since a bunch of gowns had just been donated, there would be something in my size.

Oh, was I woefully optimistic.

In looking at the rack, there were maybe 15 or so dresses that would fit. There were really none that I would wear. For some reason, plus sized dresses are disgustingly ugly. I mean, U-G-L-Y, they ain’t got no alibi, they UGLY! Cheap, shiny satin, hideous plastic seed pearl and sequin beading. I mean damn, they’re the epitome of the 80s wedding dress. Sorry, just ’cause I’m plus sized, doesn’t mean I don’t take pride in my appearance! Every bride wants to look stylish and cute on her wedding day, not just skinny girls!

Needless to say, I left disappointed. Unfortunately I didn’t find any good looking veils or anything either, so I left empty handed.