Wedding Blog
My fiance is a Greek man. He’s the first in his family to be born in the US and his family are Greek Orthodox. On the other hand, I’m multiracial and I’ve never really followed religion. When it came time for us to start talking marriage, we decided from the outset that we’d be married in the Greek Orthodox Church. I love the churches themselves because they’re so gorgeous and filled with iconic imagery. However, I was a little confused about all the different rules and traditions. Unfortunately Mr. Pearl wasn’t a big help because he hasn’t been to many Greek Orthodox weddings, nor does he pay attention to the details of wedding planning (MEN!). 
A couple of things that surprised me:
1. Couples do not speak vows: the GO Church believes that the presence of the bride and groom before the priest signifies their intent to be married, so they do not believe the speaking of vows is necessary. You might find a very liberal priest who will bend the rules on this, but most will not. It is a tradition dating back thousands of years, so the church tends to frown on changing it up for your “special day”.
2. There are parts of the year when you cannot get married: I never had any interest in getting married on obvious Christian holidays (Easter, Christmas, etc), but I didn’t realize there were times of the year where G.O. folks were prohibited from getting married.
From the G.O. Archdiocese:
Marriages are not performed on fast days or during fasting seasons; these include the Great Lent and Holy Week, August 1-15, August 29 (Beheading of St. John the Baptist), September 14 (Exaltation of the Holy Cross), and December 13-25. Nor are marriages celebrated on the day before and the day of a Great Feast of the Lord, including Theophany (January 5 and 6), Pascha, Pentecost, and Christmas (December 24 and 25). Marriages may be performed on these days only by permission of the diocesan Bishop.
3. A Christian, non-Greek Orthodox who has been baptised in water can marry a Greek Orthodox person in the G.O. church…as long as you are not Mormon: they do not consider Mormons as “Christians”, even though they are technically a Protestant church. And in the G.O. church, non-Christians cannot marry a G.O. person in the G.O. church.
That’s just the technical stuff. Not to mention the traditions I was clueless about.
-The crowning: The best man, along with the priest, is in charge of the ceremony. He places crowns (called stefana) on the heads of the bride and groom. These crowns are linked by a silk ribbon, indicating that the bride and groom are queen and king of their home.
-Jordan almonds (called koufeta) are given to represent the sweet (sugar coating), as well as the bitterness (almond) of life. They are given in odd numbers to represent that this new couple being formed is indivisible.
-The bride and groom hold a candle throughout the ceremony (meaning that gorgeous bouquet that everyone wants will mostly just be seen in your personal pics, not ceremony pics)!
-Most things are done three times during the betrothal service, in reverence to the Holy Trinity.
-Though there are widely varying opinions on the money dance, Greeks do a variation of the money dance where cash is thrown at the musicians and the couple while dancing.
|
Share this post: Greek Wedding Traditions
i’ve seen a few greek orthadox weddings on tlc’s wedding story and thought they were gorgeous. needless to say i was very happy to find out one of my friends from college is g.o….
I just went to a friends greek-orthodox wedding– the ceremony was very long, very traditional, lots of chanting and rituals, but the wedding reception was fantastic and fun– wonderful greek old men just come up to the dancefloor and THROW LOTS OF MONEY at the couple– the whole night! They probably had thousands on the floor, it was awesome, made me want to be greek!
Have you seen the wedding scene in My Big Fat Greek Wedding? Pretty hilarious :).
One of the best parts is the dad’s toast:
“You know, the root of the word Miller is a Greek word. Miller come from the Greek word “milo,” which is mean “apple,” so there you go. As many of you know, our name, Portokalos, is come from the Greek word “portokali,” which mean “orange.” So, okay? Here tonight, we have, ah, apple and orange. We all different, but in the end, we all fruit.”
You are so beautiful! Doesn’t any of this creep you out? I like the part about not speaking vows, but the rest of the stuff is too much theatrical crap that you don’t believe in, isn’t it? So are you going to get dunked???? In our modern, sophisticated, world of science, sometimes you have to say no, this is superstitious theatricality is not for me. Although you don’t subcribe to particular religious dogma, is this right for you?
I don’t know. Maybe you want old Greek men yucking it up and throwing money at you, but you must have some beliefs about creation, death and a philosphy for living and I hate for you to sell your soul to a beautiful church and high drama for this marriage. I believe that religion is one’s philosphy for living, and maybe you have a philosophy for living that does not really fit the GO church. Maybe you are more Budhist, Unitarian or Quaker. All religions have a common set of principles (commandments) that are universal, so if the decision to marry GO is okay, then I understand. Religions’ primrary values are universal, so I can understand why you might choose the drama for your husband, but if you are planning on having children, I hope you will do this in good conscience. Tell them to include jumping the broom!
I’m Greek Orthodox and I’ve been to 5 non-GO weddings. Those to me were strange and different. Why getting married in the church is important for the Orthodox is that your marriage will only be recognized if it occurs in the church. This is important if you plan to raise your childern under the Chruch.
There is even an agreement between the catholics and the orthodox church that specifically these 2 intermarriages occur in the Orthodox chruch.
Best enjoyment will be to have the services held in both english and the Greek.
The money that would get tossed would go to the band so make sure you have arrangements with yoru band or DJ to split it.
Also, practice your Sirto..cuz the bride is the first person to dance at the wedding.
That was really helpful, thank you! My partner is GO too, and should we ever get married it is nice to know what’s in store.
I’m in the same position as you - not any specific religion and facing the choice to accept the GO church as my own. I have asked that we have both English and Greek in the ceremony though, so my family can understand!
Nancy who are you to judge, crticize, or question miss pearl’s decision? You make it sound as if she is making a huge sacrifice. Catholic, christian and greek orthodox are very similar, she did her reading and research and decided this was what she wanted (obviously). So perhaps maybe you should educate yourself.
I am marrying a GO in May. However, we are not getting married in the GO church much to his mother’s dismay. What ways can we incorporate GO into our garden ceremony? Thinking about having one of his godsisters read (in greek) about Cana marriage in Galilee?? Thoughts? Dont’ want to insult the mother or cause her any more embarrassment.
I think one of the most beautiful parts of the GO ceremony is the stefana. I had always been taught that it symolized the intertwining of two souls into one, which seemed so poignant to me.
Clare, the koufeta are one of the easiest things to incorporate into your wedding. There is also a tradition of attaching them to a small gift for each guest - the bombonieres, though I’ve seen the word spelled differently.
I am greek orthodox and my boyfriend is not. We understand my he needs to be baptized hristian the only thig that is annoying is I have no greek friends and I found out in the wedding the kombaro and komara has to be orthodox. I only have friends that are christian and catholic. Can they be this speacial person to perform the rituals. And why cant the god parents be christian or catholic? Is their any way around this?
My fiance is also Catholic. He does not have to be Greek Orthodox to be married in the Greek Church as long as he is Catholic or Christian, something close to our religion with similar beliefs. However, the kumbaro/kumbara does have to be orthodox, but does not neccessarily have to be your best man or maid of honor. My uncle will be our kumbaro but he is not from the wedding party.
Hope this helps!
Godparents have to be Greek Orthodox because you are promising to raise the children in the religon. If they are not G.O, then chances are the children would be either raised another religon or non at all.
I am engaged to a greek man who is about as greek orthodox as I am (I am agnostic- I don’t believe in organized religion. He attends church: Easter/Christmas and at an anniversary mass at the constant nagging of his mother!) I reluctantly agreed to get married in a GO to keep him mother happy. It’s not at all the ceremony I wanted but figured I would compromise. Now I find out the koumbara/koumbaro has to be GO so I have to compromise once again. In a wedding ceremony I don’t really want now I can’t even pick someone important to me to play a special part. Did I forget to mention now the children will be baptised greek and have greek godparents ? I just feel that it seems like if you marry greek and you are not now you will be greek and that’s it! It’s the greek way or the highway. A marriage is based on compromise on BOTH sides what ever your religion or culture. You just shouldn’t mess with a bride about her wedding! Now I know why Greeks should marry Greeks which I was totally against but now I get it. I just don’t understand where Greeks get off thinking it should only be their way what about the other party who may not be greek or GO it’s not just about one person! Maybe I’ll just skip the church on my wedding day!!
I have married a Greek guy. But I refused to get married in the Greek church. This caused a lot of heartache and threats and tears INITIALLY. But we worked out ways to incorporate Greek Traditions into the wedding.
We had an outdoor wedding on a perfect Autumn Afternoon. We had 2 readings in Greek (The wedding at Cana) which are traditionally read at GO Weddings.
For the ceremony we had greek favors, greek music, greek sweets etc.
The mother in law eventually got over it and even invited about 40 people whom we had never met before so she obviously wasn’t too embarassed about it in the end.
I told her that the children could be baptised GO if we could get married the way we wanted.
My fiance is GO and I am catholic. We are planning to be married in a GO church but would prefer to do it out of the state or even out of the country. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to find a church that will marry us if we are from out of town?
I was raised agnostic and am engaged to a GO man. He really wants to get married in the church, and I am okay with that, but I’m less sure about getting baptized. We have considered doing it in Greece because we heard that only one party need to be baptized. Does anyone have any information on this?
I am first generation Greek American, married 28 years and married a non Greek. We had a GO wedding and reception. Unfortunately we live in a town where I was the only Greek for years! I didn’t teach my daughters enough about the Greek culture and they can’t speak Greek. I really regret it. If you are non Greek, honor your spouses heritage and culture and incorporate it in your family. I feel like I sold out.
I’m engaged to a G.O. (who is not Greek by heritage) and will be baptized into the faith before the wedding. The traditions behind the GO wedding are more about the Orthodox faith than they are the Greek culture. The ceremony is beautiful, meaningful, and has been carried out the same way for 2,000 years. For a bride to change it for the sake of “her day” is, in my opinion, selfish. It’s also kind of mean. My fiance would have never proposed to me if he knew I wouldn’t have agreed to convert (I was raised Catholic) and I would never have said “yes” if I didn’t want to do so. Most G.O. are very steadfast when it comes to their religion, and by saying “yes” to his proposal, but “no” to his traditions (which were there before his bride-to-be was) just doesn’t seem fair.
my husband is a kumbaro ( best man) of his greek friend, and we heard that the kumbaro has to buy stuff for the groom,any thoughts about what are they could been?
@Clare:
Clare
I wantd to mention to you, while I think it is great that you have decied to baptist any children from your marraige greek orthodox, if you are not married in an actual church, the religion will not allow you to baptist.
In the eyes of God and the Church you are not married unless it is in a church. Since you mentioned it was a garden wedding, you are only married in the eyes of the law.
i’m Hellenic and so is my future husband. there is nothing more beautiful than keeping your heritage and Sharing it too. we are from 2 different parts of greece and found ways to share our cultures we know together. for instance he is from sparta and i am from the islands. its different philosophy and slightly different traditions aswell. but i respect his and he respects mine. that is why we love each other good luck to all those who have culture to hold onto and share.
| Visit our sister sites | Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Fertile Thoughts Infertility Support |
Mrs. Pearl, Los Angeles
Age and Occupation: 26, High school history teacher
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 37, Software engineer
Engagement Date: No official date, we just decided :-)
Wedding Date: July 2007
Venue: St. Anthony's Greek Orthodox Church, Ritz Carlton Huntington Hotel
About Me: Mr. Pearl and I have been together for about four and a half years now. We've been "engaged" since 2004 and were originally supposed to get married in June 2006, but postponed the wedding to July 2007. I love shopping for housewares and office supplies, music, reading chick lit, football, and the diverse world of Los Angeles dining.
| Sun | Mon | Tue | Wed | Thu | Fri | Sat |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 |
| 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 |
| 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 |
| 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 |
| 29 | 30 |
Latest Gallery Pics