Wedding Blog
The last time around, our final couple of months wedding planning were the suckiest. I know most brides think that the latter days of wedding planning are awful, but I feel like ours were truly bad. OK, maybe it was a sign we weren’t quite ready yet to tie the knot. But maybe it was something a little more?
I think we started planning for the wedding and stopped thinking about the marriage. Trite? Perhaps. But it also rings a little true. We loved each other…still do. But we didn’t know how to balance all the stress in our lives and as I became more manic about the wedding planning, it’s as if he shut down and became the exact opposite…fueling me to become more compulsive, and so on, and so forth.
My mom, ever the optimist (on Opposite Day) asks me, “How do you know that you won’t be disappointed again?” Honestly, I don’t. It’s a leap of faith, just like the whole idea of marriage. I love and trust Mr. Pearl to take care of me. I believe that we will be married. But God, how miserable would I be if I took what should be a sacred and happy occasion and became, in the words of Spiro Agnew, a “nattering nabob of negativity?”
As we laid in bed watching TV and talking last night, we both had one of those moments where we both realized, yet again, that we’re doing the right thing by staying together and getting married (and no, I didn’t read his mind…he told me).
It’ll be weird to call myself Mrs. Pearl after we do get married though. It seems like I’ve been thinking about it and planning for it for so long, the moment may be just too surreal.
|
Share this post: [We've Lost] That Loving Feeling
as a fellow bride doing the second attempt at a first husband (I cancelled my November 06 wedding in January 06 and am now getting married in March 07) I can absolutely relate 100%. Planning is so stressful and it’s so easy to lose sight of what it’s all about. Not to mention that the whole marriage thing is scary as hell.
But every once in a while I have a moment of recognition - I realize that everything is not perfect, but we can deal with it and I am doing the right thing, and it’s natural to be nervous, and overall this marriage thing is going to be okay.
I was wondering last night (after another testy discussion with my fiance about flowers) whether i’m the only one whose wedding planning has brought out unpleasant sides in a fiance/fiancee.
Is wedding planning really just a rosy experience for most people?
I never thought wedding planning would be very stressful because we’re two very reasonable people. A friend of mine who I vented to, thinks that the wedding industry (sorry weddingbee! but I still love your site!!) is to blame for our woes. The industry in general is overpriced (which creates financial stress and what couple doesn’t fight over how money should be spent??), they raise expectations of what a wedding should provide for the bride and guests and so we go nuts on the details (which takes time and the mood away to relax and chill), the aesthetics and what we think we should provide for the guests.
If there was no wedding planning, I think things would be fine. I like to believe that for everything else in life, a house, a kid’s upbringing - there would be more time to discuss things, more value for what you buy, and we won’t be fighting as much overall. 
that’s what i believe anyway. 
I think it would be easy for me to go into frantic-stressed mode. But I think that I backed away a bit when I simply decided that if I couldn’t remember it from back before I started wedding planning, it didn’t need to be included. My FI and I have totally different spending styles, but I’m paying for this out of how much I’ve saved, so while he thinks I’m a bit silly for scrimping here and there, I can tell him the budget for “X” and then how I plan on getting there from where I am. We’ll end up at more than I wanted to pay, but less than he thought we’d need. At this point in time (one month), I’m at the “I’ve got a location, a licenced officiant, a groom, and at least two witnesses. Everything else is just gravy.” place. It’s much happier than “that’s not the exact shade of green I said” place.
My wedding planning is becoming quite stressful as well, especially when it is in Texas and I live in NY. I’m pretty much picking vendors out blindly (so not my style..but what can you do). I’ve never been the type of girl who had her wedding figured since I was 2 or something. I did however expect my FI to play more of a role than he is right now. Needless to say it has caused some friction between us. To me, like being engaged, wedding planning is also special and an experience to look back on. But honestly, all I will remember is me and the laptop. It seems as though most guys rather not deal with the details. I just hope I can make it to the actual day without driving myself insane.
that you would stop to reflect on that and face it rather than go into denial is admirable. it makes me optimistic for your married future. that and i’m naturally optimistic. don’t worry; be happy.
I feel like wedding planning has turned my world upside down! Everything has changed - and we’re planning a no-fuss (for the most part) desination wedding!!
Our families and some friends have been treating us differently and we feel like we are walking on eggshells constantly - it’s caused some major tensions between the two of us as we stumble through it all.
The good news: yesterday we went to city hall and did the deed “legally” (our DW is a month away and we wanted to avoid some loopholes in Mexico’s wedding requirements). We did this in secret and don’t plan to reveal to our guests we’ve already been married for a month.
Seeing those married at city hall before and after us reminded me that a couple of people in jeans love each other no less than people who have spent years and fortunes planning their weddings.
When all was said and done, I was SO happy I was married to my man, I could ALMOST do away with the rest of the fuss (BUT the week in Mexico will still be a welcome treat!).
So - try to put it all in perspective and just enjoy - and just think… ANY day you could just tie the knot and no one even has to know.
| Visit our sister sites | Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Fertile Thoughts Infertility Support |
Mrs. Pearl, Los Angeles
Age and Occupation: 26, High school history teacher
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 37, Software engineer
Engagement Date: No official date, we just decided :-)
Wedding Date: July 2007
Venue: St. Anthony's Greek Orthodox Church, Ritz Carlton Huntington Hotel
About Me: Mr. Pearl and I have been together for about four and a half years now. We've been "engaged" since 2004 and were originally supposed to get married in June 2006, but postponed the wedding to July 2007. I love shopping for housewares and office supplies, music, reading chick lit, football, and the diverse world of Los Angeles dining.
| Sun | Mon | Tue | Wed | Thu | Fri | Sat |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 |
| 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 |
| 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 |
| 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 |
| 29 | 30 |
Latest Gallery Pics