Weddingbee Blog

I was actually a replacement bridesmaid 3 yrs ago, and I had no issues whatsoever. I was happy just to be asked, and happy I could help the bride out!

I would feel obligated to say yes, then feel weird about the situation.

I have uneven numbers due to a BM dropping out and have no intentions to fill the spot.

i would say no to being a replacement. it’s a lot of money and time (which were major factors in why i am having no bridesmaids). and it’s not much of a honor when someone knows (or suspects) that they were b-listed.

i was a replacement bridesmaid a few years ago. at least have the courtesy of paying for the BM dress and not making the replacement BM share the cost of the bachelorette. i had to do both, which i don’t think is fair to someone who is helping you out last minute.

yeah - i think i would only ask a family member to step in as a replacement… this is a sticky situation to be in! i hope everything works out!

I had to get a “replacement”, and I really think it’s all in how you handle it. I never once used the word “replacement” when trying to decide what to do. I simply looked at it as allowing another friend to share in my special day.

I originally had 4 BM, but one told me about 4 months out that she couldn’t (she lives in Canada, I’m in Oklahoma, and she just got a job that started that weekend!), and I was totally understanding. I’d have done the same thing she did. I was very sad though that she wasn’t going to be here at all.

Then I had to decide what to do. Fortunately, I had become very good friends with a girl at school since becoming engaged, and she was so excited to be a part of the wedding! She never thought of herself as the replacement, and never felt less than the other girls! Because of location, she was the only one able to go with me to my hair trial and fittings. She was also the only one that was with me when I got my hair done on the Big Day. We shared so many special moments, just she and I, that it was like she was a part of it from the beginning.

I don’t think someone should be offended by being a “replacement.” Instead, just think that you are lucky enough that someone else couldn’t be there that you can now!

This is where the love of family comes in.why not ask a family member-a cousin, sister, a junior bridesmaid? I know people get offended to be replacement bm, but I really don’t think a relative would be.

I woudn’t be offended at all if I was asked to step in for a friend or family member. I understand that a bride sometimes has many more close friends than spots in her wedding party, and I would feel honored that she thought of me to take that spot.

I would be offended if I was asked to be a replacement bridesmaid. It would tell me that you didn’t feel close enough to me in the first place to ask me to be in your first round pick and that the only reason you want me in the wedding party is because you want even numbers. I would turn the offer down, espcially if I thought I was close enough to you in the first place for you to ask to be a bridesmaid and not be asked until someone else dropped out.

But if you are set on asking the friend to be a bridesmaid, it would be fair for you to pay all the expenses related to being a bridesmaid on top of not expecting her to do much work. If you just need someone to even out the “look” then I would expect she would only be there for looks.

This happened to me as well. I wasn’t offended because my friend was honest. I knew she had asked 3 of her childhood friends and I’ve only known her since college so it was reasonable that I wouldn’t be asked, but when she did asked she was honest. She told me what the situation was and offered to pay for every expense for me. I told her that it wasn’t fair because of the other bridesmaids and that it was just too last minute for me to have so much money to save (I was a college student). Both of us were ok with it and she ended up asking a cousin. Maybe you can ask a family member if you don’t feel comfortable because they will be more understanding.