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Just when you thought it was safe to relax again, something happens. Let me give you a little background.
My family is from Dallas while my Fiance’s family is from Los Angeles. Whereas we are having 2 separate wedding days and 2 separate receptions, we are getting married on the 29th. The 29th is the day where all of our family and close friends are supposed to come and share in our day together, while the 30th is the family + friends of my parents day. We deliberately chose the 29th in consideration of certain California guests who had small children that would still be in school until that week. We moved the wedding date further back and back in order to accommodate them.
So after much research, calling venues, and stressing, we moved it back… We told them over a year ago and have been in touch constantly. The save-the-dates went out a week ago. Now they’re calling us and asking us to push back the date AGAIN because they decided on a whim that they want to go to Italy for fun on our wedding day. I mean it’s one thing if you genuinely can’t make it, but asking people to move their wedding date multiple times just so you can have a last-minute rendezvous in Italy is just plain rude.
URRRGGGGAaaaaaAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!! 
Oh no, that’s so rude. Don’t do it. If they can’t prioritize your wedding day ahead of a vacation then good riddance. You’ll be better off with them not there.
I wouldn’t have changed the date the first time… you’re nicer than I am. It’s YOUR wedding day. Forget everyone else. The end.
It’s your wedding… not theirs. If they’d rather be somewhere else than share that special moment with you, then so be it. You shouldn’t have to accomadate them or wait for them to get married. It’s your day- not theirs.
We had a similar situation - except it was a college football game that we were asked to change our date a second time over. It couldn’t be done, so everyone has accepted it. If people can’t make it, that’s their choice. It’s ok by me! We already changed it once to accommodate these same people.
I’m sorry but I feel like this is no longer your problem. Everything has been set, so go with it! I mean, this is a very important event for you two and it’s so upsetting that they can’t see that. It’s not only inconvenient for you but everyone else who will be joining you guys to celebrate your marriage. Relax! You did your best..
wow, that’s unbelievable!! i can’t believe they have the gall to ask that… are these close friends of yours?
you’re a sweetheart for changing the date. tell them that if they REALLY want to attend the wedding at a later date, perhaps they would be so sweet to call all your vendors you’ve already reserved and also order and mail out new save the dates for you.
That’s when you say, “Sorry that you guys won’t be able to make it, but have a wonderful time in Italy!”
oh my god. how rude!!
someone half-seriously asked me to move my wedding a few weeks back so that it would be closer to the xmas holidays so she could spend time with her family then too.
i didn’t bother sending her an invitation.
I totally cannot imagine, being family or not, asking someone to change their wedding date for me! If it is important to them they will be there, if not then you probably don’t need/want them there anyway. That is super rude! I agree it is not your problem, don’t even stress about it!
forget them! if they have the audacity to ask you that, just for a fun trip to Italy, then they don’t seem to really care much about you and your fiance’s wishes and even about the wedding itself. tell them to enjoy Italy and you’ll see them after your wedding. if that were me, i wouldn’t even think TWICE about not accomodating them. You already have, and you shouldn’t have to do it again.
That is completely and totally rude of them. I can’t believe they had the nerve to ask you to change your wedding day because they wanted to take a trip to Italy. You shouldn’t do it, and if they don’t like it, that’s their problem.
wow, i can’t agree more with everyone who has already posted! i don’t think you should have moved the date back in the first place either. i would try to take all holidays and school days into consideration, but frankly, i couldn’t (and sometimes wouldn’t) accomodate everybody. and that trip to italy… well, i hope they’ll have a terrible time especially because they’re missing your wedding!
Aren’t we taught it that “doesn’t hurt to ask?” You are in control of your wedding date, and if family can’t make it, after a year’s notice, that’s too bad. I don’t agree how everyone is criticizing the family member who is going to Italy. No one is “forcing” you to change your date.
As the cliche goes…You can’t please everyone.
The fact that they’re at the point where STDs are out, I do think it was extremely inappropriate for this family member to call and ask for the date to be moved. I knew I had a potential school conflict with my sister’s wedding and told her my schedule more than a year in advance before they picked their date. If she had scheduled vendors and sent STDs I just would have sucked it up, not said anything, and figured out a way to make it work.
Perhaps this family member thinks planning a wedding is equivalent to planning a small dinner party and moving things isn’t a big deal. However, they should have still realized that once all the guests have received an STD the date is what it is.
wow…i can only imagine how frustrated you are! i would be pulling my hair due to the insanity of those specified guests..but you know what? you were VERY nice enough to move dates around..but the save-the-dates have gone out, and you have finally figured out your special day…dont switch it around again due to some european vacay that was scheduled on a whim..boo to that~ those guests need to recognize how foolish and inconsiderate they are being!!
That is so incredibly RUDE! Definately don’t change it on account of THEM! It’s their OWN FAULT! Glad I don’t have much family to have drama in! lol
besides the rudeness and inconsideration, it’s TOO LATE.
Planning a wedding is easy. Planning AROUND family is darn near impossible.
We are also in a similar situation - one half of the family is in the states, while the other half is in South America. Since there are visa issues for the South Americans, and cost issues for the US side, we decided to “bring the wedding” to each side, holding a reception in the states and the wedding in Rio. While one would think that would be enough to make everyone happy, we have been asked to make special ammends across the board. Part of my rush to get save the dates out was to put an end to the endless requests to make it “easier” for everyone.
I know it is hard when it is your family - you both love and want to please - but it is your wedding!
I’m not sure whether to put this one down to “The Noive” or gumption.
More seriously, this is when you, in your most polite and sweet voice, say, “Well, gosh, we thought we had that all taken care of when we replanned our wedding date for you last year. But see, sweatheart*, we’ve already sent out the date to everybody, and put a lot of money into reserving the wedding date that we picked out for you. We’ll be so dissappointed if you decide to leave the country instead of attending our wedding, but you know what you need to do.”
*Or whatever endearment you think most effective.
They will probably realize that they were acting like heels to make the request, but you never know.
Even if they are very close friends, it seems absurd for them to ask you to make such a big change. Don’t stress, keep your date! It wasn’t nice of them to put you in this position.
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Mrs. Plum, Dallas Age and Occupation in 06: 22, Accountant by day/Floral and Event Designer by night and weekends Fiance's Age and Occupation: 24, Security Admin Engagement Date: December 31, 2004 Wedding Date: June 29, 2007 Venue: Marie Gabrielle Restaurant and Gardens About Me: I have been engaged for about two years now - yes, a long engagement, because my fiance and I wanted to wait until I graduated college, which I did this past summer! He proposed after dating just two months - crazy, I know, but 2 years later, here we are, still crazy in love :-). We are having not one, but TWO weddings and TWO receptions in one weekend - American-style and Vietnamese-style - in Dallas, Texas, where I was born and raised!
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