&#8220;Bridezilla!&#8221;

“Bridezilla!”

December 12th, 2006 @ 12:14 pm by Mrs. Blueberry
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Call it a legitimate complaint, call it a pet peeve, call it “Miss Blueberry, you really need something else to worry about!” but I am sick of the term “bridezilla” being tossed around.

When I first heard it (long before I got engaged), I thought it was a mildly entertaining description of the kind of girl who goes overboard and gets unreasonably b*tchy when she’s planning her wedding. And I’m pretty sure that’s still what it’s *supposed* to mean. But lately, I think it has been tossed around entirely too much: “I decided I want to serve a different entree…does that make me a bridezilla?” “She got mad at me when I skipped the rehearsal! What a bridezilla!” “Now don’t go all bridezilla on me, but I think your venue burned down.” etc. etc.

The term has become a catch-all phrase for any bride who becomes at all upset over the course of wedding planning. If something goes horribly wrong, who does everyone turn to to fix it? Who is in charge of making sure everything about the Big Day goes perfectly? And who has devoted months of their lives to planning a gorgeous celebration? And yet if we react negatively to any obstacle, we’re automatically deemed bridezillas. Not. Fair.

There’s a big difference between us everyday girls trying to cope with various wedding-related mishaps, and the screaming banshees on the “Bridezillas” TV show. We usually try to be sweet, and nice, and accomodating, and if we have to stand up for ourselves to get things done, so be it. But just because we’re busy and possibly really emotional, does not mean that we’re monsters.

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11 Responses to ““Bridezilla!””

Guest

I think the word is funny, and some women are deserving of this word, totally. But it’s a bit overused.

Bridezillas are insane. It’s ONE day of your life. If something goes wrong, OH WELL! Nothing is perfect, and your wedding won’t be, either.

12/12/06 @ 12:37 pm (reply)

Guest

Chrissie

I am so glad that you posted about this since it’s a pet peeve of mine, too! Just last week, I got a phone call from a vendor that my planner had missed a meeting, and I very carefully worded my e-mail to her since I didn’t want to look like a bridezilla. The incident really made me think.

I think it’s similar to how women are afraid to appear “b*tchy”, while if they were men it would just appear assertive.

12/12/06 @ 12:47 pm (reply)

Guest

Rebecca

Between your post about the “mean website” and this I really think it would be healthy for you to take a break from wedding planning.

12/12/06 @ 12:54 pm (reply)

Guest

Grace

i completely agree with you. I find myself trying to actually not step on peoples toes while planning my own wedding because if I get a little upset or ask for something I immediately, without hesitation am called bridezilla. It kinda hurts my feelings a bit because I havent gotten really upset or demanded anything at all with four more months to go. I think people find it funny so they use it alot but then I think others use it just so that you wont turn into one. Kinda keeping you in check, which i think is terrible.

Some brides I know they go crazy and are absolutely bridezillas. I gave permission to my maid of honor that if I ever really became she could slap some sense into me. But she has yet to slap me around…hahaha, and even my fiance is telling me that I should be more stern.

So glad you posted this. hahaha. I felt like I was the only one in this situation.

12/12/06 @ 1:23 pm (reply)

Guest

katie

I’ll admit, I did kind of giggle when you thought that website was mean, but I think you have a point here. I hate when women are referred to a “bridezillas” — like people are just standing around, waiting for you to lose it. I asked my fiancee not to call me a bridezilla or to use the term b/c I think it’s degrading. There is a fine line between caring and getting obsessed, but there is nothing wrong for asserting yourself and making sure things are done the way you agreed. Any man could do this and would not be called a groomzilla. It’s called business.

12/12/06 @ 2:25 pm (reply)

Guest

Carissa

IndieBride.com has a great essay about this:

http://www.indiebride.com/essays/macadam/index.html

12/12/06 @ 2:40 pm (reply)

Guest

Rebecca, if you hadn’t said it, I would. Don’t get so touchy over something like this. It’s not worth the time. I agree, you need to take a break.

12/12/06 @ 2:45 pm (reply)

Guest

Miss Blueberry

Great article, Carissa–thanks for sharing.

12/12/06 @ 3:02 pm (reply)

Guest

cella

I think the people who really fit the term “bridezilla” tend to be pretty “zilla” in their day to day life.

12/12/06 @ 3:43 pm (reply)

10.

Guest

fizzyg

Along with what cella said…if you think to yourself before you respond ‘would I say the same thing if this wasn’t for my wedding’, and you would, then more power to you. If you’d make the same argument, request, etc. to any vendor who was providing any service to you, then I think it’s justified. However, if you make a huge deal over something when normally you wouldn’t, except that it’s ‘YOUR BIG DAY’, then it’s deserving of that term.

12/12/06 @ 5:24 pm (reply)

11.

Guest

Pen

I disagree with those above who think your reaction is a sign that you should take a break. The common use of the term bridezilla is a demeaning one, and I don’t think your reaction is based on the stress of wedding planning. I’m not even (actively) planning my wedding, and I still think the the way it’s used is mostly dreadful.

12/12/06 @ 10:44 pm (reply)