Wedding Blog
We (aka Mr. Lily) are hard at work designing our wedding invitations. We had a little debate tonight. Mr. Lily was wondering whether we should put our Web site URL on the invitations. I didn’t think so since it’s on the save-the-dates, which we sent to everyone. Also, our URL is sort of quirky, which had a less formal feel to me. He was fine either way, but I was just wondering what the proper etiquette for this is?
Another question… if we write, “Formal Attire” on the invite, what does this make you think you should wear?
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i’d forego the web site on the invitation proper. i agree that it could seem informal (and URL’s aren’t inherently “pretty”)
esp. since you’ve sent it on the save-the-dates already.
to me, “formal attire” means ideally black tie for men but at least a dark suit, and fancy dress (though not necessarily floor length) for women. we struggled over this wording like you have no idea. i;ve been told by others, though, that to them only “black tie” means tuxedos and that “formal attire” means a dark suit.
me thinks formal attire = suite & tie for guys, at least an evening appropriate cocktail dress for gals, but no tuxes or floor length dresses
I agree with Mrs. Daisy - formal attire means dressed up for a nice evening dinner, not necessarily a tux and a floor length gown.
I’m putting the website on my invitations because we didn’t include them in the save the dates (because we didn’t send save the dates to everyone in the first place). We’re trying to find a “corner” of the invitation to hide them - where it won’t be conspicuous and glaringly “unpretty.”
But, if people already have the URL’s, then there’s no need!
If you are concerned about putting the url on the invitation why don’t you have business cards made with the address on it and include it as another enclosure card. business cards are inexpensive to make.
to me formal is one step down from black tie.
Hmmm… I sturggle with the formal attire thing because I want the women to know to dress up, but I don’t want the men to think they should wear tuxes since the groomsmen won’t be doing this!!!
If you really want to include the URLs, maybe they could do on the reception card or some other insert.
Oops, KT beat me to it!
The style and formality of your invite should send a message about the formality of your wedding, so it may not be necessary to spell it out.
If you already included the URL on the save the dates then don’t include them on the invites.
The formal attire thing is tricky. I know that black tie means black tie and formal attire means a suit but a lot of your guests may not know that. What about saying “semi-formal” instead of “formal attire”.
To me, the invitation should only have details of your name, his name, the time and place. You can always include a card to have “good to know” details like maybe a map, directions to the church and reception, attire, a url, etc. I think having these details on the invitation takes away from the formal intent of the invitation and clutters it with unnecessary information.
I had a great experience with snappymaps.com, take a look at their info — their pricing is very reasonable and the turn-around time is outstanding!
Formal attire, to me is: for women- “little black dress”, or something similar, like a cocktail dress. for men- a nice suit (or at the very least, a very nice shirt & tie)
I wouldn’t put the url on the invitation, but I have seen samples online where the url was enclosed on a smaller business card with the couple’s monogram. That seems like too much work and an additional thing I would have to print. If you want to include it, I would include it onto the map & directions card.
oops, it is snappymap.com — they are great!
I agree with the popular opinion - I would not think a tux is necessary for “formal attire.”
As for the URL, we’re going to have a “miscellaneous other important information” card stuck in with our invites, which will have a little more on directions, remind people they are invited to come up a few days early, and the URL again. The URL was listed on our Save The Dates, but those went out months ago by now, and we aren’t getting married until June, so I’m sort of expecting the majority of people not to have that on hand. Also, it apparently didn’t occur to a bunch of people to go to our website the first time around anyway, so I think I’m going to do a more explicit “FOR DIRECTIONS & IMPORTANT INFORMATION GO HERE” type message next to the URL this time around. 
Hehe although, maybe not in all caps would be classier!
Yes, you have to hit ppl on the head so they look at your website. If possible, give it to them twice. We did an insert card with the invitations in addition to including it on the STD.
And I think all weddings are formal attire - I would only include dressing directions unless it was semi formal (casual garden-style wedding) or black tie.
I would leave out the website -
black tie optional is semi formal
and white tie is the most formal - aka tux and long gowns, depending on what you’re looking for.
Well here in the midwest, we pretty much have to make it *really* clear what guests are supposed to wear to weddings, or else they’ll show up in khakis and button-downs, or similar. So we’re putting “semi-formal attire requested” on the invites, with the expectation that our evening garden wedding will have people in appropriate attire (tea-length or knee-length dresses for the women, slacks and a jacket for the men). Actually, it sort of irritates me that people dress so casually for weddings around here…I feel like if it’s a special event, you should put forth effort to make yourself look special.
if you want to, put the url on the directions card.
you can say something about for things to do in town visit our wedding webpage. (but make sure your wedding webpage actually lists things for your guests to do) duh.
formal attire = BLACK TIE. although many people don’t know that, so you will likely have some people wearing tuxes and some people not and everyone confused…
either say “black tie invited” “black tie optional” “black tie preferred” or just “black tie”
depending on what you want of course…
I wouldn’t put the URL in because you have it on the STD’s and I think invitations should be formal too!
My cousin wrote formal attire on his invitation… it made me panic because I wasn’t sure what it meant. Usually people know to wear something nice, but it doesn’t hurt if you want it a little dressier than “church” clothes!
Good luck!!!
With question #1- I agree with Liz above. The URL is fine on the save the dates. You can do anything with those. But the invite, especially if its formal, shouldn’t have the URL
With question #2- nice full length dress. Gala-ish. Men wearing nice tuxes possibly, or at least a very very nice suit.
I’d go with black tie optional if you want to convey attire of suits but not tuxes.
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Miss Lily, New York/Tucson
Age and Occupation in 06: 30, Public Health Researcher
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 30, Art/Web Stuff
Engagement Date: February 11, 2006
Wedding Date: April, 2007
Venue: Tuscon, Arizona
About Me: Here are some things I love?�‚�? painting, drawing, knitting and all other crafty things (including glueing popsicle sticks together); burritos (must be from Arizona); indie/70s rock; whiskey; dogs (if only my tiny apt could support one!); bad TV; and reading. I'm also crazy indecisive so fingers crossed wedding planning doesn't kill me.
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