Wedding Blog
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Since December does seem to be the most popular month for getting engaged, I thought we’d hold a contest for proposal ideas and tips. One random winner will receive a Cuisinart Cookbook and an Oneida serving spoon. You have until 5:00 pm EST tomorrow to enter.
I don’t know how big our male audience is, but maybe a guy looking to propose will stumble on this page by googling “proposal tips” or maybe a female friend will forward this post to a guy who’s planning on popping the question. So let’s help these guys out!
About.com has some great proposal ideas and do’s and don’ts of proposing.
What are some of your tips and ideas for popping the question?
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Not just the guys–I proposed to my FI, and I’m glad I did, because otherwise I would have been waiting a long, long time.
The story itself is pretty lame. We were on the phone long distance (he was in Minnesota, I was teaching in Europe), and I said, “You want to get married next August?” He said “Yes.”
Of course, we decided to hold the wedding in June.
My biggest tip would be to know your FI-to-be well and tailor your proposal accordingly! Some people would love to be proposed to in public and all the attention that comes with it, others would be mortified.
Some women would want a novel/fancy setting and others would want to be proposed to when you’re snuggling together at home or doing something ordinary together.
Before thinking you have to do something extravagant or complicated, think about what suits her, her tastes and interests, and what the two of you are like as a couple.
I’m a girl, but I’m actually planning to propose to my guy in a few months - it’s really scary, but also so exciting! Here are some of the things I’ve been thinking about
(1) Make your proposal about the two of you as a couple, about what you think is romantic, not what society says is romantic. Don’t think you need to get down on your knee during a candlelit dinner - if that is your style, go for it, but if not, then propose after a hike, or during your monthly bowling night, or right before a trip to the art museum. Your proposal should be specific to you as a couple!
(2) Don’t propose in front of other people, especially in front of family! You don’t want your intended to feel pressured by other people’s expectations. There will be plenty of time to share special moments with everyone in your life - this moment should be about you.
(3) If you can do so discreetly, find out what your SO wants out of a proposal. Bring it up casually, by referencing books, movies, or other people you know. “Did you know that Jack proposed at the top of a ferris wheel? I wonder how Jill felt about that…”
(4) Stay calm (this is hard - trust me!) but if you are nervous, don’t try to hide it too much. Your proposal should not be an act, it should be from the heart. If your SO knows you are nervous, he or she will also realize how important it is to you, and what could be more romantic than that?
I can’t wait to see everyone else’s tips!
My proposal was geared toward me. My fiance made dinner with all my favorite foods and then as he lifted the tray to reveal the main course there was my ring (and the main course of course!) He ahd Canon D playing throughout the apartment (my absolute fav song) as well as candles and rose petals scattered all around. It was everything I loved so it was the perfect proposal so my advice is to make your proposal all about your special girl Whether it be at her favorite resturant, watching your favorite TV show or movie or whatever just make it about her and she will love it Good luck to all you happy enagged couples =)
Wow, Jen, I didn’t see your post when I wrote mine. That’s awesome! I actually feel ready to propose right now (and almost did a few times, because the moment just felt right to me), but I know he isn’t quite ready. How did you know it was time to propose?
I totally agree with felicity. You have to know your FI. Is she shy? Then don’t do it in a huge public place. Does she love attention? Then you can consider the bigger venues. I think the biggest thing is that you put thought into it and show it. Even the “typical” restaurant proposal becomes special if it’s the place you two started dating, a place you two always said you wanted to try, etc. It’s always nice to bring in nice touches (although not necessary) of her favorite flower, or things that you remember that she likes… perhaps you can even mention those in your proposal… Bottom line, is make it special, meaningful, and tailored to her.
My advice is …make it special to the two of you. Don’t do it in front of family or friends…or even strangers at a restaurant - too much pressure. Make it a private, special moment between the two of you.
Not necessarily a tip or advice.. but the way my husband-to-be did it was priceless.
He took me to our favorite park. I had a feeling he was going to do it there, so I was thinking that day was the day. He pulls out a ring box, I freak out, he opens it.. only to reveal a pair of earrings. He was sincere and said he loves it when I wear earrings, and I haven’t been lately, so he wanted to give me a pair. After much arguing inside of myself whether to be happy or to be mad, I decided he was really being serious and I needed to by happy. I thanked him for them. He dropped the box by “accident”, which totally looked real, then he switched that box with the box that had the ring as he went down to pick it up. I completely missed the swap, and next thing I know he’s down on one knee opening a box that I thought was the same one. So, he proposed and I said yes and we danced under the moonlight.
So any advice? I’d have to say if she’s expecting it, haha find a way to let her down right before you do it so she really is surprised. It worked for me.
My husband proposed to me by taking me back to our first date. He threw me a picnic and in the basket was full of my favorite food and two fortune cookies. he customized his own fortune cookie and he gave me one that says “will you marry me?” when i looked up he had a ring in his hand and in his fortune cookie it says “she will say yes” i thought it was cute! and i did say yes.
i also agree with jen, to make it special between only you two. after my husband proposed to me he listed things he loved about me and what he looked forward in the future with me and that really made my day. i think that compliments always work!
i agree with everyone else, but in terms of knowing if your intended’s shy or not…don’t go by that as your main indicator of whether or not they’d like to be proposed to in public. i LOVE being the center of attention but i abhor the idea of being proposed to in a crowd/public [strange...i know]. i LOVE sports but have bit the kibosh on a sporting event proposal…so really take your time and tailor your proposal to them. forget what’s popular or whatever the trend is.
Again, not really a tip, but I had to share our story.
FI and I met in college and have been together since. Last year we noticed that our alma mater football team (Go Badgers!) were playing at Hawaii the last game of the season. We thought it would be a great excuse to go. The trip was right after our anniversary, so it was our gift to one another. On our anniversary, FI gave me a surprise present- a helicopter tour of the island. I have always wanted to go on a helicopter, but FI was pretty scared. This was so special to me because he was putting his own fears aside to do something for me.
Little did I know, but he had been corresponding to the tour company to arrange a proposal. FI paid the pilot to get some of his friends to write the proposal in the sand for us to see from the helicopter.
FI was so nervous, but I thought he was just scared to fly. Shortly after take off, the pilot came on the speaker and told me to look down at the beach- Will you marry me Jen? I looked at FI and he shoved the ring in my face!
It was so perfect! We even have some great pics to prove it!
My tip has more to do with the ring than the actual proposal: make sure the ring will fit! My sister’s engagement ring was WAY too big and she couldn’t wear it for the first few weeks of the engagement because it was being re-sized- and that’s when everyone wants to see the ring! I don’t think there’s a good way to guess a ring size, but you could always go to a jewlery store to figure out her size WAY before you plan to propose, or have her try on friends’ rings.
You could be like the guy who started a website to raise money to buy a commercial during the superbowl so his proposal could be the biggest televised proposal ever…
Oh, and related to Mary’s tip - if you are a guy proposing to a girl, you might want to try to feel out if she really wants a ring (many women don’t), or if she wants a diamond (again, many women don’t). Also, what styles she is likely to prefer.
TIP: If you’re unsure about the engagement ring get a placeholder and choose the ring together or take her to choose one sorta like the scene in Sweet Home Alabama.
TIP: Do not put the ring in any food, it might go awry.
TIP: If propsing in public or in front of friends/family make sure that your intended is comfortable with that kind of setting for a big moment.
IDEA: My fiance proposed to me by making a photo collage of a few of our pictures together on 4×6 photo paper and added a picture in the center of him hold a sign asking me to marry him. He then slipped into a snapfish photo order of mine. When I got home from work he asked what I had ordered from snapfish and asked if we could look at the pics together. We looked through the pictures and the VERY last one was his collage. I was so shocked I had to be reminded to give him an answer.
if you are set to have it in a restaurant, one idea is to have it engraved on a dessert plate and have your favorite restaurant serve dessert on it for a night out. just make sure you don’t get icecream or it’ll melt all over the message and she won’t be able to read the “will you marry me part”. make sure you help her eat all of the dessert too! and you can surprise her by having closest friends and family be at the restaurant hour later to celebrate. magical.
A newly engaged acquaintance of mine was give a tin candy box filled with m&ms that were printed with “Will You Marry Me.” Underneath all the the candy was the ring. She had to dig for it!
Me and my then bf now fi were going to look at houses on the weekend. I wanted the realtor to think that we were serious buyers so i pretended we were already engaged. I had an excuse already planned out in case she asked where my ring was. I’d tell her that it was getting resized. Turns out i didn’t have to use that excuse because the day before he surprised me at work with flower and the ring! I never expected it since he’s shown up with flowers in the past. It was when he started talking about our relationship did i realized that he was going to propose.
A colleague of mine did a very special proposal.
He surprised his now wife with lessons for flying a plane since it was her dream to fly. After the first lesson, when they had landed and she was still excited, he proposed, which I guess made that moment perfect for her.
She actually didn’t say yes. She was going through a rough patch in her life and asked him give her some time. Two years later when they were out at a romantic dinner she said ‘By the way, the answer is yes, I would love to marry you’.
I would suggest having a proposal at a place meaningful to the both of you. Make it romantic and having surprises are always nice (flowers, etc!)
flowers and finding the right engagement ring, of course!
I just stumbled upon this website tonight when I was searching for invitation ideas. So wonderful, I’ll definitely be looking at it more. My fiance proposed four weeks ago. I think he did google search for ideas and he found an idea using roses to represent the past, present, and future, and he decided to spruce it up. I’ll post his proposal (kind of lengthy) but so meaningful. I think one of the most meaningful parts of his proposal included the tangible letters that I can always look back on, and the engraving in my engagement ring
He surprised me with the following proposal:
One Monday afternoon, I returned home from the hospital to find my desk filled with a love letter entitled “The Past,” along with a pressed rose, and a “Jennifer and Luis Timeline” with key events in our relationship up to that date represented as tiny pictures. Luis stated in his letter, “the pressed rose, no longer blooming but lovingly and carefully preserved, represents the past.” He said that every moment represented on the timeline was cherished in his memory and always will be, because it was time spent with me.
On Wednesday evening, I went to his home, and as I passed through his front door, there was another love letter entitled “The Present,” along with a live rose, and a gift wrapped in white. Luis stated that “the blooming rose, fragrant and beautiful in its own right, represents the present.” The gift was a beautiful watch that was engraved “every moment is yours.” Luis’s letter stated the meaning was twofold: “to seize the present and live to the fullest, but also that I give all of my moments to share with you.” After ’’β¬ ”the past,’’β¬? and ’’β¬ ”the present,’’β¬? I knew there would be ’’β¬ ”the future’’β¬? and I looked forward to it. I could not keep the smile off my face that week.
Friday, November 10, was a gorgeous, sunny day in Virginia. I thought I was meeting Luis at Riverview Park to run a three mile loop, before we had to get ready for dinner with his parents. After waiting 15 minutes for Luis to arrive, I saw his neighbor running off the trail. When questioned, he stated that he had not seen Luis but he did see an envelope with my name on it at the entrance to the trail. I knew at that moment, this was going to be it. I raced over and the envelope enclosed a letter entitled “The Path of Life” that instructed me to continue on the trail. As I went farther on the trail lined by trees in beautiful autumn colors, I saw another envelope suspended between two trees with a rose that had not yet bloomed. The enclosed love letter was titled “The Future” and stated “that the unopened rose, its beauty hidden but full of potential, represented the future.” Luis wrote ’’β¬
”we’ve walked our own path together for such a short time. I look back fondly at the past moments that we’ve shared. I rejoice in our present joy and happiness. But more than any of those, I look forward to the long future that lies ahead’’β¬? and that my final gift would be waiting for me where the two trails meet. I ran ahead and found Luis waiting at the crossroads where he said to me ’’β¬
”I love you. I want to share my past, my present, and especially my future with you. I want to live and grow together with you as husband and wife.” Then he knelt down and asked, “Will you be my wife?” The engagement ring is engraved ’’β¬
”more than yesterday,’’β¬? which has often been our response to how much we love one another.
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Can bloggers play too? =o)
TIPS:
Don’t just make it a cookie cutter, insert boy-and-girl here proposal… Make sure you tell her exactly how you feel about her, how you feel about your relationship, WHY you want to spend the rest of your lives together, and your hopes for the future. Make it meaningful and personal!
IDEAS:
* Hire a photographer to follow you two around and sneak in photos of the proposal and her reaction!
* Some girls can smell a proposal coming from a mile away. She might be expecting it because it’s her birthday or it’s your anniversary. Or maybe your anxiety gives it away. Or you become strangely stubborn about getting to a certain location by a certain time..
To throw her off, give her another meaningful present (like jewelry, or a family heirloom, or a scrapbook of your time together). This way, she might attribute your strange behaviour to that gift and won’t be as suspicious of a proposal. Then later, surprise her again!
I forgot where I read this, I may have even read it on weddingbee… but I always thought the coolest proposal was the guy who placed a ring on his girlfriend’s finger while she was sleeping. What a way to wake up in the morning.
Since I work in Marketing, I think it would be fantastic to see the proposal happen on television. I would suggest creating a television commercial using the same idea as the DeBeers Diamonds are forever campaign where the characters are all white against a black background, starring none other than yourself. Be sure to purchase the commercial spot in a program that you and your significant other are sure to be watching together. What better way to show your love for the other person and have millions of other viewers wondering who was the romantic person to come up with such an idea?!
TIP: Really take note of what your fiance would want (ie., don’t do it in front of friends and/or family if she isn’t really into that)
TIP: You might want to write out what you want to say to her (or him!) — my FI did this (he had it beautifully written on gorgeous wedding stationary and than rolled it up like a scroll) — not only did he not forget what he was going to say & just blurt something out, but I also have a momento of the proposal that will last a lifetime!
TIP: Allow time after the proposal for your FI to phone friends & family — she’ll likely be dying to tell everyone!
Tip: Always remember something can go wrong during the proposal and remember to not panic! (example: my fiance’s phone went off while he was in his speech mode of how much he loved me)
Tip: Have someone take pictures or videos, because memory can fade, but those you can watch over and over again
Tip: Take them by suprise. It’s no fun when you know you’re getting proposed to!
Tip: Remember little details from when you’ve first met, maybe a present she gave you early in the relationship, a picture that you might have taken together, it’s the fact that you remembered little details that will make a proposal more meaningful.
***TIP: (most important) make the proposal unique for your SO…
My story: My fiance and I were in the car, and we were talking about marriage, and other things, when he tells me…”There’s something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about, and takes out a plastic ring that I had given to him the first night we met. It was a glow in the dark plastic ring, and I had given it to him as a joke. He puts it on my finger and tells me “I’m sorry I don’t have the money to buy you a real ring…but I had to ask you…Will you marry me?”
Of course at this point, I’m bawling my eyes out (not only because the plastic ring is so hideous…j/k!)
And I tell him yes, and give him a hug. So we sit, looking at this hideous plastic ring and laughing at the silliness of it all, when he says “That just doesn’t look right…let’s see if this works better,” and takes out a box..
I stared att the box…not yet registering that this has a ring…and he opened it….and there it was…a beautiful diamond ring…
Style graduate: I won’t say that I proposed on a whim, because I had known for several months that I wanted to marry him, but the timing of asking was pretty spontaneous. We were just talking about how much we loved each other, and I couldn’t not ask!
I think that all of these proposal stories are sweet and gorgeous, but for the two of us, making a big deal out of it wouldn’t have worked. Our relationship has always been about the sweet, little gestures, and so a simple, “I love you. Would you like to marry me?” conversation is exactly what fit the two of us.
Jen - thanks! That’s the sort of relationship I have with my guy as well; and the times when I’ve really wanted to propose have been like that too. I just need to wait until I know it is the right moment for both of us.
Just in case i’m commenting here! My email address is sillymangopie@yahoo.com! Thank you!
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