Wedding Blog
One of the weddingbees emailed me two nights ago and asked what I thought was worth spending money on now that my wedding was far behind me. Since getting married, I’ve attended almost a dozen weddings of all different kinds and budgets, and it’s really put what’s important into perspective.
To me, these are the three most important aspects of a wedding:
1) A meaningful ceremony.
We never forget when a bride or grooms reads their own vows or adds touches to really personalize a ceremony. Most of the planning goes into the reception, but the ceremony is actually what the wedding is about. Making it meaningful and memorable doesn’t have to cost you anything at all.
2) The music.
The music really sets the tone for an event so you want to get a DJ or band that’s fantastic. Be sure to get tons of references from actual brides (especially if you’re using a DJ), because this is one area where you want to make sure that you’re getting someone who is not only great, but also understands your music preferences.
3) The overall flow/organization of the event.
Unorganized weddings can disrupt the ambiance and flow of an event. I don’t think you absolutely need a coordinator to keep things running smoothly (of course they’re nice to have), but it’s definitely a wise idea to create a detailed schedule beforehand and stick to it. Maybe you can have your maid of honor or a friend make sure that all the day’s events start/end as planned.
In the big scheme of things, the flowers, favors, menus, out of town bags - all the details we obsess over - don’t really matter. Of course they’re great things to have and guests do appreciate them, but you can certainly have a fantastic wedding without them (and I’ve attended such weddings). If you told me that while I was planning my wedding, I doubt I would have listened, but I swear it’s true. 
The two things that I absolutely don’t regret spending money on was the music and our day of coordinator who kept the evening running seamlessly. In retrospect I probably would have spent less on the flowers and stationery (invitations, programs, menus, etc.), but overall I was happy with how everything turned out.
What do you think are the most important aspects of a great wedding? What’s worth and what isn’t worth spending money on for you?
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Booo, I really want people to comment on this one!! GIve a bride-to-be some perspective here.
Photography is important to me, cause that’s how you’ll remember the day–through photos.
oh yes definitely photography is very important. i was thinking of vendors that guests notice and help make the wedding great. 
photography. a day of coordinator… friend or professional.
Makeup and hair for me! I didn’t realize until attending many weddings later how important flawless hair and makeup is on your wedding day - especially for pictures! I loved my pictures, but would hate a great picture because of the way my hair or makeup looked in the picture.
Honestly, our budget was tiny for the DJ. But after attending a wedding that had an awesome band… we are going to re-arrange the budget! This is the first wedding I’ve been to (and I’ve been to ALOT!) where the dance floor was completely full the entire time! And it had to be the band!
So after that night, my fiance and I decided to lower the price of our flowers and upgrade to a band that kicks ass! And I also agree with MCRBride, that photography is VERY VERY important…
Bee definitely got it right on the money. What are the two essentials for a good wedding? 1) a touching ceremony and 2) a great party!!
Photography/ videography is important for documenting the day. But really, other than that.. everything else is just gravy..
i think the two most important priorities for me are photography and two people who look genuinely happy to be married to each other!
any recommendations on a great DOC in NYC?
I agree! Photography = very important, next to the ceremony.
I’m debating whether or not I should shell out more money for the DJ/band……
Pictures…. and FOOD! How can you leave out the food y’all? I wish I could time travel back to my wedding so I can doggy bag some more food. I still drool thinking about my plate.
Location, location, location - it sets the tone of your wedding. And food is important as well.
Next to a meaningful ceremony, I’ll chime in on a wedding coordinator, be it a day-of or month-of or one for longer…ours was a God-send. She kept me sane. Next, our great photographers and a dj who could read a room. And although it wasn’t a must-have, we ended spending significantly more (but not excessively so) on flowers and the overall look of the event, which was held at an incredible private estate. I worried over it, but it was so worth it — it helped make the day even more magical. However, for each couple it’ll vary. Truly the most important thing to strive for is to really be PRESENT on your own wedding day and to do what is most meaningful to you. Definitely you can get by fine without spending a lot (money and especially time) on paper products (invites, program, menu cards etc) and favors.
Having it on a Saturday. I know Friday is now a standard as well but I really appreciate not having to take a day (or even a 1/2 day) off to attend a ceremony.
Top Shelf Liquor - I drink liquor so I notice when they’re serving Old Granddad or Jim Beam instead of Jack Daniel’s.
Do you have any good DJ recommendations for the city? I can’t find any that I like…
I agree on the flowers part. People spends tons on money on flowers. but what matters is the ambience which is mostly created by lighting. A lot of people are spending big bucks on lighting design. Seriously, our photographer, Something in Blue, can’t stress to us more about how much lighting can add to the mood of your reception which your guest spent at least 4 hours in. I agree the ceremony is important and make it very special but don’t waste money on decorating the place/church so that it looks like a palace. People are more interested and should focus on you and your husband. not the chuappah!
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Mrs. Bee, New York
Age and Occupation: 29, Weddingbee Publisher
Fiance's Age and Occupation: 33, Internet
Engagement Date: May 7, 2004
Wedding Date: March 5, 2005
Venue: Westside Loft, New York
About Me: Yes, my name really is Bee! I love my blogging, wikis, and tabasco sauce!
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